Page 1 of 15 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 141

Thread: for shits and giggles page

  1. #1
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
    NZ primal Gwamma is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    4,184

    for shits and giggles

    Primal Fuel
    no reason - other than to put a smile on your dial !!!!!!!
    yep that was really cheesy !!!!!


    how to start a fight



    The Unreasonable Mother-in-law
    One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
    The next year, I didn't buy her a gift and when she asked me why, I replied,
    "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
    And that's when the fight started...
    The Unreasonable Wife
    My wife and I were watching 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
    'No,' she answered.
    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
    And that's when the fight started...
    The Humour-less Wife
    I took my wife to a restaurant.
    The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
    He said, "Aren't you worried about the ‘mad cow’?"
    "Nah, she can order for herself."
    And that's when the fight started...
    The Misinformed Wife
    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
    I asked her, "Do you know him?"
    "Yes", she sighed,
    "He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
    "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
    And that's when the fight started....
    The Dangerous Wife
    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer; always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
    When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
    The Lazy Wife
    My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
    She asked, "What's on TV?"
    I said, "Dust."
    And that's when the fight started...
    The Humourless Husband
    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
    I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
    My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
    And that's when the fight started...
    The well rounded Wife
    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
    I bought her a bathroom scale
    And that's when the fight started...
    The Masochistic Husband
    My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
    I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
    And that's when the fight started...
    Last edited by NZ primal Gwamma; 11-20-2012 at 01:06 AM.
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  2. #2
    counterpuncher's Avatar
    counterpuncher is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    N.J.
    Posts
    285
    Lol.
    Awesome.
    Thanks for the laugh.

  3. #3
    katemary's Avatar
    katemary is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    571

  4. #4
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
    NZ primal Gwamma is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    4,184
    A man went into a busy restaurant and sat down at the only empty table.
    As he sits down, he accidentally knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow.
    The waiter immediately takes a spoon from his pocket and places it on the table.
    The man was extremely impressed by the promptness of the service and asks
    “Do all the waiters carry a spoon in their pockets?”
    The waiter replied “we had an efficiency expert evaluate our operation and he determined that 25% of the customers knock the spoon off their tables and so by carrying a spare spoon on us, we save a trip to the kitchen and can be much more efficient”.
    Later as the customer asked for his bill he remarked to the waiter
    “Excuse me, but why do you have a string hanging from your fly?”
    The waiter answered, “That efficiency expert determined that we were spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the toilet, so the other end of this string is attached to my penis, and when I go to the bathroom, I simply use the string, and never having touched myself, I don’t need to wash my hands.”
    The customer asks “then how do you get your penis back in your pants?
    The waiter replies, “I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon”!
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  5. #5
    JoanieL's Avatar
    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    It's not the heat, it's the stupidity.
    Posts
    7,540
    LOL to both!

  6. #6
    Lewis's Avatar
    Lewis is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    2,346
    We went to the marriage guidance counsellor. The suggestion was to spice things up with some fantasy. When we got home, my wife said: "Right, I'm an Ancient Roman noble lady and you're my slave." She made me clean the house from top to bottom.

  7. #7
    Louisa655's Avatar
    Louisa655 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Planet Earth
    Posts
    795
    Really appreciated the humour today -- more than you'll know! Thanks/Lu
    ----------------------------------------
    F, 48, 5'10"
    Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
    Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

    Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

  8. #8
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
    NZ primal Gwamma is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    4,184
    Quote Originally Posted by Lewis View Post
    We went to the marriage guidance counsellor. The suggestion was to spice things up with some fantasy. When we got home, my wife said: "Right, I'm an Ancient Roman noble lady and you're my slave." She made me clean the house from top to bottom.
    I so hope that you had the whole loincloth, oiled body thing going on !!!!!!!!
    and yes - pics would be great, it would make this old Gwammas day !!!! LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by Louisa655 View Post
    Really appreciated the humour today -- more than you'll know! Thanks/Lu
    more to come !!!!!!
    totally not primal but laughing is !!!!!!!!!!
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  9. #9
    JudyCr's Avatar
    JudyCr is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,168
    Fabulous.. Saving for a treat for fam after turkey day dinner. Thx!

  10. #10
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
    NZ primal Gwamma is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    NZ
    Posts
    4,184
    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    5 Secrets of a perfect relationship

    1. It’s important to have a woman who cooks, cleans and has a job.
    2. Its important to have a woman who makes you laugh
    3. It’s important to have a woman you can trust and who would never lie.
    4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed and likes being with you.
    5. It is absolutely imperative that these four woman should never meet.
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

Page 1 of 15 12311 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •