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Thread: Still on the Warpath: Naiadknight's Battle Tome page 197

  1. #1961
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    The cleaning jag, while good on the surface, is indicative of something going on internally. I generally only willingly clean if I'm frustrated, trying to distract myself, procrastinating, or all 3. I'll keep doing it, because it keeps the forebrain busy while the back burners ramp up to high on whatever it is they're processing.
    Tasha, if I had the disposable money for gas or plane tix, my ass would out there ASAP.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #1962
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Tasha, if I had the disposable money for gas or plane tix, my ass would out there ASAP.
    <3 Someday!
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #1963
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    I'm glad you have someone like The Mentor in your life. Sounds like someone we should all have in our lives. Maybe this something the Universe wants you to start doing to help you find your place in the world.
    Georgette

  4. #1964
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by geostump View Post
    I'm glad you have someone like The Mentor in your life. Sounds like someone we should all have in our lives. Maybe this something the Universe wants you to start doing to help you find your place in the world.
    I do wish more people had someone like Mentor. She's awesome, kinda like an older version of myself that's been through it all and is on the other side. I'm hoping she can help. Our first meeting is Monday.

    I continued the cleaning jag. There was something urging me on, demanding I keep myself busy, keep the forebrain occupied with cleaning. I still haven't had the epiphany something like that usually hatches, but it'll appear. Kitchen's spotless (aside from mopping), as are both living rooms and the entryway. I cleaned the doors, including the front screen door, and cleaned the front window and plantation shutters. I even cleaned the baseboards and fireplace mantel.
    Still the epiphany is missing.
    No call from the place I interviewed. Somewhat depressing, but maybe it wasn't the right match.
    I got a call from a headhunter in sister city. They have a couple of places they want to try me at, and want an interview Monday. We'll see where that leads.
    I tried the Tarot deck earlier. Answers, but not enough of them. More of the same.
    I need to let this go and let the Divine/ let other people help.
    I'm reasonably calm, but anxious and unable to let it go. My mind is gnawing around the edges of whatever it is, but won't let it go long enough to pick it off.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #1965
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I never did get my epiphany, but I did relax some. Now to tutor Kid and set some boundaries with her parents. I really shouldn't hafta tell people that Saturday morning tutoring needs to be confirmed Friday, especially if Saturday tutoring may or may not happen. Telling me at 0830 that you want me there by 10 doesn't really work, especially since I sleep with earplugs in.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #1966
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Crap. While weight and inches lost are good, shrinking out of the pants and belt are not an option right now. I might have 2 smaller pairs of jeans hiding in my seasonal/ "measurement clothes" bin. If they fit and fit well, I'm smaller than I was in college.
    *Interlude and crappy hold music*

    Umm... Guys? They fit.


    They fit better than they did sophomore year when I bought them and was 10- 20 lb lighter than I currently am.
    The other pair of measurement jeans were bought just after college. They're too big as well.
    The last pair doesn't fit right. As low rise as they are, and with the hips I have, I think I'll always have spillover. They button and zip, which, considering that at this point last year I couldn't even get them halfway up my thigh, is a total win.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #1967
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    My mother scared me earlier. She sent me a text asking me which antique cedar chest I wanted, my grandmother's or great grandmother's, giving me first dibs. This sort of thing is usually indicative of her depression leading her towards being suicidal. Cautious, I told her which one I'd prefer. She then asked me what else I'd want. Right as I was freaking out and about to call Dad, she sent me a text explaining that Dad and their lawyer had been after her to make up a will. Oh.
    Anyways, it looks like mom is giving me first dibs on stuff in the house, because I'm the eldest and have my own place. Thing is, Geek and I already have a full set up, almost.The only stuff I requested was sentimental (the dining room table was my other great grandmother's, the hope chest, my grandfather's hat, my parent's bed frame, the avocado green chinaware....) I think from Dad I'll ask the (Dadmade) wine cabinet and some of the other stuff he made.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #1968
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    Looking good in those jeans, Naiad!

  9. #1969
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    Thanks, Sabine!
    I redirected my Al Anon energy. I figured not all of y'all wanted to read a wall of text of how I'm unfucking myself everyday, and it being in this journal did none of my Al- Anon/ ACOA co-sufferers any good. I created a blog about it. I'll post when I update it, but this blog needs to be more about the primal path, not my mental healing via another way path.
    Step 1, Part 1
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #1970
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    Looking good in those jeans, Naiad!
    Yes, looking great though I needed to wake up to realize it. My first thoughts were "Naiad looks so small. Wait, is she standing in a window? Why does the window have a shower curtain? Wow, I am an idiot..."

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