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Thread: Any primal non-christians here? page 2

  1. #11
    Philmont Scott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cruncan View Post
    Not long ago my girlfriend said she couldn't see herself marrying me because I'm not a christian. This really hurt me because she knew I wasn't christian from the beginning and it never bothered her. I don't know what I believe and I'm not very religious right now. Are there any good morale, non-christian women out there? I'm going through some tough times and I need some re-assurance I'm not crazy for believing what I believe. And that there is some hope out there for me.

    Thanks,
    Chris
    Sorry for butting in here.

    Since you said "girlfriend", not "ex-girlfriend", I will point out that what you heard may have been a plea for you to at least seriously consider her beliefs. Have you taken the time to understand what she believes, and why she believes it? Or have you rejected it based on what you have picked up from popular culture? If she is serious enough about her faith to realize that she shouldn't marry a non-Christian, then as a non-Christian you would probably not be very happy married to her. At least, it would be an additional point of contention between you.

    Once you look into it, "Christian" is used in a lot of different ways by different people. If you are still dating this woman, you owe it to yourself to understand what she means by the term. To understand that, you need background.

    If you are a reader by nature, I would encourage you to read the New Testament. That's the back part of most Bibles, starting at Matthew. Take it in small bites, perhaps a chapter a day. When you have questions, ask your girlfriend what *she* thinks things mean.

    By the time you get to the end of the book, you will at least understand your girlfriend better, and you will have a much better idea of whether you would want to be married to her.

    If you prefer to read online, here is where I am suggesting you start:
    Matthew 1 - ESVBible.org

    ====

    Sorry, I hadn't seen your response yet, when I wrote the above. If you feel you have adequately researched what Christians believe, but that she has not, then perhaps you should ask her to read the Bible with you.
    Last edited by Philmont Scott; 11-28-2012 at 01:53 PM. Reason: Postscript

  2. #12
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    I discovered that when I went back to church (It's Colorado Springs, that's what you do, right?) I got everything from "I'm so proud of you" to *wince* "Really?" That told me who I probably did or didn't want to continue to have a conversation with. (Hint- it wasn't the one that was proud of me) I have been friends with people of lots of different religious persuasions, but being friends or even dating is not the same as the commitment of marriage.

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  3. #13
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    I am Christian and I actually served on the other side of your situation. I thought that it didn't matter very much that my ex was an atheist when we first started dating, but I found out later on that there were very deep issues that we couldn't agree on, and that neither of us would change for. That's when I realized that we weren't meant for each other, in that we couldn't sacrifice certain values that we held strongly for the other's own beliefs.

    By the way, I don't hold the Bible literally for every single word. I mean, all of the texts are what man transcribed from what God said. Shouldn't there be room for human error in that? I just believe in the core values of what the Bible preaches, and I feel that it liberates the soul immensely to believe in God.

    But different folks, different strokes. Just find the same folks next time and you'll be fine.

  4. #14
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    With me and the wife, it's simple, we never go to church except for the cultural events (baptism, weddings,confirmations, funerals) although both of our sons are baptized and will be confirmed should they wish so. Her parents say grace before dinner and that's about it.

  5. #15
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    i have imaginary friends, just not jesus.

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    There are a lot of people in the world who are moral and non-christian. I am not christian, and highly moral. Almost to the point of being truly annoying. Possibly beyond that point.

    I'm probably most closely buddhst, but I'm not that religious. I did pick up nichiren practice to have a liturgy to share with DS, but I mostly then adapted it to explaining the 4 noble truths. Also, we talk about everything in terms of myths/stories with all this stuff. I think buddhism holds an accessible philosophy -- and so that's why I teach it to my son.

  8. #18
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    My girlfriend is Catholic (she believes but doesn't attend church except for special occasions) and I am atheist. We have a standing agreement not to attempt to convert the other. We never argue religion an rarely mention the topic. Granted, we're not attempting to have kids together but still. Her twelve year old daughter agrees with her my eleven year old son seems atheist so far. As long as I'm allowed to believe as I will and not ridiculed for it I'll always be willing to do the same for anyone else. I don't see an issue there.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daemonized View Post
    My girlfriend is Catholic (she believes but doesn't attend church except for special occasions) and I am atheist. We have a standing agreement not to attempt to convert the other. We never argue religion an rarely mention the topic. Granted, we're not attempting to have kids together but still. Her twelve year old daughter agrees with her my eleven year old son seems atheist so far. As long as I'm allowed to believe as I will and not ridiculed for it I'll always be willing to do the same for anyone else. I don't see an issue there.
    I like this.

  10. #20
    oxide's Avatar
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    I believe that you don't choose a religion, a religion chooses you.

    Just started going to Universalist Unitarian myself. They seem to be Very Nice People. If anything, they aren't religious enough for me. No problem, I'll get my religiony stuff from having semi-paganish thoughts, and my human stuff from the UU's.

    If your GF simply says "a Christian" without a denomiation (protestant, methodist, lutheran), then she's probably fundamentalist and they don't seem to compromise well.

    It may help you to go to Beliefnet.com and take their quiz: Belief-O-Matic - Beliefnet.com

    It's a website commited to help people to choosing a faith (or having a faith choose them?).
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