Excited but terrified
I am just getting started with the primal life, and while I am excited for the life I could be leading, I am terrified to take the leap and jump in. I have been overweight my whole life and have always struggled. I was a fairly active child growing up but as an adult I have progressed into a very sedintary lifestyle. I work in radiology in a hospital, so it's not that I sit at a desk all day, however when I get home I'm exhausted and just want to sit on the couch and eat. The last 18 months have been very difficult. I got layed off from my full time job, my dad was in a horrible accident and ended up in ICU for 2 weeks (3 weeks before I was supposed to get married), and about 6 months ago, my fiance decided he didn't want to get married, or even stay together after a 5 year relationship. Needless to say, I have gained about 50 pounds though all of this. I decided that I needed to get off my butt and do something so in May I decided to get a gym membership, hire a trainer, and quit smoking. I jumped into the gym full force, seeing my trainer twice a week and doing cardio 6 days a week. Even with all the exercise, I steadily gained weight. Once a month I had the "pleasure" of getting wieghed and measured. For someone with self esteem issues, it was a horrible feeling. I couldn't understand how I was possible gaining weight with all the work.
Eating is a whole other issue. I am a carb junky/addict. I can eat nothing but carbs, sugar and soda. I don't really enjoy vegetables, but do like fruit, however I don't gravitate towards either when I'm hungary. I am really nervous to give up my carbs. They are my security blanket and the things I gravitate to when I'm having a bad day.
Long post...sorry, just trying to get it all out there
Can anyone give any advise on how to start the process?