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Thread: How to convince the wife of the harmful effect of wheat? page

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    Iucounu's Avatar
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    Unhappy How to convince the wife of the harmful effect of wheat?

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    For the past couple years, I have been convinced about the effectiveness of the primal way of eating and exercise. My wife is unconvinced. We have gotten into plenty of arguments about it. I try and remain calm and rational, not fighting but just presenting the evidence. She has no interest in this whatsoever and says she doesn't care.

    I have gotten her to agree to read one book about the subject of wheat being bad for you. I wanted to get the opinion of the posters here as to which one I should buy for her. I'm leaning towards Wheat Belly, but if anyone has any other ideas I'd love to hear what you think.

    Please keep in mind, the book should be about the affect of wheat on the diet in particular, not a normal primal overview.
    Last edited by Iucounu; 10-11-2012 at 02:46 PM. Reason: typo

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    I would recommend Wheat Belly, for sure. I read it before I had heard of paleo/primal (was visiting my parents, and I was bored and it was lying there... so I didn't go into it with any particular intentions) and it really made me think about what I was eating, inspired me to cut out wheat for a couple weeks to see the effects. I did start eating wheat again after that (albeit in lower quantities), despite the positive results - I just wasn't committed enough to stick with it, but it planted the seed for sure, so when I started into the whole primal thing, I already had a knowledge basis for the grain elimination element.

    It's great that you've got here willing to at least become more informed on the issue... and don't give up hope if it doesn't inspire immediate change! There are a lot of years of wheat addiction and CW to overcome here

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    Wheat Belly IS great.

    Also this: The Grain Manifesto | Whole9 | Let us change your life.

    Primal/Paleo books often have large sections devoted to the concept, so I wouldn't discount them. I really liked It Starts With Food by the Whole9 people.

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    I'll give you a different approach. Don't. Why do you feel the need to push your agenda on someone else? You said you have been trying for "a couple of years", stop banging your head against a wall. She does not want to listen. Lead by example, live a clean life and hope that she might follow. The old saying appplies.... "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink". Self discovery is just that, SELF. She needs to find it herself.

    I wish my wife would do it to, she hasn't, but she has noticed my weight loss, ability to stick to goals, and my new found energy. I will be ready for the day she comes to me and says "tell me about that wheat thing again?" Until then, I want harmony in the house.......
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    Sounds like she is pretty uninterested, and perhaps resents you lecturing her? If you argue too much, then she *can't* change her position, because then you will 'win'.

    Wheat Belly is probably the best book, simply because the name is very good at emphasising the link between wheat and visceral abdominal fat.
    Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

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    Iucounu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TorMag View Post
    I'll give you a different approach. Don't. Why do you feel the need to push your agenda on someone else? You said you have been trying for "a couple of years", stop banging your head against a wall. She does not want to listen.
    I would tend to agree with you, but the problem is now that she is pregnant with our first child and this is really more about what approach we will be taking with her nutrition. It has been a long, long time since I attempted to convert the wife.

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    Damiana's Avatar
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    Seriously, if I were unconvinced about something, a book is not going to change my mind for me. I can find a book extolling the values of whatever it is out there. If I wanted a book promoting paleo, veganism, raw diet, polyamory, you name it, it exists. Unless your wife is open to the idea, good luck. Unless she is severely overweight and in poor health and developing gestational diabetes, leave her alone. You know what's best for your child when it's born? Parents that get along.
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    OK, so here's ten pence worth from a coeliac.

    In terms of child nutrition, the current guidelines which I have read for parents who have coeliac and are concerned about their kids developing it, they suggest not introducing wheat until after 6 months old, but to see how the baby copes first with rice cereal, then trying oatmeal and barley before wheat products. Even if you are not coeliacs this makes sense, because there is some evidence that exposure to wheat too early can increase the chances of coeliac disease and gluten allergies, and I honestly also believe wheat is bad for quite a lot of us and not just coeliacs. I avoid grains altogether, but I am a consenting adult and can make that choice.

    If you're talking about kids, then I think that putting a child on a restricted diet before you know that they have any allergies or problems, you could be setting yourself up for trouble. If their systems are never exposed to gluten, they may not tolerate it at all. Putting a child on any sort of diet that eliminates a particular food risks masking allergies and problems like coeliac disease - if they have it, then they need to eat it for it to show up, or they will have to go through the horrors of a gluten challenge and that aint pretty.

    And I do think that we should consider as parents that our kids will need to lead a normal life to some degree - they will be invited to parties, where there will probably be wheat based foods, they will eat at their friends' houses etc. And if they do not have a wheat allergy, coeliac disease, or food intolerance, then they should be permitted within reason to eat a wide range of foods so that they can participate in the business of being a kid fully, and part of that in our modern world, whether we as primal/paleo types agree with it or not, involves the odd bit of fast food, sugar-loaded party, or cake fest. It sucks being the kid who has to take special food to a party, or can't have the birthday cake at school. If there's no medical reason, then don't restrict their diet too much, and let them make their informed choices when they are old enough. I'm not suggesting feed them loads of bread and cake - I don't think your wife would dispute that sugary refined grain products are not a health food, and would probably not disagree with you if you said OK, lets feed our child a healthy varied diet, and keep that stuff for occasional consumption only.

    You won't ever find me extolling the health benefits of wheat, but I think when it comes to kids, you take the middle ground and agree something sensible that ensures your kids are fed good healthy food, but they aren't unnecessarily restricted either. It's got to be common sense, yes wheat is bad for you, we know that otherwise would we be on here talking about primal nutrition? Probably not. But will a child understand that? Also, probably not. As soon as they were out of your sight they'd be off to Greggs for a pasty with their mates. So long as they are fed well at home, they get lots of fruit and veg, good protein, fat, and nutrition, then a little bit of their diet containing wheat, unless they are coeliac or intolerant/allergic, is not going to ruin them for life.
    Last edited by PaleoPanda; 10-12-2012 at 06:28 AM.

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    I think part of the issue with wheat is that you don't know it was a problem until you eliminate it. It's very hard, despite information, to get your mind around the issues wheat can cause. I ate wheat for YEARS and felt great. Perfectly fine, except for being fat. I had NO IDEA that it was wheat triggering binges. I figured it was lack of willpower, hormones, and 801 other things other than wheat.

    I think the best thing to do is convince her to give it up for a few weeks. Just say "hey, try not eating wheat for 2 weeks, see what happens".

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