I had read this blog not long before I read your post. I don't know all of your story but the above quote from your original post made me think of some of the findings the experiment discussed in the blog. I hope it helps! I do think you are beating yourself up over this. Do you want to be healthy? Then love yourself first.
I guess, I have a screw lose somewhere, I just can't seem to adhere to strict diets at all. I always want everything.
Ancestral Weight Loss Registry - Blog
You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.
SW 215 lbs
CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
LW 172 lbs
GW 125ish lbs