It's awkward to spend holidays with people who can't cook when you are a good cook and come from a family where a holiday meal is special.
My inlaws..... the last christmas we had processed cheese and wonder bread sandwiches (we were vegetarian), and the meat eaters had some ham and turkey cold cuts. It was just pathetic. A few years earlier we had been to their relatives that had BBQ, pastas, ham, turkey, a whole spread. If you can't cook, aren't good at acquiring (ie, willing to hire caterers or buy food pre-cooked), don't host holidays.
Oh and talk about passive aggressive.... I made Thanksgiving for the in laws a few years ago- cedar planked salmon, potatoes au gratin, brussel sprouts, 2 kinds of pies, homemade bread, salad, cranberries, sweet potatoes and stuffing. They stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way to my house. I ended up calling a bunch of friends to come eat at the last minute.
Magnolia, that sucks! My boyfriend's mom is kind of like that, I think. Over the summer we were there for a bbq and they ran out of bottled sauce. I happily offered to make some bbq sauce (I make DAMN GOOD sauce) and no one answered me. Like I hadn't said anything at all. I repeated my offer multiple times but his grandparents ran to the store to get more sauce instead. It was really weird. Not even a "Thank you, but no, grandma and grandpa really like this specific sauce" or even just a "no thank you" would have sufficed. I think it might have been because I apparently offended her and grandma like 3 years ago when I said I didn't like something I didn't know one of them had made when I was asked about it. It was a potluck celebration and there were like 20 dishes. I didn't like the cherry bars and I guess that's me "going around and hurting people's feelings". What the hell? If you don't want my opinion, don't ask. I'm not going to lie to you.
Your thanksgiving dinner sounds AWESOME! I would LOVE to cook for them sometime, to give them a taste of what real food tastes like. I know Mom would get offended if I made something everyone liked better than hers though.
People just piss me of in general. They're not logical enough and women in their 50's+ should be secure enough in themselves to understand that not everyone is going to pander to your insecurities. I'm 27 and I know that. Christ.