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Thread: Still on the Warpath: Naiadknight's Battle Tome page 246

  1. #2451
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Kid still hasn't shown up to class. I wager he's been skipping (his attendance was never spectacular to start.) I'll cross that bridge when I get there.
    Tomorrow and this weekend, I get to grade and make parent phone calls ("Johnny is in danger of failing my class because he doesn't do his damn work or study" and "Johnny is a disruptive jackass" phone calls.)
    I think I will also fast through lunch tomorrow. Before you get onto me about NEEDING those calories, hear me out. The past couple days, I haven't eaten particularly well. Pizza for dinner last night and pizza for lunch today. I skipped dinner because I was still overfull and in gas pain from lunch. I need to get that crap out of my system (run the tank dry) so I can refuel the system (with good gas.) I realize I won't get it all out with a 30 hr fast, but it's a long way from watering down good gas with bad.
    On another note, I'm STILL ramping up my HCl intake at meals. I'm at 1950 mg HCl so far, and no sign of warmth. I worrying that I may just not recognize the feeling for what it is, although I know people take upwards of 10 (6.5g)at a meal (god, I hope I'm not one of those.)
    Speaking of god.... the intimacy thing also covered intimacy with a higher power/ god. My intimacy with Hesheitthey has never really developed. The god I knew as a kid was vengeful to the point of being a drunken jackass. You don't get intimate with the god that wants to punish you for existing. Even now, I can do the lip service, I can do the acknowledgement and requests for help. Getting intimate and opening up to a deity: the agnostic/ atheist in me rebels at the very idea. It circles back to needing to do it on my own because I've ALWAYS had to go it on my own. The theory goes that if I can trust god, I can trust people. I have a handful of people I trust. I trust them with everything. I still haven't figured out how to disentangle the retaliatory/ vengeful god I knew from the one I'm creating now. I actually have a painting/ drawing idea in that vein. Trusting god is... well, I can't trust a stranger.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  2. #2452
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    badgergirl is online now Senior Member
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    Re relationship with a deity: I'm recommending this book to everyone, but well... you might find something of value in it. She's a Catholic and her perspective is deeply informed by that, but to my surprise I have not found that to be alienating. It's possibly the best book I've read in years.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  3. #2453
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    I finally broke my thrifting resolution. Granted, I bought the new skirt on eBay for about what I would have paid (or less) in a consignment shop, so I'm not sure I actually broke it in any way except a technicality. I like to think I'm still in the spirit of the Thrift Year.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  4. #2454
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    jenn26point2 is offline Senior Member
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    I have no input regarding the diety stuff.

    I do suspect that if the student had done anything more than just skip school, your other students would have told you since they already opened up to you about his thought process.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




  5. #2455
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Well, the kid showed up today. I got the lab going and pulled him aside. He's either putting up a good front or was having a good day. After I got done talking, I invited him to tell me what he thinks I may need to know. "I'm sorry, man, I was being a dick that day. Thanks, though. Thanks a lot!" We seem to be back on an even footing and he seems to be back to the kid I knew, what little I did know him.
    As to the deity thing, I've decided to go at it a different direction: awareness meditation. What that means is actually SEEING the world. Hearing the birds, feeling the ground, seeing the pattern in the leaves and watching traffic patterns. Not just seeing the big stuff, but seeing the little stuff and finding the love in it. Take this morning. I saw a little bird standing on a pipe while I was at a light. He was surrounded by oilfield equipment and hopping around in a circle, back and forth, on the pipe, chirping. He was obviously hunting for something, seemingly another bird, maybe a mate. I turned the radio off and listened to the road and surroundings on my way home. It's little things, but they help me feel closer to god.
    Dinner is jambalaya. I'm doing another take, less garlic with green onion instead of onion and red bells instead of greens. This makes it FODMAP friendly.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  6. #2456
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    The jambalaya came out well. I think I even like this version better.
    I may have made a mistake, but we'll see where it goes. In a fit of rebuilding bridges, I unblocked my middle sister on fb. She sent me a birthday card (mushy as hell, but it was an attempt), so I'll try to rebuild those bridges, a step at a time. Right now, that step is unblocking her. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I really haven't had much interaction with only her since she got out; and what I have had kept those old rage fires burning. Not necessarily from her actions or words, but more from her still existing and breathing my air. I'm trying to drop the old grudges, one at a time.
    Also, I'm going to do something here in a bit I haven't done in years: call my Mom just to talk, no birthday, anniversary, or anything like that. Trying to strengthen that bridge from a shaky little tightrope line, y'know?
    Last night I tried something on a whim. I took a green tea bath and scraped the hell out of my calluses. I even broke open the bags and used the green tea as a scrub. After I got out, I put Vaseline and homemade Vick's (a gift from a friend) on my feet and socks on top of that. Guys, yesterday you could use my feet to shred carrots. Today, they're soft and smooth. I can also breathe again. Score one for the old remedies!
    As the to deity thing, I finally came up with what my faith/ deity relationship is: deist Buddhism. Deism sums up what I believe rather nicely and Buddhism sums up my approach to life rather nicely. I think I'm okay not having a personal god. God is the Universe (something I've long believed) and I am part of God. Life is suffering and the only way to end suffering is to end wants and expectations, which is where it plays in to Al- Anon.
    Off to go thrifting.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Latest Journal

  7. #2457
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    Nice one reaching out with your bridges. I am pretty bad at maintainig them myself, though I know distance has certainly made them stronger. Weird huh?

    I think I could maybe consider myself a druidic deist catholic. Whut?? Hey, if they can do it with voodoo and confucianism, I can lol.

  8. #2458
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    In terms of bridges, I even spoke with Mom on the phone today just to talk.
    Fixed two work tees. Took them from a men's small and kid's large to an X small baby doll cut.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Latest Journal

  9. #2459
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    Rather proud of dinner. I misplaced my summer roll wraps, but I already had everything chopped and thawed.
    Meet the deconstructed summer roll salad:
    Last edited by naiadknight; 03-31-2014 at 04:43 PM.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Latest Journal

  10. #2460
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    Looks yummy! I'm glad the student has come back, but the sudden "mood change" is kind of alarming...
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)




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