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Thread: Cure for broken heart? page

  1. #1
    TheFastCat's Avatar
    TheFastCat is offline Senior Member
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    Cure for broken heart?

    A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.

    My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.

    How is there anything evolutionary about what I feel. I don't want to feel this way. Why do I and how can I stop. Is there a drug? sitting in front of my work computer feels like a prison of misery
    ad astra per aspera

  2. #2
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    I know this is cliche, but find the pieces, pick 'em up, and keep walking. I had an ex do the same thing.
    If what you do is fairly brainless, use it as a form of meditation.
    Set aside a time to truly reflect on that relationship. I'm not talking 20 minutes. This may be an all nighter. Go through all of it, the happy times, the sad times, the rough times, the good times. Reflect on how she changed you and how you learned from each other. Allow yourself to feel as you go through it, to cry, get enraged, smile, and laugh. This will go a long way towards helping the healing. You may not be far enough into your mourning to do that though, so that call is yours.
    Let it out as you can. A soul in pain can only fester if not allowed to breathe.
    Find reasons to smile and laugh. Beg, borrow, or steal funny movies and books. Get lost in enjoying things you couldn't while you were attached.
    Your heart will heal, eventually. I can't say when, but you will love again. One day you'll wake up and she won't be your first thought. One day, she'll be put aside in a special box in your memories and filed away. For now, let yourself process it.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  3. #3
    Alex Good's Avatar
    Alex Good is offline Senior Member
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    Surgical removal of the affected tissues. Seriously, just force yourself to think of something else.
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  4. #4
    Owly's Avatar
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    The only cure is time, but you can do other stuff to distract yourself and feel better in the meantime. I highly recommend physical activity, getting out of town and having an adventure (go climb something or whatever), spending time with friends, etc. After a while the pain will be less and you will be able to deal with the emotional fallout better and move on.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

  5. #5
    RichMahogany's Avatar
    RichMahogany is online now Senior Member
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    Time and bacon.

  6. #6
    Gadsie's Avatar
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    well then

  7. #7
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    Yes, there is a drug. That might or might not be the appropriate route for you, but if it is your local psychiatrist can fix you up. There's also homeopathy, chinese herbs, acupuncture, massage. There are friends to call, maybe relatives to visit. There is continuing to take care of yourself in all the basic ways people do--eating right, exercising, brushing your teeth. There are counselors and grief groups. Nature. Journaling. Other species to hang out with (may I suggest dogs). Gardens to cultivate. Finally there are people who need you, people you can care for, other people who are hurting in their own ways--sick people, poor people, lonely people. Someone left you, but so many people remain--those that you know, and those you have yet to know--who need what you have to give. Don't leave them.

    My two cents.

  8. #8
    sbhikes's Avatar
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    Time. And exercise. Good luck. Everything always gets better eventually.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    I can squat 180lbs, press 72.5lbs and deadlift 185lbs

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    Daemonized's Avatar
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    I'll repeat advice given to me once. Dry your eyes on another woman's skirt.

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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Exorcise your demons. I always cry all my tears til I have nothing left.

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