Certainly makes dating interesting page 2

[kenn]

I'm a male and live in Dayton, Oh. If a chick goes all batty about her diet in the first conversation or makes it a point especially in the setting you gave, I'm out. Seems like you met a socially awkward guy and didn't dig him, were flattered with the attention and dragged him along. Bars are good for hooking up, not for dating.

Favorite sub place? I'd rather eat steak.
Whiskey and coke? Too sweet for me, prefer to enjoy my liquor.

[zoebird]

I'm sorry, guys, but you're now starting to sound like -- and please pardon the language -- fucking paleo princesses who want "respect" for your diet before the person even knows whether or not he wants to ask you on a date.

For chrissakes, it really doesn't matter at this point. It will matter when you decide you want to household. It does not matter before then. UNLESS he's aggressive about it (ie, trying to convince or force you to eat what you don't want to eat).

So lets talk about this a bit.

First, when you are in a bar, a person is getting to know what kind of person you are. If you are immediately rejecting someone who likes sub shops because you think he loves sub shops a lot because he asked you about sub shops, then you are a high maintenance princess. Secondarily, if you answer with "i don't eat bread." then you are being a snotty, high maintenance princess.

If you answer with "ah, you know, I've tried both Geno's and Pat's, but my preference is really for Rick's because of how they prep the steak for the cheesesteaks, so I guess that puts me into the Pat's category, technically, because Rick is in the Pat's family" this demonstrates that you are a smart chick who understands all things "guy awesomeness" in terms of what is culturally appropriate in that venue.

And after his mind is adequately blown, you can sneak in "but it's such a bummer that I can't eat bread anymore, because there's just nothing like a good sub." And then he'd say "oh, why not?" and you'd say "how else do you think I keep my ass looking this good?"

Then you get a compliment on your ass AND asked out on a date AND he asks where he can take you so that you can continue to have a good-looking ass which he hopes to get naked in the relatively near future if at all possible.

See, then he respects your diet because you're a hot fox who understands guy-talk and demonstrates that you are up for a good time.

Otherwise, you are just using your food preferences as another method of keeping people away from you, and you might as well go and start your cat collection, becuase your issues go way deeper than "the guy at the bar asked me about sub shops, so he's obviously disrespectful of my lifestyle."

No, he asked you about a sub shop as an introduction to talking about your ass.

Do not let your diet inhibit your sex life.

[zoebird]

Kenn, I'm so in agreement with you. I don't hang with a lot of yoga peeps because they always talk about how holy their effing diet is and how evil my diet is and how can I possibly "really" be practicing yoga and what not other clap trap. It's too much work.

I don't mind talking aobut diets in a science-y way, or a comparative analysis of different diets, or even cultural differences or personal differences or whatever. But DUDE, seriously?

I also agree with the idea of being able to find other things to talk about -- that is that the guy might have been socially awkward. It would be weird to be asked about my favorite sub shop -- though it's common in/around philly to be asked about your favorite cheesesteak because it's a point of civic pride and also it "tells" something about you. If you are a Geno's, you're this, if you're a Pat's you're that.

It's like yoga people asking what style you do. It would be weird to go to a bar and just ask a guy randomly "so, what kind of yoga do you do?" but if it comes up in conversation, you mght ask about styles and when you do, it does tell you about the person.

I think that it's also like asking someone if they prefer eagles or steelers. Oddly, I"m a steeler's girl, though I'm way into flyers over penguins. Weird, I know. But is does say something about me. And I can talk the live-long-fucking day about sports even though I don't watch them or really give a shit.

Mostly becuase I like talking to men. And, while I found a guy who doesn't care about sports either, I would never have let my lack of interest in sports if his interest was major get in the way of me getting LAID.

I don't understand why people arne't keeping eye on the prize here.

[Jena]

I'm sorry, guys, but you're now starting to sound like -- and please pardon the language -- fucking paleo princesses who want "respect" for your diet before the person even knows whether or not he wants to ask you on a date.

For chrissakes, it really doesn't matter at this point. It will matter when you decide you want to household. It does not matter before then. UNLESS he's aggressive about it (ie, trying to convince or force you to eat what you don't want to eat).

So lets talk about this a bit.

First, when you are in a bar, a person is getting to know what kind of person you are. If you are immediately rejecting someone who likes sub shops because you think he loves sub shops a lot because he asked you about sub shops, then you are a high maintenance princess. Secondarily, if you answer with "i don't eat bread." then you are being a snotty, high maintenance princess.

If you answer with "ah, you know, I've tried both Geno's and Pat's, but my preference is really for Rick's because of how they prep the steak for the cheesesteaks, so I guess that puts me into the Pat's category, technically, because Rick is in the Pat's family" this demonstrates that you are a smart chick who understands all things "guy awesomeness" in terms of what is culturally appropriate in that venue.

And after his mind is adequately blown, you can sneak in "but it's such a bummer that I can't eat bread anymore, because there's just nothing like a good sub." And then he'd say "oh, why not?" and you'd say "how else do you think I keep my ass looking this good?"

Then you get a compliment on your ass AND asked out on a date AND he asks where he can take you so that you can continue to have a good-looking ass which he hopes to get naked in the relatively near future if at all possible.

See, then he respects your diet because you're a hot fox who understands guy-talk and demonstrates that you are up for a good time.

Otherwise, you are just using your food preferences as another method of keeping people away from you, and you might as well go and start your cat collection, becuase your issues go way deeper than "the guy at the bar asked me about sub shops, so he's obviously disrespectful of my lifestyle."

No, he asked you about a sub shop as an introduction to talking about your ass.

Do not let your diet inhibit your sex life.

Lmfao... thank you for my first real laugh of the day

[seaweed]

when you have choices you can be picky. and no one would ever accuse me of being a princess if i said i would automatically dismiss a guy who smoked cigarettes or weed or drunk too much. but yeah, funny much lol

[sbhikes]

lmao amen to that! i have been married to and also dated someone whose idea of good food was KFC. it gets to be very not fun. cooking 2 different meals. trying to fight the junk food culture

I'm sorry, guys, but you're now starting to sound like -- and please pardon the language -- fucking paleo princesses who want "respect" for your diet before the person even knows whether or not he wants to ask you on a date.

Gosh, I wasn't even thinking about my diet. I was thinking I don't have time to date a cheap bastard who wants to take me to a sub shop for a first date. If you really want to date me, you either take me to a really nice place and flash me your 6 figure salary or if you don't have a 6 figure salary, you take me to do something fun and interesting that doesn't require money, something that shows me your amazing personality and sense of adventure, something that makes you worth my time. You don't take me out for submarine sandwiches. There will be enough time for that sort of thing once we're long-term (if it ever comes to that.)

I suppose that's pretty crass, but I did date a man with a 6 figure salary and at first I freaked out about it. I couldn't imagine being with someone so wealthy. I had to come to terms with a belief that somehow I wasn't worth it, that I didn't deserve the best. I know better now. You don't have to have a lot of money to be considered the best, but you do have to have more to offer than a sandwich. Or else it better be a hell of a sandwich.

[zoebird]

First, I never said don't have preferences. What I did say is don't be too picky.

Particularly at this stage. Be picky when you're talking about householding (or when you're considering it). Don't be picky when a person is hitting on you.

Why? You don't know him yet. You don't know if he smokes, does weed, drinks too much, likes sub shops, or respects your diet. These are the sorts of things you learn when *dating* not when going to a bar to meet someone.

If you want to get to dating people, you have to get through this first litmus test. The first litmus test is the banter at the bar. If that goes well, you get asked out.

Then, on the date, you might learn that he doesn't fall into your preferences, then you can say thanks but no thanks.

But if you shut down every guy in the bar with high-maintenance princess behavior, you're definitely not going to get what you want. You're gonna have to kiss a few frogs to find the prince, so to speak.

[zoebird]

Uhm, but he didn't invite her to a sub shop. He asked her what her favorite sub shop was. That's a wholly different question. And, it also depends upon context. This sub shop question is a big deal in PA (sheetz/wawa question), and if it's shifted to cheesesteaks, it's an even *bigger* cultural question. But it doesn't say that the guy's idea of a good meal is a sub shop, or that he is going to take you to one, or that he's cheap, or whatever else.

He wasn't even asking her on a date, and she failed pretty much any "will I ask this gal on a date" test.

And you dismissed him as cheap simply becuase he asked about sub shops.

Which meant that he -- say it was me even -- would have the option to take you to a nice restaurant with a fancy salary flash OR do something fun and free (which six-figure salary people do too) because, guess what? Attitude toward the question is that it's wrong to ask and you are offended, as opposed to simply playfully answering the question behind the question so that you COULD get asked out.

These guys are testing to see if the lady is interested and interesting. If you are not interested, fine. Be polite -- don't carry on the conversation and find an easy out of it. If you are interested, then be interesting. Because if you are not interesting, then you will not be asked out.

And then, you can have some influence on the date, even. I always did. He would call to ask me out, and I would make a few recommendations of things to do "I like these restaurants. I like to do these sorts of things. Did you hear about this (free cool event)? Maybe we could do that!" Then he decides from that list, knowing that he'll please you within those choices, and also be able to show who he is and how he works, too.

Seriously.

[kenn]

Zoe, has given a lot of good advice and most importantly PERSPECTIVE, I hope the OP will learn from her posts.

[bloodorchid]

No, he asked you about a sub shop as an introduction to talking about your ass

every conversation