Kymma, Kisses are my only sugar - Journal page 2

[Kymma]

I use KAL stevia for everything. the Zero Carb'ers will tell you that you cannot ever have sweet, but i find true stevia supports my goals and my way of life.
to date i have found no substitute for KAL stevia, the rest all seem to have something else added.

Good Hunting Kymma

Thanks Q! I am just not ready to take off the final training wheels of stevia right this minute. I am using 365 stevia and for now, it helps me out a little. I will take off the sweet training wheels in time, it is better than going on a binge.

I am already want to cut out the cheese bc of breast cancer risk. I just feel like I need to layer all of these changes.

And I am not going to make anymore coconut oil candies for a bit and just have tea with a drop of stevia and cream when I get a little sweet tooth.

[Kymma]

Oh yeah, food for today:

B: Broccoli, salami, egg and cheese "quiche", 3 cups of coffee with cream and a coconut oil treat (trying to get rid of them!)

L: 2 boar's head natural casing hot dogs with yellow mustard, 1 1/3 cup spinach with red wine vinegar, string cheese

I hope to go to dinner with my mom tonight, bc I would like a piece of salmon with some steamed veg and to not have to cook.

[Kymma]

I did end up having salmon, steamed broccoli, and a wee bit of salad that my Mom was having. I also only had one of those coconut oil cocoa candies and only have one left! I am not making anymore of those for a bit.

So I thought I had my career life and my trajectory all figured out for the time being. I was ready to head towards my next educational goal, keep putting things into place strategically, and somewhat autopilot my way to the next stage in my career. BOOM! I am contacted by a recruiter from 6 months ago for a recently opened new job in the same position. And yes, I know this is good news. I'm just a damn planner, and when my plans go awry, well, I get anxious. So I am boldly exploring this new opportunity with the feeling behind it that maybe something is in store for me that I haven't dreamt yet, or that maybe I can use this strategically in a way that hasn't become clear yet.

Quote of the day: "I envy the tree, how it reaches but never holds." - From The Book of Awakening: Having the Life you Want by Being Present to the Life You Have. Mark Nepo

I am such a seeker, always reaching, trying to figure out how to grow, and always digging deeply, sending my roots down deeply into the black earth of my soul to try to find meaning and purpose. It's been a staggering few years of personal growth and I'm a little weary. There are times I wish I could turn off the old brain and just be. I do not think that will ever happen though, because I am just not that kind of person.

[shelynne62]

Kymma,

Great food choices. It's good to see what other's are eating, gives me ideas for meals. I still feel pretty new to all this although I have been dabbling for over a year.

I am going to update my stats on Fridays to coincide with the success story...thought I could celebrate my little success'. I am going to be measuring too because I know there will be some weeks I won't lose anything.

We are going to do this, one day at a time, kicking, screaming, swearing and supporting each other ALL the way!

[Kymma]

We are going to do this, one day at a time, kicking, screaming, swearing and supporting each other ALL the way!

We are! And I need the support. Last night I got given candy and cookies at an trade show event and brought it home for the hubs. He was eating the best looking cookie (have had one cookie since April and it sucked) and I had a moment of 2nd thought. Then I told myself, there will be delicious cookies in the world when I am healthy and when indulging isn't dangerous anymore. Wait for it! I know with the holidays I will have more of those. No sugar for 6 months, it isn't that long right. Before I know it will have been 6 months!

I keep thinking of that quote "A Year From Now You'll Wish You'd Started Today", I hope with support, mantras, praying, maybe some crying, I can make it through the holidays!

[Sabine]

I keep thinking of that quote "A Year From Now You'll Wish You'd Started Today"

I like this. A year looking forward looks so long; we think we have plenty of time. But looking backwards, it goes by so quickly. Just think if we had been doing what we meant to.

[geostump]

I'm allowing myself some sugar during the holidays. Its either that or lots of alcohol. Once we get past Thanksgiving, I pretty much begin to go into full fledged hatred of this time of year.

[shelynne62]

I know what you mean. For me once I start on those sugar cookies it is too late. It starts a storm of sugar cravings for me and I find myself out of control!

[geostump]

I don't get out of control. I'm pretty good at controlling it. I just don't like the season once we get past Thanksgiving. It's more of a personal thing.

[Kymma]

I'm allowing myself some sugar during the holidays. Its either that or lots of alcohol. Once we get past Thanksgiving, I pretty much begin to go into full fledged hatred of this time of year.

Girl, you are near your HS weight, allowances are to be made!!!

I will in the future, but this year all excuses are done. I have to soldier through this 6 months and not use food for pleasure and celebration. Not eating sugar, hell, not eating much but meat, makes me realize I had a problem. I was binging on candy or ice cream nightly. I got to get my mind right.

The holidays, meh, I'm just not a Christmas or winter person. Turkey day is cool, Christmas is yuck. We are always broke, it brings up stress about all kinds fo stuff and I end up tired, fatter, and depressed all through January and maybe February. This year we are only doing gifts for the under 18 kids in our family and just enjoying the visiting. I don't even decorate at the house, I'm such a grinch. lol

Food yesterday was 2 string cheese for brkfst (bad choice, not hungry), a cheeseburger (no bun of course) with bacon and a fried egg with steamed veggies for lunch, and pulled pork with franks red hot sauce and a salad and some cups of coffee with cream.

This morning I has something amazing, a cup of butter toffee coffee with a pat of butter, stevia, and cream. OMG sinful!