Reindeers journal. Whoop-whoop!
It's been a while since I broke my diet this badly and once again I am rather abruptly reminded by why am I on it in the first place. I have been living with my grandmother for the past three days, celebrating her birthday, and have succumbed into the temptation of giving into cakes and candy. Symptoms are physical, and I feel bloated and full of stuff that I know won't leave my system for a couple of days after I get back on track. Mentally, it's much worse - I just feel like such a dark place. I've been having strange dreams that I can't remember, and my daydreams are out of control. They're so dark, it's insane. The thought 'It is very dark here' and 'there is twisted flesh' have been repeating itself in my mind like a broken record that just won't shut up, and I'm starting to consider my bright future as a script writer for psychedelic horror movies. I can feel a nightmare coming for me when I fall asleep tonight, IF I fall asleep tonight. Insomnia is a bitch. The worst part might just be that I will have trouble quitting the carbs again if I end up having sugar cravings in the few following days.
Oh, and I've been insanely thirsty, anxious, and got a fissured tongue out of it(toothpaste and warms drinks burns like a bitch, by the way). I've also been exhausted for the past few months, taking naps at odd hours and not feeling very rested when I wake up, adding up to me thinking that hey, maybe I've finally got that family-running fucking diabetes at the awe-inspiring age of fucking nineteen. Tested for it once. Came back 'probably negative'. In retrospect, I don't even know how a test sample can actually be 'probably negative'. Sods.
So summing it all up - hello everyone and welcome to the many entertaining joys of my life! I will hopefully be getting back into a ketosis diet once this little holiday to Lala land is all over. I probably won't record my diet here, because I never bother - but it might be an interesting place to angst about shit, writing crappy jokes, and following my fathers unholy foosteps upon the path of insanely dry humor.
Enjoy, ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy.