Still on the Warpath: Naiadknight's Battle Tome page 74

[naiadknight]

Hmm... my chili is apparently REALLY lean. 1 cup of this stuff is all of 203 cal, 6 g carbs, 11 g fat, and 20g protein, and 2 cups will leave you stuffed if you top it with cheese.
(MFP claims 225, but that's including the alcohol that boils off in the slow cooker.)

[naiadknight]

Yesterday I had half a medium Bizzard. That's enough sugar for me for a good long while.
My middle sister is worrying me. I believe she may have gotten involved with some cult or fanatic outreach church while in prison. She's eating prison food and probably gets very little exercise. Her entire letter to me had a very cultlike sound. She's dropped her ADHD meds (whether or not that means she can control herself, I do not know), and refuses to get treatment for a possible thyroid condition or hypoglycemia. She's "turning everything over to Jesus." I can understand faith and such, but as impressionable as she is, this scares me. I honestly wonder if she's managed to land herself in a cult or cult like church and doesn't see it. She's very much like the frog and the pot: if the water's cool enough when she gets in, she'll happily boil alive and not notice it. That's how she ended up in jail, that's how she got kicked out of her middle school. She's talking about how she's learned responsibility for her own actions and wants to go back to college. I want her to do that, but I don't trust this cultlike fanaticism she has. I think this will boil down to watching and waiting. This is the kid I failed as a "parent" (I'd say an age gap of only 2.5 years had more to do with that than anything.) I want her happy, but her letter scares me. She's due up for parole, and could get out either in May or a year from now.

[geostump]

Sorry to hear about your sister. You can't say you "failed" as a parent with her. The age difference is so close, I think that could have been most of the issue. Not enough difference to be really authoritative. Are you able to visit her while she's locked up or is that something you don't want to do? Maybe a visit from family is what is needed here?

[naiadknight]

Sorry to hear about your sister. You can't say you "failed" as a parent with her. The age difference is so close, I think that could have been most of the issue. Not enough difference to be really authoritative. Are you able to visit her while she's locked up or is that something you don't want to do? Maybe a visit from family is what is needed here?

I can. I haven't. Part of it is that she was/ may still be a very toxic person, to the point that I was selfishly glad she went in, so that she was out of my life. I do need to go visit her. She's a 6 hr drive away (in San Antonio) and because of visiting hours, I'd hafta drive down Friday and get a hotel, which is my main excuse. My real reason is more that I really want nothing to do with her ever again. I won't get that, because she'll be staying with my folks when she gets out, so I'll hafta see her at least for Thanksgiving when she gets out. I dunno. I burn that bridge when I get to it.

[geostump]

Understandable. Sometimes it's better to have put your limits up so that way you know you boundaries. Like you said, you'll burn that bridge when you have to. She's always going to be your sister no matter what and like any good sister, you'll always worry about her. I understand this on both fronts.

[canio6]

Sorry to hear about your sister, but honestly, if I had a parole hearing coming up, I'd find Jesus, Budha, Cthuhlu, and whomever else might make me look safe enough to let out. Hopefully she gets she shit together without joining a cult. BTW you didn't fail shit. You are her (slightly) older sister, not her mom.

[naiadknight]

Cano, I'm hoping that's what it is. I still don't trust her- she's a poisoned well. She'll hafta do better than finding god to fix that.

[Siobhan]

Tough thing with the sis. I have a pretty rocky relationship with my sisters - we are such different people and we have all failed each other in visceral ways. We are trying to get to the point where if one of us dies, the others won't feel like there is too much stuff unresolved. Don't know if we can get there!

[naiadknight]

I honestly think I'd have mixed emotions if she croaked- partially relief and partially grief. I want to give her another chance, but every chance I've ever given her has blown up in my face. Twice burned, three times scared. I may write her a generic letter via my parent's address (I don't want her knowing where I live) and see what happens.
I think my body now responds more appropriately to sugar than it once did. I had half a medium Blizzard and a slice of cheesecake this weekend. Both times, I developed a hell of a headache. The one from the cheesecake is still there. Neither was over 40g of carbs total. If that's not incentive to stay away from sugar, I dunno what is.

[naiadknight]

The headache finally cleared off after Aleve was taken during the afternoon.
Had a taco salad for lunch (minus that infernal fried bread bowl and the nasty olives) and chili dogs for dinner (well sausages topped with chili.)
Today was hectic as hell at work. I'm now fielding customer calls as well as doing my job. I don't like it. I like it when my phone doesn't ring because then I don't hafta deal with the public and clients directly. I also worked a few miracles and managed to stop time, nothing major. Glad the day's over.