
Originally Posted by
heatherdarbs
Oh boy....this challenge, for me at least, was harder than running 50 miles/week.
I eventually had to treat it as I viewed it, which was an addiction, as you say. I personally had to stop 100% to break it. My hormone levels were untraceable (estrogen), osteopenia in one of my hips, faint heartbeat... With lack of estrogen, you experience bone loss, so assuming you can keep up at this rate is fairly unrealistic. I would run through injuries, heart palpitations, chronically sore legs, swelling and edema – I would run for miles a day, but could barely walk from my car to the grocery store entrance. I couldn’t get it through my head that my body was consuming itself for energy; I was totally focused on my weight and my jean size – not my health. Interestingly, I looked like shit and didn’t see it. I look at photos now and think “sick”, literally, I looked ill…but I was a size zero, so it’s all worth it, right? No.
Finally, I had to make the decision, which was to quit altogether…and I gained weight; I won’t lie; it was horrifying. However, once I felt my head was in the right place, I started a new routine structured by someone other than myself, which allowed my muscles to grow, fat to burn, body to shrink, energy levels to be restored and most importantly, I got to enjoy my morning coffee without fretting over my runs. This was such a big deal to me that I just won’t let it go now…seeing the morning sunrise. My runs completely controlled and consumed me. It finally dawned on me that I was behaving exactly as certain people in my life that I had severed relations with due to their own addictions; and I couldn’t be a hypocrite. Maybe I’m assuming you’re in a similar situation and if I’m wrong; I apologize. If I’m not, asses your focus, find your fear and define the reason behind the fear. I find that neurotic behavior stems from just that. Fight it by doing just the opposite of what your obsession is forcing you through. There’s so much freedom outside of it. You ask how you do it, but you know how; you do it. Always work on your mind first and the rest will follow.
Again, sorry if I went down the wrong path with this; but this sounds all too familiar.