In general, I don't see myself in a damsel in distress role, and I don't wanna be there. BUT I have been upset with my husband a couple of times in the past where I was put in a situation where I'd have LIKED him to stick up for me, and he didn't! It wasn't about being physically rescued, more about emotionally rescued...
One was with his brother's best man when we were hanging out with him and his fiance and another friend before my husband's brother's wedding. For some reason this guy was REALLY MEAN to me, and I just don't know how to stick up for myself against insults that I perceive as real (I mean, he's teasing me constantly for my height...and I AM really short... I just don't know what to say to defend myself!!). But yeah, he was CONSTANTLY nasty and my husband (fiance at the time ) said NOT ONE WORD in my defense! I was really shattered. It wasn't a physical attack at all... just emotional and I didn't know how to deal with it (never learned how to deal with nasty words...). I didn't need him to punch the guy, just basically tell him to "Shut the fuck up!" I am better able to stick up for myself these days... but yeah, at the time... just not socially capable of doing so.
The thing is, though, I've never, ever been a "damsel in distress" in our relationship, so I guess he didn't think I needed rescuing or defending! I'm pretty self reliant and don't like to ask for help and don't like people doing stuff for me.
That being said, my husband DOES seem to have a soft spot for women who DO seem to need rescuing (weird that he's with me, but there you go). I sometimes think such women are being a bit pathetic, so it sort of bugs me when he wants to be the Knight in Shining Armor and come to the rescue!!
Still, in a relationship I like things to generally be pretty equal... both parties contributing in their own way (someone may earn a bit more and someone may earn a bit less, but overall it should all work out when it comes to household chores, child rearing etc etc).
After the last presidential debate (the one where it looked like they wanted to pound each other into the carpet), it was interesting how numerous male talking heads said they loved it and kind of got into it, while the female talking heads said they didn't like it and that it made them anxious. That's what it did to me (F). Watching alpha males fight each other makes me nervous -- it's a dangerous time for the tribe.
I just put that out there as something that seems pretty innate and primordial.
Personally, the thought that a guy would lay down his life for me (when he knows who I am and what I can and can't do, and knows I am in a situation where I can't do) totally floats my boat. This situation doesn't seem to arise much IRL, but it's a powerful theme in books and movies. Think Aragorn in LOTR. Don't tell me you wouldn't like him to kill the orc that's trying to kill you (if you're a woman) or that you wouldn't follow him if you're a man, because you totally would.
My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com
ima state upfront i am a woman with high T
that said, i fricken love watching men fight and when i saw female newscasters saying 'eek oh noes, they were fighting and we don't like it' i was like '....shut up. i enjoyed it.'
yeah you are
somethings happening to my dangus!
Like Sarasue said, there's a spectrum or two and we're all over the place.
my primal journal: