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Thread: Cure for broken heart?

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  1. #1
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    Cure for broken heart?

    A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.

    My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.

    How is there anything evolutionary about what I feel. I don't want to feel this way. Why do I and how can I stop. Is there a drug? sitting in front of my work computer feels like a prison of misery
    ad astra per aspera

  2. #2
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    I know this is cliche, but find the pieces, pick 'em up, and keep walking. I had an ex do the same thing.
    If what you do is fairly brainless, use it as a form of meditation.
    Set aside a time to truly reflect on that relationship. I'm not talking 20 minutes. This may be an all nighter. Go through all of it, the happy times, the sad times, the rough times, the good times. Reflect on how she changed you and how you learned from each other. Allow yourself to feel as you go through it, to cry, get enraged, smile, and laugh. This will go a long way towards helping the healing. You may not be far enough into your mourning to do that though, so that call is yours.
    Let it out as you can. A soul in pain can only fester if not allowed to breathe.
    Find reasons to smile and laugh. Beg, borrow, or steal funny movies and books. Get lost in enjoying things you couldn't while you were attached.
    Your heart will heal, eventually. I can't say when, but you will love again. One day you'll wake up and she won't be your first thought. One day, she'll be put aside in a special box in your memories and filed away. For now, let yourself process it.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    I know this is cliche, but find the pieces, pick 'em up, and keep walking. I had an ex do the same thing.
    If what you do is fairly brainless, use it as a form of meditation.
    Set aside a time to truly reflect on that relationship. I'm not talking 20 minutes. This may be an all nighter. Go through all of it, the happy times, the sad times, the rough times, the good times. Reflect on how she changed you and how you learned from each other. Allow yourself to feel as you go through it, to cry, get enraged, smile, and laugh. This will go a long way towards helping the healing. You may not be far enough into your mourning to do that though, so that call is yours.
    Let it out as you can. A soul in pain can only fester if not allowed to breathe.
    Find reasons to smile and laugh. Beg, borrow, or steal funny movies and books. Get lost in enjoying things you couldn't while you were attached.
    Your heart will heal, eventually. I can't say when, but you will love again. One day you'll wake up and she won't be your first thought. One day, she'll be put aside in a special box in your memories and filed away. For now, let yourself process it.

    fast cat that is sad, and I so agree with Naiadknight. You have got to go through the whole grief process. You have lost a loved one - so take each day as it comes, don't do nothing stupid, and keep feeding yourself. You so don't want to be low in nutrients at this tough time. If it means just buying the basics - butter, cream, meat and a pkt of lettuce - just do it, and tomorrow you might feel a miniscule better. I haven't been through a breakup but have lost two children - and the emotions are all very similar.
    Good luck and we are here for you man
    G
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  4. #4
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    I remember a post you made about her recently regarding text misinterpretations, that was you, yes? So sorry to hear that things have not worked out.

    For me, the best thing when I am very sad, or feeling sick, or anything is to throw myself completely and entirely into my two favorite things: my job, and World of Wacraft (don't judge me =P). Just focus really hard on your favorite things and that will help you get through this. Try not to be doing nothing, as idleness leads to over thinking.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by qqemokitty View Post
    and World of Wacraft (don't judge me =P).
    No judging here, we've all got our things. ((Online text based Role Playing here...!))
    Down from 275 to 250!
    Werewolf Primal Living Blog - http://lycanthropology.com
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    OP: Find the time to be alone, and deal with it all. Most of the time when I hear things like this, people are usually emotionally dependent on their partner. If this is the case, I find it best to suggest people spend more time alone (you spend time with those you love, so spend time with yourself!). This will at least lessen the blow to at least some form of insult, rather than a life destroying situation.

    Quote Originally Posted by Westly View Post
    No judging here, we've all got our things. ((Online text based Role Playing here...!))
    What forums were made for.

  7. #7
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    Surgical removal of the affected tissues. Seriously, just force yourself to think of something else.
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  8. #8
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    The only cure is time, but you can do other stuff to distract yourself and feel better in the meantime. I highly recommend physical activity, getting out of town and having an adventure (go climb something or whatever), spending time with friends, etc. After a while the pain will be less and you will be able to deal with the emotional fallout better and move on.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

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  9. #9
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    Time and bacon.

  10. #10
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    well then

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