Getting off laxatives takes awhile and in general isn't a cold turkey process. When you've been helping peristalsis artificially for a long time, it takes the body awhile to get back to doing the job on its own. So, decreasing laxatives slowly is less painful than stopping all at once.
Fluids are important. Coffee does help some people, as does a mug of warm tea or soup. Maybe keep a food journal and have a code for days when you went more easily than other days? In that way you can see what foods or combinations of foods or even the timing of meals and how that affects you.
Maybe a gentle walk after big meals? Not strenuous exercise, just a 10 or 15 minute stroll.
If you are in the process of both changing your diet and decreasing your reliance on laxatives, you may have a little discomfort for awhile. Stressing about it may make it worse. Take a book in when you go. Don't worry about how long it takes you unless it is so excessive that it interferes with your life.
Eventually balance will be key. After relying on laxatives for a long period of time, it's normal to go for the one food, or fat, etc. that will get you to go. Because you've been relying on one thing (the laxative) for so long. It's a mindset.