man, I am being hit from all sides by various stress. Can I just have a couple of months of peace, geez my work is stressful enough. I woke up this morning and I could feel the pulse and the surge of anxiety, I thought, I need to sprint, scream, puke, smash a fist in a wall. I just can't catch a break, too many competing conflicting demands, people to keep happy. Coping with alcohol and sometimes crap food follows. Seriously thought this morning about possiility of having a stroke. Sigh, anyway been mostly primal but numbing anxiety, negative thinking and fear with alcohol, hope I can revert back soon.
I just want to cry and scream for a few days, drink to oblivion a few more, take a couple of months off work............and then despair at throwing away a good career, 7 yrs at uni and shitloads of hardwork. Its hard to win sometimes. I am exhausted...mentally.