I'm giving your husband the benefit of the doubt here. It may be that he does not know how much cooking pasta for friends on Sundays is upsetting for you.
Originally Posted by orielwen
Sit your husband down, in a calm manner, and start the conversation like this:
"Honey, I'm looking forward to having our friends over on Sunday. You are such a great cook, and it's really enjoyable for me to have you cook while I enjoy conversation with our friends." (step 1: Provide a compliment).
Honey, I'm not sure whether you are aware of how how proud I am of us becoming part of the paleo community. I feel empowered to be moving towards greater health. I also find the transition to greater health a little challenging.
Step 2: Communicate the problem:
"Honey, I feel frustrated with pasta menu on Sundays. It's hard for me to not eat the pasta, given all the work that you put into cooking it, however at the same time, I know that I won't feel well on Monday, if I eat that yummy pasta. I wish I didn't have this problem because it's causing me stress. Also, if I decide not to eat the pasta, I feel that it could make our guests feel awkward.
Step 3: Ask for help in solving this problem:
"Honey, I need your help and support in keeping me on the path to greater health through the paleo lifestyle. I wonder if we could think of a Sunday menu that would satisfy our paleo lifestyle, and be tasty for our friends and family. Could we table some ideas for a new Sunday menu? I sure appreciate your help with this."
Step 4: Thank your husband and re-iterate how much he means to you.
"Honey, thanks for listening and appreciating my concerns: Means the world to me. I'm going to order one of Mark Sisson's paleo cookbooks now, to help us menu plan for Sundays. **kiss kiss**
A woman should not consider herself 'assertive' when asking her spouse for support. If I were your guest and I noticed that you were eating something different than what you cooked me --- well, I'd be wondering why that is and it would make me feel awfully weird. Ask your husband to make the pasta as a side dish to a main that you can all enjoy.
F, 48, 5'10"
Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)
Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.