Getting my kids off the junk and getting the fiance on board page 2

[sbhikes]

In my experience you can't convince people who don't want to eat fatty meats to eat them. You can't convince people who think grains are god's gift to health not to eat them. You are going to have to simply do the best you can. Make sure the kids and husband get the healthiest grain-rich foods possible. Draw the line at outright junk food.

Meanwhile, make a separate version of dinner for yourself. When I make spaghetti sauce, mine goes on a sweet potato or on top of a hamburger patty and his goes on top of pasta. When we have Indian food I take a little bit of lentils and rice and as much of the chicken tikka as I possibly can get away with. I'll make myself a nice rare grass-fed steak and serve him Trader Joe's frozen tamales. He's actually happy about that (need that boggle smiley here). When we have burritos I put mine in a bowl without the tortilla. If anything, the burrito bowls have kinda opened the door to grain-free dinners. I can serve burrito bowls any time and he doesn't mind if there's no tortilla.

[jpatti]

My philosophy is to make eating well both yummy and easier than doing anything else.

There's a fruit bowl on my table, because lazy people looking for something to munch on should have apples, pears and oranges around - nothing stopping anyone from driving to the convenience store and buying chips or a candy bar except their own laziness. Or when I buy melons in summer, I cut them up right away, again to address laziness; food that is ready to eat gets eaten.

I cook real food and hubby has flatout told me he skipped McD's because he knew I was making a beef stew that night.

I pack him a lunch with a wrap (meat and gobs of veggies) or hot leftovers in a thermos (stew or chili or such), cut fruit, cut veggies and "something else" (often a baked good, but my baked goods contain fruit or veggies and about half the "normal" amount of sugar).

Tastes change over time, and some of us can't eat doughnuts anymore cause they're "too sweet." He says I ruined doughnuts. Good for me!

There are compromises, true. I boil potatoes in bone broth to add to his stew, so I can leave it out of mine. Or I cut up real potatoes and fry in coconut oil when he really wants poutin. I make homemade chocolate syrup (cocoa, water, vanilla and stevia) for him to make chocolate milk (and it's raw milk cause that's what I buy).

I can't MAKE anyone eat what I want them to. Really, you can't even with children, let alone other adults.

I CAN make it easier and more pleasant to do what I prefer. There is always pasta and rice in the house, even boxed mac and cheese. I just don't cook them, so they don't get eaten much. Laziness is my friend.

I am VERY manipulative about food. And I don't even do it covertly, I SAY that I'm doing it. It still works!

The book idea MIGHT work, if he has any interest in nutrition. Mine would be unlikely to read a book like that though. However, when he saw Food, Inc. it made a BIG impression; he "got" that processed food is bad all on his own and LOOKS for HFCS in processed crap now, even if I'm not there. He doesn't remember why it's bad, just remembers he was convinced.

[Annieh]

My philosophy is to make eating well both yummy and easier than doing anything else.

There's a fruit bowl on my table, because lazy people looking for something to munch on should have apples, pears and oranges around - nothing stopping anyone from driving to the convenience store and buying chips or a candy bar except their own laziness. Or when I buy melons in summer, I cut them up right away, again to address laziness; food that is ready to eat gets eaten.

I cook real food and hubby has flatout told me he skipped McD's because he knew I was making a beef stew that night.

I pack him a lunch with a wrap (meat and gobs of veggies) or hot leftovers in a thermos (stew or chili or such), cut fruit, cut veggies and "something else" (often a baked good, but my baked goods contain fruit or veggies and about half the "normal" amount of sugar).

Tastes change over time, and some of us can't eat doughnuts anymore cause they're "too sweet." He says I ruined doughnuts. Good for me!

There are compromises, true. I boil potatoes in bone broth to add to his stew, so I can leave it out of mine. Or I cut up real potatoes and fry in coconut oil when he really wants poutin. I make homemade chocolate syrup (cocoa, water, vanilla and stevia) for him to make chocolate milk (and it's raw milk cause that's what I buy).

I can't MAKE anyone eat what I want them to. Really, you can't even with children, let alone other adults.

I CAN make it easier and more pleasant to do what I prefer. There is always pasta and rice in the house, even boxed mac and cheese. I just don't cook them, so they don't get eaten much. Laziness is my friend.

I am VERY manipulative about food. And I don't even do it covertly, I SAY that I'm doing it. It still works!

The book idea MIGHT work, if he has any interest in nutrition. Mine would be unlikely to read a book like that though. However, when he saw Food, Inc. it made a BIG impression; he "got" that processed food is bad all on his own and LOOKS for HFCS in processed crap now, even if I'm not there. He doesn't remember why it's bad, just remembers he was convinced.

jpatti, these are Marvellous Strategies. I love that you tell them you are manipulating their food, haha. That's so funny and I can't believe it works.

Making the packed lunches for my dh works for me too. As does preparing my daughter's weekend breakfast or afterschool snack. Sure I could leave them to do their own, but it's more important to me that I give them the best quality food, and they get to feel spoilt so we're all happy.

[Sandra in BC]

Whoever buys the groceries and cooks the food is in charge. Period. Who would that be in your house?

My kids would eat cookies and Froot Loops and potato chips and pie every day if it was in the house. Guess what? They can't, so they don't. Instead of insisting that the rest of my family be Primal, I focus on encouraging them to eat clean and unprocessed.

It is not that complicated....don't buy the foods you don't want them to eat. Keep the foods on hand that you want them to choose from. And I don't recommend making "healthy" versions of their favorite crap food...make tasty REAL food instead. Roasted chicken drumsticks taste way better than frozen nuggets.

[bostonwolf]

Kids eat what you allow them to eat. You and your ex- unfortunately just gave in whenever he said "I'm not eating that."

Serve a normal, healthy dinner. If they don't want to eat it, that's fine, but they go to bed hungry. That won't happen too many times before they are willing to at least try what's on their plate.

[Kata]

Kids eat what you allow them to eat. You and your ex- unfortunately just gave in whenever he said "I'm not eating that."

Serve a normal, healthy dinner. If they don't want to eat it, that's fine, but they go to bed hungry. That won't happen too many times before they are willing to at least try what's on their plate.

That's exactly how it was for me growing up. My parents didn't force me to eat what everyone else was eating if I didn't want to, but there was no way they were going to make me something else just because I was being picky. If I wanted something else, I'd have to make it myself. And you're right - most of the time I just gave in or I didn't eat at all, and I had no one to blame but myself. I'm grateful for that now.

[Karyn]

I think if you are the one buying the food and cooking it than the menu is up to you. Your child might pitch a fit but he will get over it. You're the parent and I can understand that it is difficult to deal with such behavior but it is more important that you make sure you are doing the right thing for him now.
The fiance is another issues. My BF also thinks grains are important and I can't see him going without in the near future. But I am slowly working on changing that way of thinking.

[blissfull]

So far you have gotten a lot of good advice and so have I thanks to your post.
I especially like having pasta in the house and just not being the one to cook it. Chances are it will never be cooked.
No way will my 16 year old son make his own mac and cheese (however he will if it is prepackaged so I don't buy it).
I will by a couple of boxes of pasta to sit in the cabinets though, that way the next time there is a groan I can say,"You can
make some macaroni and cheese. We have pasta, butter and cheese." and then I will hear,"That's alright." and he will exit the
kitchen. That way he is given the power. Pasta is cheap and it will make the cabinets seem not so bare. If he actually starts
to make it himself I will just buy "healthier" pasta....
My husband is NOT a health nut kind of guy at all but will eat whatever I make so I am kind of fortunate. I will hear that he
can taste the coconut in everything and he will say it would taste good with cheese on top but that is about it.
As for the kids, I just keep the house stocked with what I would like for them to eat. Yogurt and cottage cheese are always
in the frig, fruit is on the counter and jerky and nuts in the cabinets. You can only control what goes on in your own home though. Children (and adults) are bombarded with junk food every where they go, our school systems even uses candy as
a reward for doing homework. I have learned to do what I can do and let go of the rest. It is frustrating but I have a little
piece of mind knowing that my kitchen is stocked with love whether the family sees it that way or not.

[marthat]

So many great ideas. I love the concept of laziness - so true. Every time I have University Son home, I wash and put out fresh fruit on the counter. He doesn't eat enough fresh stuff on his own, so instead of going looking for junk (which he won't find much of in my house), he nibbles at the fresh stuff on the counter all day. And if Mom makes him bacon and eggs for breakfast, he won't complain or go looking for starchy stuff. Meaty and veggie-rich suppers. I fill him up with good stuff and loving every time he comes home. He balks a bit at the "high fat" stuff, but laziness (and a young man's healthy appetite) are enough to have him eating the good stuff.

Overall, I try to cook good clean Primal fare, with the occasional grain on the side for hubby.

Use potatoes and rice ad lib to make the meals seem "normal". Nothing says Primal needs to be low carb...

[solstice]

my kids arent grain free, but def. gluten and dairy free. You can be GF and still live on junk food---but it's going to cost you a lot more moolah, so you have to be careful, but perhaps this is a good transition for you?