Male Birth Control page 4

[Wanderlust]

I want the shot and an official hologramed card showing I get the shot.

I'm not getting snipped, I don't need any mini-Wanderlusts running around and condoms suck.

[BestBetter]

Also... for any guys fearing the vasectomy... my brother has had it done, uncle, husband, several other friends and family members... all of them zero complications and 'back in business' in just a few days.

Had to wait until they tested clean to 'fire at will' sans protection of course! But you know...

The pain was really minimal.
My husband says it was the best decision he ever made.

This is reassuring, and I'm sure that for most people who get this done, there are no complications or anything, but for those 2%, it must be hell, and my husband is really paranoid he'll be one of the unlucky few.

He did it because at 30, with an 11 yr old child and medical issues that meant I SHOULD NOT have any more children because of extremely high risk, the Gyn doctors gave me a huge hassle about wanting to get myself sterilized. I would have to sigh waivers, they wanted me to have a waiting period. The doctors were down right rude. My husband was appalled that I was treated as if I was incapable of making up my own mind on matters of my own reproductive health. This is actually pretty common. I've spoken to many women who were treated the same way... all by different doctors. It seems to be standard practice.
It's ridiculous. And this is even though it's easier to reverse a female tubal ligation. Or at least create a pregnancy via implantation later. Not that big a deal these days.
There is a huge issue with double standards in the medical community on this issue.
Husband had zero children, same age, and they had the paperwork and prescriptions already filled out when he showed up to be examined for his consultation. He came back one week later and *poof* vasectomy.

I never thought about it this way, but this is totally true. I've mentioned at various gyno appts over the years that I was interested in getting a tubal ligation (the only thing holding me back was being worried about messing with my body too much, same reason I stopped taking hormonal BC), and they were always talking me out of it, saying things like, 'oh, you never know, someday you might change your mind...' regardless of what I said.

Well actually, I do know that I will never change my mind about this thing. But a dude who wants a vasectomy, I doubt doctors try to talk them out of it the same way. Man, there's always one more thing to get outraged by!

[mikebike]

But a dude who wants a vasectomy, I doubt doctors try to talk them out of it the same way.

Your assumption is incorrect. I have a buddy who's single, has no interest in children or marriage and around age 40 attempted to get a vasectomy. You can't believe the shit they put him through. He had to go to several docs before he could find one that would perform the procedure.

[AlanC]

I've seen this discussed before and it always strikes me how women seem to get quite defensive and angry at the idea of men having reliable birth control that doesn't mean killing the fun with condoms.

Why the defensiveness and anger?



AC

[Blackcatbone]

I've seen this discussed before and it always strikes me how women seem to get quite defensive and angry at the idea of men having reliable birth control that doesn't mean killing the fun with condoms.

Why the defensiveness and anger?

What defensiveness and anger? The only thing I can see is women not trusting that the man would A: be telling the truth or B: taking it seriously enough if it wasn't a permanent solution in a long term relationship. As long as women are the ones getting pregnant they do need to be that careful about contraceptive methods. My boyfriend had a vasectomy long before I met him and I couldn't be happier about it. Not only do I not have to worry about getting pregnant but he never wanted children (nor do I) and he never accidentally had any, meaning I don't have to deal with his kids. Win/win.

[Owly]

I've seen this discussed before and it always strikes me how women seem to get quite defensive and angry at the idea of men having reliable birth control that doesn't mean killing the fun with condoms.

Why the defensiveness and anger?



AC

Not sure where you got that from considering the number of women on this thread who've said it sounds like a great option for guys to have.

Have you not realized that condoms kind of suck for us too? It's not just men's pleasure that they affect. I was delighted when my relationship reached the point that we felt comfortable ditching condoms in favour of other birth control methods.

However, I'd rather have condoms than an STI, and if you don't have a monogamous partner who's clean and who you trust not to bring anything home, then wrapping it up is just common sense. Reminding people that preventing pregnancy doesn't necessarily prevent syphilis, HPV, chlamydia, HIV, gonorrhea, herpes...yeah, that's not defensive and angry, that's just plain common sense.

I have worked as a sexual health educator, and looking at the stats, if I was a single person (male or female) out having sex with multiple partners, you can bet I'd be concerned about more than just pregnancy. We have a syphilis epidemic in this city, and while yes, it's treatable, I think it's smarter not to catch the disease in the first place.

[AlanC]

Well, just skimming the previous page, three different women chip in to assure us how they'd never (ever) trust us men with birth control, even one that's permanent until deliberately reversed.

I really, honestly, cannot imagine a bunch of men diving into a thread about a new form of women's birth control, declaring how they wouldn't trust the women to use it?

Just so you know -- I would never trust a male who tells me that he's got birth control covered.

Exactly.

I totally agree with this.

Of course we can all agree that one should take responsibility too, without relying on the person you trust enough to have sex with - yet isn't that the entire point of this new contraceptive option for men?

That they could USE it, and therefore TAKE that responsibility?

Yet your first response is to tell men you wouldn't trust them? Well thanks for that, but I guess us men will use it just the same.



Sheesh.



AC

[JoanieL]

Your assumption is incorrect. I have a buddy who's single, has no interest in children or marriage and around age 40 attempted to get a vasectomy. You can't believe the shit they put him through. He had to go to several docs before he could find one that would perform the procedure.

I think doctors just let the whole God-thing turn them into contrary assholes. I've known both sides, i.e., women who wanted to get their tubes tied but were discouraged, and women who felt they'd been rushed into hysterectomies before alternatives were tried. And now I see they pull this crap on men.

Maybe the trick is to go to the doc and say, "Please don't sterilize me, anything but that!" and see what happens.

[canio6]

I really, honestly, cannot imagine a bunch of men diving into a thread about a new form of women's birth control, declaring how they wouldn't trust the women to use it?

Well, I would be the first man to say I wouldn't take a woman's word for it. If it was someone I was in a committed relationship then fine, but some random chick on the street? Hell no. You'd be a fool to believe her. And as others have said, I don't care if you have a note from 3 doctors saying you are on some kind of birthcontrol, unless the same notes also state you are STD free I'm putting a condom on. As for hating condoms, well, I think I would hate fire shooting out of my dick more than wearing a condom.

[Blackcatbone]

Well, just skimming the previous page, three different women chip in to assure us how they'd never (ever) trust us men with birth control, even one that's permanent until deliberately reversed.

I really, honestly, cannot imagine a bunch of men diving into a thread about a new form of women's birth control, declaring how they wouldn't trust the women to use it?







Of course we can all agree that one should take responsibility too, without relying on the person you trust enough to have sex with - yet isn't that the entire point of this new contraceptive option for men?

That they could USE it, and therefore TAKE that responsibility?

Yet your first response is to tell men you wouldn't trust them? Well thanks for that, but I guess us men will use it just the same.



Sheesh.

But it's STILL women who would get pregnant if something went wrong. If it's a semi/permanent form in a committed relationship then I think most women are quite comfortable with that option. I'd love to see a show of hands from the women who've been with a guy who's said something along the lines of "Come on baby, I hate condoms, I promise to pull out on time" or any other excuse that is a pretty good indicator that a whole lot of men are less serious about their contraceptive methods when the opportunity for sex arises.* What if it's a pill they take daily and forget a day or two? What if they lie? If men want to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies, great, I think that's a fantastic thing, but outside of a committed relationship where both parties trust each other I see it as a recipe for disaster for many women.


*By no means do I think all men are like this nor that all women would fall for it.