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Thread: For those 60+ and not Christian...

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
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    I'm over 60, not Christian, and happy (I'm Jewish, not married now, have child, no grandchildren yet, if that has anything to do with answering the question).
    Last edited by liza; 11-04-2012 at 01:37 PM.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Santa Barbara
    The only reason I brought up children was that I haven't had anybody tell me that if I'm not married or not Christian I'd feel empty and lonely when I'm old, but I HAVE had someone tell me this about not having children. I think it's all BS that you will feel empty and lonely when you are old if you don't follow the typical path in life. Everyone must follow their own path and for a few of us, marriage and family and God aren't the path. It hasn't been my path.

    I go through periods now and then when life seems flat and empty. At this point in my life I now see that this is always what happens just before everything changes again. It's a necessary step. It sucks and when you are in it, it seems like it'll never end. But it does end. So I now just embrace and accept it and know that I'll soon be off on another adventure.

    I took a really good class once where we did lots of exercises to try to unlock our deepest longings and callings. We bought one book for the class called "Callings: Finding and Following and Authentic Life" by Gregg Levoy. I highly recommend this book. It was not just a career-oriented book.

    While reading the book and after doing the class it suddenly hit me that what was missing in my life was to go hike the Pacific Crest Trail, something I had always wanted to do since I was 10 years old. It turned out to be the most authentic experience I ever had, one of the most important things I ever did that actually "made the world a better place". Without trying, I touched so many people in so many ways out there I began to see that my hike wasn't even about me. It was something I was supposed to do to be a catalyst for a whole bunch of total strangers that I met along the way, a catalyst for change in their own life. It was an extraordinary thing. And I never would have gotten there had I not been really super miserable and empty and lost for about a year.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Not having children doesn't bother me.
    Not being married bothers to the point of ... well let's just say you don't want to know some of the thoughts I've had.
    Religion... yeah well, when one of them produces some actual evidence or holds my interest, then I'll think about it.
    But yeah, I'm pretty empty.
    5'0" female, 45 years old. Started Primal October 31, 2011, at a skinny fat 111.5 lbs. Low weight: 99.5 lb on a fast. Gained back to 115(!) on SAD chocolate, potato chips, and stress. Currently 111.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    New Zealand
    There is of course: emptiness is form, and form emptiness. (buddhist phrase)

    so, feeling empty is a good thing in some circles.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Birkenstocks & hairy arm pits.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Dallas/Fort Worth Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakura_girl View Post
    Sorry, I didn't realize there were traditions to do that.

    I am in my twenties, and I just actually broke up with my first boyfriend to whom I have been with for over half a year (hence the depressing posts...). He is atheist, and I am Christian, at least by upbringing. We make a pretty great couple; we can do many things together due to similar interests and lifestyle (he is not Paleo, but he thinks it has some merits; otherwise minimalism and practicality match to a T). However, he is very staunchly atheist until I can prove to him that Christianity is the way to go....which is ridiculous because I can't "prove" anything with belief-driven philosophy. I thought about marrying him, but I thought it would cause too much of a rift over time to make decisions based on my faith, and to also be disconnected by the part that I am working toward a life closer to God, when he isn't. Our life goals are too different, and I can see how my life may become unhappy over time because of this. And empty if we grew old with each other.

    Anyway, my decision was made, and I feel very sorry for him to have rejected him so quickly, and just sad for myself in general. I'll get over it, but what other great time to contemplate life's greatest rewards/pains than this?
    Good to hear what you are going through, though I'm sorry for the pain you are having. Hope it passes as it should, and you come out on the other side stronger.

    I think you were wise, if your life goals were so different.

    Awesome that you are thinking about being 60+ in a relationship when you are in your twenties.

    About the sharing first: I think it is accepted, if only because in our culture, sharing feelings is typically done among intimates, or as a 'proof' that you want to take a casual relationship into a more connected one. It is really an offering of trust to open and expose yourself that way. I'm impressed with this forum, that so many are willing to jump into these discussions. It makes them incredibly rich.

    Right now my husband and I are going through some hard times (with life, not each other) and it is only making our love stronger. But we had to get through a time or two when 'we' were our problem. Like anything, the tough part is figuring out if the situation is worth working on. For myself, I'm glad we did. We're in our 40s/50s and I am looking forward to being even more in love when we hit the 60s (and 90s!).

    Hope my first post wasn't too harsh. Sometimes when I reread them, what I thought was just concise, sounds mean.

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