just want to rant page

[girlhk]

My mom is bothered that my 17 month old daughter still breastfeeds a lot. She's constantly putting me down telling me I'm preventing her granddaughter from optimal growth, etc. It's true my dd is on the light side, but she's thriving and never sick.

Anyway, my mom consulted our family doctor, who advised her to give me infant breakfast cereals for my dd, so my dd can 'learn to chew'. Whenever she refers to my milk, she's very condescending.

My dd does eat very little compared to other babies. She really likes eggs, liver, meat, fish, and drink lots of water. I'm doing my best to keep people from feeding her cookies, candies, and desserts-- for some reason, everyone thinks its amusing to give babies these foods!

I know-- just ignore her, right! LOL! Just wanted to rant about it!

[jo]

Every woman and her dog will have a theory about what is best for babies. She's eating that's the main thing. I'd be feeding her a few more carbs than that though - lol see what I mean. I couldn't resist. Still there's plenty of lactose in breast milk I guess.

[Sandra in BC]

This is the ideal age to *offer* her a wiiiiiide variety of foods. I think as long as your mom sees you presenting lots of "normal" foods, she'll have less reason to be negative. I don't know the nature of your relationship with your mom or how often you see her, but if your visits are planned, you can set it up so that dd is self-feeding all the healthy "people" foods you put in front of her. And its perfectly fine to go longer between nursings, or skip a session altogether if the situation demands it. Nursing on demand can mean feeding till satisfied when the breast is available...it doesnt mean you have to whip your shirt up every time the kid looks sideways at your boobs Its YOUR body, and its ok to teach your child when the boob is appropriate and available, and when it's not. At 17 months, nursing is transitioning more to nurture over nutrition, and can go on for as long as its working for both of you. Your mom can pout all she wants, its not her body. But if she's driving you nuts, avoid putting yourself in situations where she can push your buttons.

[girlhk]

Every woman and her dog will have a theory about what is best for babies. She's eating that's the main thing. I'd be feeding her a few more carbs than that though - lol see what I mean. I couldn't resist. Still there's plenty of lactose in breast milk I guess.

I forgot to mention in my post-- she eats rice, idlis, dosas, bananas, dates.... way more than eggs and liver and meat. Those are staples in my husband's diet, and she likes to have whatever Papa is eating!

[zoebird]

The way I see it is this: if you are offering her foods and she eats what she wants, and then nurses besides, then that's a really healthy diet for a child her age. The WHO recommends that babies nurse between ages 2-5, and mongolians nurse their children up to age 9 or so apparently.

I would seriously not be at all concerned, personally -- sounds like your daughter is doing great!

And, tell you mom this: I really don't give a shit what you or your doctors think. This is my child, and I'm doing what I think is best. You can talk to anyoen else whom you want to about it, btu I dont' want to hear anythign else again. And if I do, I'll just get up and leave the conversation. understand? good.

And, I had to say this to both my mom and my MIL. And several friends. I'm pretty aggressive about it. LOL

[girlhk]

This is the ideal age to *offer* her a wiiiiiide variety of foods. I think as long as your mom sees you presenting lots of "normal" foods, she'll have less reason to be negative. I don't know the nature of your relationship with your mom or how often you see her, but if your visits are planned, you can set it up so that dd is self-feeding all the healthy "people" foods you put in front of her. And its perfectly fine to go longer between nursings, or skip a session altogether if the situation demands it. Nursing on demand can mean feeding till satisfied when the breast is available...it doesnt mean you have to whip your shirt up every time the kid looks sideways at your boobs Its YOUR body, and its ok to teach your child when the boob is appropriate and available, and when it's not. At 17 months, nursing is transitioning more to nurture over nutrition, and can go on for as long as its working for both of you. Your mom can pout all she wants, its not her body. But if she's driving you nuts, avoid putting yourself in situations where she can push your buttons.

Honestly, I thought that by 17 months, my daughter would be eating a lot more solids than she does. I know babies half her age who can eat 3x times the quantity of solids that she's eating. DD eats only few bites here and there, and I have yet to see her cry out of hunger or food. When she wants food though, she will point to it, or pick it off our plates. My husband also worried about the amount she's eating and gave me grief over it, but our daughter's good health made him change his mind and how he just let me do whatever.

In my parents' city, infant formula and breakfast cereals are aggressively marketed. Even the government does not do much to promote breastfeeding. Almost all doctors tell new mothers they don't have enough milk. My mother once invited a nurse over just to tell me that breastfeeding beyond 3 months is unnecessary and even harmful for my health.

Also my mother really believes that grains are healthy and egg yolks will kill you. In dd's younger months, I offered her fruits, vegetables like sweet potatoes, potatoes, carrots, etc, rice, broth, fish, egg yolks, and dd would eat these (she refuses all bottled baby foods and purees). My mom thought that she should be eating grains, and would buy packaged noodles and such products to induce her to eat. What happened was dd got constipated and a gassy baby fussing at night is no fun! So this makes me wary of too much grains in her diet, even though generally it's not the end of the world for me if she has some.

I know my mother means well and just wants best for her only grandchild, but... arghh!!

I'm also trying hard to lengthen time between nursing anyway, but so far it's not working so well.......

[girlhk]

The way I see it is this: if you are offering her foods and she eats what she wants, and then nurses besides, then that's a really healthy diet for a child her age. The WHO recommends that babies nurse between ages 2-5, and mongolians nurse their children up to age 9 or so apparently.

I would seriously not be at all concerned, personally -- sounds like your daughter is doing great!

And, tell you mom this: I really don't give a shit what you or your doctors think. This is my child, and I'm doing what I think is best. You can talk to anyoen else whom you want to about it, btu I dont' want to hear anythign else again. And if I do, I'll just get up and leave the conversation. understand? good.

And, I had to say this to both my mom and my MIL. And several friends. I'm pretty aggressive about it. LOL

Thanks zoebird! Always nice to be reminded that there's nothing wrong with offending others by standing up for what I believe it!

[Tribal Rob]

I'm sorry to be aggressive, but anyone who feeds, or tries to, anyone's child something againts their wishes needs to BACK THE FUCK OFF. It really offends me, YOUR CHILD - YOUR CHOICE.

In my group of friends there are vegans, nut allergies, kids who are scared to eat in public and barely eat any food, hard core paleo followers, us being primal, a vegitrian kinda primal person, egg intolerances, dairy intorlerance (we are an odd bunch)
So this comes up often and none of us would ever offer food to another child without Okaying with the parent. Everyone of them has extened breasfed, and none of us bats an eye at a 6 month old and a 2 year old tandom feeding, or 5 year old having a feed.

And I am fairly sure everyone's parents has tried to interfere at some point.

Ranting is good, you need to rant

[girlhk]

Tribal Rob, I sure wish there were such understanding people in our community!

[Tribal Rob]

We home ed and are lucky enough to have found a bunch of like-minded weirdos through that, I often forget how differnent we are to muggles untill I have to interact with them