I am writing this email because I am truly sorry and I want you to know that. I know that last night was hard for you as it was for me too. I never meant to hurt you nor did I use you and I really want you to know that. When you and I first got together I was so excited and happy because you had so many great qualities that were compatible with me- your sensitivity, thoughtfulness, kindness, sweet nature, not to mention all of the shared experiences we have. It felt right, it felt good. As time went on, I started getting scared a bit because I realized you were way more ready for this relationship than I and I started having crazy feelings. Feelings that left me pushing back a bit. I felt like I needed space and time with my friends and sister, which you happily gave most of the time. I really just don't think I was ready, TFC. As much as I can say this and that and whatever were the cause, I really just think that is what it is. Like you have said in the past, anything can be interpreted a certain way depending on what you are looking for; I was scared.
I sincerely apologize for hurting you, TFC. I tried and it did not work and for that I will not apologize. I had and have true feelings for you and that will always be in my heart. I had no intentions of hurting you, ever. I never used you or meant to make you feel that way. I thought I was ready and thought my crazy feelings would go away. They didn't and frankly, just got crazier as our relationship went on. It is pretty clear to me now that I cannot move on from my past in my current state. I know you love me and I hold that very close and dear. I have never been loved by a man the way you loved me, never. Thank you for everything, the way you treated me, cared for me, tried for me…all of that is not unrecognized or forgotten. It was real. I hope someday you can forgive me and I hope you don't feel resentful of our time together. I treasure it.
Please reach out if you feel inclined, but don't feel obligated as I know this is probably difficult.