Yikes, good luck on the double-date! Sounds terrifying.
As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.
– Ernest Hemingway
You know, If I ate popcorn, I'd be pigging out on it, reading this thread. Good thing... I don't, and I'm not.
Good on you/your wife for discussing the issue.
My husband and I are very open in our communications, and we also understand that "attraction" is basically a chemical reaction (hello, pheromones!), and means absolutely NOTHING. "Love" on the other hand, is all about wanting the other person to be happy, and is really big on self-sacrifice. Don't confuse the two.
Should either of us have an attraction issue, we fess up to it to each other. Yes, it does happen. No, it is NOT a symptom of a marriage problem. The solution to it is generally distance, and/or open discussion with spouse, which can put it in perspective.
Once you keep "secrets" ... things tend to go downhill fast. Being discreet about dealing with uncomfortable feelings isn't necessarily "secrets", but at some point, getting that aired out will help.
Yes, it is perfectly possible to:
A) Have "attraction" to more than one person at a time, and
B) Love more than one person (ask any parent) at a time.
The question, therefore, is what is your priority? This would be a good focus for your counseling sessions, in my opinion.
I'm going back to not eating popcorn, now.
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.
you know, i have to be honest, if my other set up a double date like that i'd be terrified too, and say 'no. no. nuh uh. no. NO. let's go have sex for a few days.'
yeah you are
Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
"@twa2w- if the women are getting more than the men, you can easily have 20 happy bonking women and 60 happy bonking men...your math-fu is weak "
All I can say to this is that there are three kinds of people in this world - those that can add and those that can't ;-)
I can't help people who are inumerate.