This is just expression of frustrations, I am not deeply upset, just surface irritable. But I am experiencing burn out in my job. I have done all I can do to address the situation for over 2 years. Everyone that performed 1/3 of my role burned out, couldn't perform, or quit in less than 2 years, I have been at it and taking on more and more since 11/09. I hope for some relief soon. I have told my boss on numerous occasions that we need to hire someone within a year. I think for my May performance review I want a meeting with both my boss and his boss. I am being held back because I am good, I am not being helped because I keep the balls in the air, and this is the last year I am going to sit idle and allow it. If it is not resolved quickly, I will find another job. I may anyway. I am underpaid, overloaded, and undervalued, and that can only go on for so long. Now with the hubs in a better place, I feel like I can spread my wings. The cool part is I am starting a program where I will meet and find new opportunities I never dreamed of. Maybe one will come up that will be a miracle I never even dreamed of. Or maybe I'll learn something about myself that changes the very way I live my life.
I am releasing all of this today, surrendering this job and its difficulties and doing the best I can with the resources I have. I will work with patience for myself and others, I will find the gems in the rocks, I will use this as an excavation site for my true purpose, and not worry about finding a new job. I will let life unfold for me.
I have also been feeling injustices and suffering more deeply lately. Instead of clamming up against it, I want to explore it. I am going to go to a meditation group and start reading some Pema Chodron and maybe playing with her Awakening to Compassion lessons. I know I am meant for something in this realm, to be a voice, to be a freedom fighter. I am working out what pebbles I can over in the landslide towards equality and acceptance. I always let my inability to be a boulder of change stop me from tossing pebbles.
I read a great article this morning, if you feel like introspective.
Seven Things to Soak Up in 2013. | Rebelle Society.