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Thread: Certainly makes dating interesting page

  1. #1
    Pilatesmom's Avatar
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    Certainly makes dating interesting

    Primal Fuel
    Went out with some girlfriends last night and after chatting to a guy that seemed interested he tried to get me to consume a whiskey and coke. I told him I don't consume sugar and it would have to be diet, but that I truly prefer vodka/sodas. He thought that was weird, which I wouldn't drink regular coke before going Primal anyway, so he obviously doesn't talk to too many girls. Then he asked me which sub place was my favorite since I am from the East coast (living in Ohio). I said, well, since I don't eat bread, it doesn't really matter. That freaked him out. I said, I choose to eat mostly meat, veg and some fruit and dairy. He just didn't get it. I told him my dinner was a big, juicy steak at Brio - really good btw. That impressed him, a girl eating and loving a big steak, haha. So, as you can see, it just didn't work out overall. Other reasons too, but it would be great to find a guy that respects and enjoys the primal lifestyle too. Not that I'm perfect at it. Of course, I would not mind introducing an open-minded guy to it.

    Anyway, this just adds a new box on the checklist for someone - must be open to my primal lifestyle.

  2. #2
    zoebird's Avatar
    zoebird is offline Senior Member
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    I'm not sure why this would come up in a conversation really, or why you couldn't just answer in the obvious ways.

    I think you're doing a TMI. He's asking friendly, innocuous questions and you're up-ending them. It doesn't mean he wouldn't respect the way that you eat, I just don't think how you eat is good bar-conversation.

    Last time I dated, which is when I was 19 -- so a long time ago -- I didn't have a weird diet. But, I also ate in a very healthy manner, and as such, it was very unusual for 19 yr olds. guys would ask me about my favorite pizza place, and I would answer -- even though I rarely ate pizza. Guys would ask me which beers I liked, except that I didn't like beer, so I would mention a microbrew that was difficult to find. Guys would ask me how I liked my coffee and I've never liked coffee so I would say "in ice cream!" which is really the only way I have coffee flavored anything. LOL

    He's just looking for banter, not an in-depth explanation of your diet and nutritional preferences. If you get past the 'banter' stage and into a date, you can then make mention of restrictions or whatever, and you'd probably discover that he "respects" things just fine.

  3. #3
    Louisa655's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
    I'm not sure why this would come up in a conversation really, or why you couldn't just answer in the obvious ways.

    I think you're doing a TMI. He's asking friendly, innocuous questions and you're up-ending them. It doesn't mean he wouldn't respect the way that you eat, I just don't think how you eat is good bar-conversation.

    Last time I dated, which is when I was 19 -- so a long time ago -- I didn't have a weird diet. But, I also ate in a very healthy manner, and as such, it was very unusual for 19 yr olds. guys would ask me about my favorite pizza place, and I would answer -- even though I rarely ate pizza. Guys would ask me which beers I liked, except that I didn't like beer, so I would mention a microbrew that was difficult to find. Guys would ask me how I liked my coffee and I've never liked coffee so I would say "in ice cream!" which is really the only way I have coffee flavored anything. LOL

    He's just looking for banter, not an in-depth explanation of your diet and nutritional preferences. If you get past the 'banter' stage and into a date, you can then make mention of restrictions or whatever, and you'd probably discover that he "respects" things just fine.
    1000+++
    Totally agree. There is a science to dating -- it's a dance of flirtation and easy banter, accompanied by a smile and a hint of fun. As soon as you start going on about your 'special food diet' and 'I don't do this' and 'oh, I don't do that' -you come across as difficult, a kill-joy and high maintenance. Keep it light, easy, fun and keep the banter going. Why not ask him what his favourite restaurant is --- what kind of steak he likes best etc etc. An initial conversation is not about 'assessing' whether someone may or may not be open to your 'lifestyle'. Have fun, keep it light, and keep it simple. /Lu
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    Totally agree with zoebird. I'm learning how to bar flirt again and something I've noticed is that it's all about deflection anyways.

    So for me, "Let me buy you a whiskey and coke" gets answered with "I'm feeling crazy tonight - how about a vodka sprite?" He's going to either answer, "OK" or "Why is that crazy?" to which I reply something cute like - "Cause then I won't know how much vodka is really in it!" wink wink

    "So, what's your favorite sub place?" gets answered with "Some place with lots of meat." If I leave that hanging he's going to say something like, "Oh you like meat, do you?" to which I answer "All kinds."

    That may be a bit spicier than your style, but the point is by acknowledging that the reason he's asking these questions is not to get the answers but to have fun talking to you, you can let yourself not answer the questions - or turn them so that you're talking about something fun for both of you... like meat and meat!

    It's all about subtext. Have fun!

  5. #5
    Iron Fireling's Avatar
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    Maybe I am just stupid about dating/flirting (well yes I AM haha) but if a guy asked me my preferences, I would just answer honestly. I mean, if you mention your fave pizza place, and you don't EAT pizza, and you end up on a date with the guy, he might take you to THAT PLACE and then you've gotta explain to him that you don't eat pizza?! It makes little sense to me .

    I'd rather just say, "I don't eat pizza" or whatever.

    And if a guy offered me Whiskey and Coke I'd say "No thanks!" cause... yuck... I don't like it. If he offered me a drink, I'd ask for Vodka and something cause I can actually drink it without feeling nauseous .

    But maybe this is why I was never successful in the dating/flirting arena? I just never got it! But still, it seems to me that it's a bad idea to lie (even if it's just a white lie about food/drinks preference) when you're chatting to a guy and things could potentially go further. At least if you're honest then he'll know not to take you out for pizza/pasta etc. and if he truly doesn't "get it" then neither of you will waste time on getting to know someone better who you are possibly quite incompatible with.

  6. #6
    sbhikes's Avatar
    sbhikes is online now Senior Member
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    I guess I must be stupid, too. If someone asked me what my favorite sub place was, I'd rather not date him. If he asks me what my favorite steak place is or if I like fancy wine, then yeah, I'll consider it, if he's good enough for me.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
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  7. #7
    Saoirse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Fireling View Post

    But maybe this is why I was never successful in the dating/flirting arena? I just never got it! But still, it seems to me that it's a bad idea to lie (even if it's just a white lie about food/drinks preference) when you're chatting to a guy and things could potentially go further. At least if you're honest then he'll know not to take you out for pizza/pasta etc. and if he truly doesn't "get it" then neither of you will waste time on getting to know someone better who you are possibly quite incompatible with.
    ah, maybe therein lies the difference. I wouldn't see it as wasting time if we were both having fun.

  8. #8
    DCarr10760's Avatar
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    Maybe the male perspective is not needed here, but... I'd like to think I could find something more interesting to talk about than "what is your favorite sub place?"

    But it's been awhile since I was dating.
    Last edited by DCarr10760; 10-27-2012 at 06:16 PM. Reason: Spelling...I wouldn't date a poor speller...
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  9. #9
    Jena's Avatar
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    Who the hell says can I buy you a whiskey and coke? I've heard can I buy you a drink, or can I buy you a beer even, but a whiskey and coke seems oddly specific, lol? And if he already had purchased it... no way! Can you say roofie coolatta anyone!
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  10. #10
    seaweed's Avatar
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    I guess I must be stupid, too. If someone asked me what my favorite sub place was, I'd rather not date him
    lmao amen to that! i have been married to and also dated someone whose idea of good food was KFC. it gets to be very not fun. cooking 2 different meals. trying to fight the junk food culture away from your kids when the hider is already in your house is an uphill battle. you cant change people and part of the reason we have some many food issues these days it the lack of, i cant even think of the word, be we dont all sit down and eat together and the social aspect is ignored? so just like i would never date a vegetarian as it would lead to severe problems in the very near future, i would have to tread with extreme caution. as to bar flirting, most men in my age range who've been eating subway and drinking coke are not very hot anymore, i would never flirt with them in case they thought they stood a chance lol

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