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Thread: How to convince the wife of the harmful effect of wheat? page 2

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by TorMag View Post
    I'll give you a different approach. Don't.
    This, right here.

    It's pointless to try and push an agenda on someone that doesn't want to listen. The LAST person your wife is going to take advice from is you. She'd be far more likely to listen to a complete stranger. There's an element of pride here, and she doesn't want to hear from her husband about how she abuses her body by shoveling wheat into her mouth - even if that's not how you're saying it, that's how she's taking it. She's taking it as in insult since *you* on your high and mighty throne, keeper of all the answers, feels the need to fix her because she's *so broken.*

    Let it go and lead by example. If you lose weight and gain health over months and slowly take on a whole new lust for life, believe me, she'll notice. My friends started coming to me. Just realize that you can't save everyone and most people are just not going to care at all, but if you try and force it, everyone will turn off their ears.
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iucounu View Post
    I would tend to agree with you, but the problem is now that she is pregnant with our first child and this is really more about what approach we will be taking with her nutrition. It has been a long, long time since I attempted to convert the wife.
    I hear you brother, and I understand where you are coming from, but by the laws of our land, it's not your child yet..... Once the little thing hatches, you get some say on how you are going to raise your child, but while it's in the oven, she has total control.

    As someone said in an earlier post, the best thing for a kid is two parents getting along. Being a Dad rocks, you will have years and years to influence your kids and make sure they make the right decisions in life and that includes what they eat.

    Since going Primal and dropping all my weight, my 14 year old daughter has become very proud of her Dad, last night, I was lazy and only cooked steak and a salad. My daughter asked, where were all the veggies.....

    You will have plenty of time to make sure your kids walk down the right path, that will be your number one job for the rest of your life...

    Edit: Please tell me you are going to let your kids have birthday cake, not some paleo fake wheat cake... Don't ever forget Mark's 80 20 rules.... A little cake once in a while will not hurt (disclaimer: unless of course they have some reallly bad gluten allergies)......
    Last edited by TorMag; 10-12-2012 at 05:57 AM.
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  3. #13
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    You can't change people. As TorMag, Damiana, ChocoTaco and several others on this forum, don't push it.

    A book isn't going to help, with as what was said, I can find a book, or a blog post (Those are always telling the truth, don't cha know!?) promoting one thing or another, and all sorts of well sounding science and studies to back it up.

    For example; Mark's take on soy vs Leo Babauta's take on soy.

    Here's what you do. Keep on what you're doing, and, if she likes what she'll see, she'll consider it. Don't expect it, though. Do your thing, and let her do hers. I'm certain that regardless of whatever progress I might make, my father will continue to enjoy his pastas, breads, fast food and the like. Even after his heart attack, the only change he's really made is the number of pills he takes. He's fine with it, I'm not going to worry about it either.

  4. #14
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    I think that she is willing to read, is a good first step. Then it is not coming from you but from an "expert". Something may resonate.

    I understand your wanting to try. We all want what is best for our loved ones, especially for children who do not have much say. We have to make those decisions for them as best we can. And once you understand some of the dangers, it would be liken to a pregnant woman smoking, or drinking heavy, or doing drugs, etc. I know not the same extreme extent, but when you are passionate about something, you cant help but see the similarities. It doesnt matter if one is a slow poison or fast poison, it is poison none the less.

    But sometimes all you can do is just keep walking the walk. I try not to preach.. anymore... but sometimes we will hear something or DH will say something, and I am like - do you want to know why that is? And he says no. haha. But eventually, I tell him anyways. I find a way to work it in. I dont pound it in, I just make sure to put it out there.

    And guess what? He doesnt eat the subs at Subway anymore. I have noticed this week that he has really laid off his evening beers and I am seeing water bottles in the koozy instead.
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  5. #15
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    If you want to make your case, the best way to do it is not by telling her that she needs to change. She's not going to. Not anytime soon at any rate. You might make the case that the nutrition of your child (even while unborn) should be a mutual descision and that you want to discuss it with her. If she agrees, THEN you can bring your evidence to the table for a weat-free diet.

    But if she still doesn't want to, you should respect that. It might be hard for you to accept, but the bun is not in YOUR oven, so to speak, and it's ultimately her God-given right to do it the way she wants to. Ever heard the phrase "mother knows best?" Go against that, especially if she's unwilling, and you may wind up the Headless Horseman in very short manner.

    One thing you might do is simply say to her "now that you are pregnant, I'd like to help out by cooking more." Step up to the plate and offer to cook more, use non-wheat, primal approved carb sources such as squashes, sweet potatoes, ect. to replace traditional weat sources. She may complain if she's doing the cooking, but if you are, she may be more likely to say, "at least I'm not slaving away in the kitchen."

    Make spaghetti with spaghetti squash. Make bread with coconut flour. Butternut squash mash. If you can teach her that grain-free can still be delicious, maybe she'll give it a chance. Lead by example, not by force.

    You might not get her to ELIMINATE wheat, but if you take more proactive steps, you can probably get her to limit her intake at least, plus win bonus points by doing more of the kitchen work. I mean, what lady wants to spend forever in the kitchen when she's pregnant?

  6. #16
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    Oh yeah, I second do more of the cooking. That's how I manage to ensure that my OH at least eats some veg and healthy stuff to offset his love for junk food! The only stipulation regards my OH's diet is that he does not prepare gluten containing foods in the kitchen because contamination makes me so sick. I agree that cooking, leading by example, and showing her that things don't have to contain wheat to be tasty and good is probably the best way to go. But ultimately, you have to respect that it's her body and her choice if she does not want to give it up. The last thing pregnant women usually need is men telling them what to do with their bodies - pregnancy is a tough enough time as it is without that.

    And at the end of the day, it's wheat, not crack.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by PaleoPanda View Post
    And at the end of the day, it's wheat, not crack.
    *looks up the recent studies on opiates contained in modern wheat crops*


  8. #18
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    I know, I know. But still, your baby isn't going to get born screaming for wheat if mama doesn't stop consuming it! If she was drinking a ton of booze, taking illegal drugs, or smoking, I'd say she needs a change of mind and fast.

    Just wait until she wants to lose the baby weight, I reckon she might be more open to it then!

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by TorMag View Post
    Edit: Please tell me you are going to let your kids have birthday cake, not some paleo fake wheat cake... Don't ever forget Mark's 80 20 rules.... A little cake once in a while will not hurt (disclaimer: unless of course they have some reallly bad gluten allergies)......
    Haha, no! I'm totally cool with bad foods every once in a while as a treat.

    I guess my issue is that she responds to new information in a totally different way than I would. If she were to approach me with a concern, and mention she had read some interesting research that had massive health implications, I would immediately look into it and come to a conclusion. I would not just shrug and dismiss it and claim I didn't care. That mindset is so foreign to my own that that's really what is bothering me I suppose. If she were, say, a die-hard vegan at least she would have put some effort into forming an opinion.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iucounu View Post
    Haha, no! I'm totally cool with bad foods every once in a while as a treat.

    I guess my issue is that she responds to new information in a totally different way than I would. If she were to approach me with a concern, and mention she had read some interesting research that had massive health implications, I would immediately look into it and come to a conclusion. I would not just shrug and dismiss it and claim I didn't care. That mindset is so foreign to my own that that's really what is bothering me I suppose. If she were, say, a die-hard vegan at least she would have put some effort into forming an opinion.
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