Kymma, Kisses are my only sugar - Journal page 21

[Pebbles67]

So sorry. Hugs from me too.

[Kymma]

220

Today I realize I am not surrendering, not letting go. I am not in the moment, I am living in the past and future and letting it twist me into a pretzel of negative emotion and thoughts.

‎"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present." ~Lao Tzu

I am not following the goals given to me by my guide and agreed upon. So today I am reading about letting go. Let Go of Control: How to Learn the Art of Surrender | Tiny Buddha

I am a control freak, controlling, pressuring, sometimes mean as hell. And not trusting. I must trust my love, the universe, and my partner. For my sake. Control is leading to anxiety and depression. It always has, it always will.

My work is to let go, trust and stay in the moment. Today everything is fine. Today is here and now and all. Suffering is caused by my resistance to all of these things.

Wish me luck!

[namelesswonder]

That quote is incredibly accurate!

Good luck!

[geostump]

Sending hugs and love too.

[NZ primal Gwamma]

Darling Kymma - firstly huge Gwamma hugs from way over yonder...........
and secondly - what ever decision you make - sleep on it. Often things take on a whole new meaning following a good nights sleep.
Take very good care
G x

[Kymma]

227

Weekend binge on candy and cookies, yes, dreaded gluten. I was in punishment mode with food. It was going to happen, I knew it was. Some sort of mercury retrograde is over and maybe this week will be less churning and upheaval.

I go to a work weekend with some cool people who normally inspire me in the middle of nowhere bum fuck Louisiana. I am thinking a long walk down a dirt road. It should be nice, and I am driving down, so I will bring a cooler with food. Maybe some actual distance between me and my problems will help me. I know getting on the stage and inspiring people to see their lives and possibilities differently will help me.

I am only logging exercise on MFP this week, and maybe weight. I need to get back in my body and FEEL better. I am not allowing that, I am all mind.

[Pebbles67]

Been There, Done That. I feel for you. Sometimes food comforting/punishment is inevitable. Soon you will be back on like it never happened.

[geostump]

I think we've all had days where using food as comfort/punishment is inevitable and helpful. Mine was real pizza. I'm thinking of making a couple of the cream cheese deep dish crusts and freezing them for when this happens with me.

[Kymma]

OMG, cream cheese deep dish crusts? That sounds great.

I regret the wheat today, it does hurt the ole belly. Oh well, it's a new day and I'm feeling pretty decent.

[Kymma]

Sushi for lunch actually soothed my belly a bit, thank you ginger.

Back to the grocery tonight, healthy food, easy to make, and all of that jazz.