Cure for broken heart? page 13

[magnolia1973]

OK, that must have been someone else having issues.

It does make it harder if she otherwise has her shit together.

[magnolia1973]

And if you are serious, you probably need to go ahead and have the face to face conversation.

[not on the rug]

i agree with magnolia. time to quit the lame texting and games. sit down and have a face to face. like the 29 and 32 year olds you are. then move forward. get back together if you truly love each other. or stop seeing her alltogether. figure out who has to change gyms, etc, and move on with your lives. if you truly lvoe each other, but can't be together, then you need to not see each other at all

[quelsen]

i need to give you a vulcan mind meld man.

no matter what has happened

no matter what you want to happen

She is teh crazy. which is short hand for.....

Patient presents as an individual who has been unable to come to terms with abandonment issues. Patient experienced a time between 0 and 6 where abandonment was a major theme. Either they were abandoned themselves or they experienced vicariously the abandonment of a caregiver.

Patient is subsequently attempting to relive said trauma so as to understand it at an adult level and will continue to provoke thematic consequences either to relive depressed emotions so as to expiate them or to achieve some other cathartic release.

Depending on subsequent traumas experienced by this individual, healing may or may not be the end goal. Documented case evidence indicates a strongly narcissistic personality coupled with self destructive tendencies, thus indicating that resolution is not the goal. Pain for pains sake seems to be the goal. This can indicate an excessive amount of guilt over the provoking incident which most likely was not within the patients control.



Bottom line.... She wont be a good partner until she fixes this. Now if you want to be her guinea pig, enjoy that pain. but know that once she fixes her problem she WILL NOT CHOOSE YOU.... You are just the school, she will graduate and move to someone with whom she has no baggage at all.

[Ellie_Miller]

I'm sorry I am just typing out loud the thoughts that are in my head. I am trying to process everything before I do anything. I do not like drama I'm sorry if this thread is annoying.

Don't be sorry TFC.

Why did she want to end things in the first place again?

[Ellie_Miller]

i need to give you a vulcan mind meld man.

no matter what has happened

no matter what you want to happen

She is teh crazy. which is short hand for.....

Patient presents as an individual who has been unable to come to terms with abandonment issues. Patient experienced a time between 0 and 6 where abandonment was a major theme. Either they were abandoned themselves or they experienced vicariously the abandonment of a caregiver.

Patient is subsequently attempting to relive said trauma so as to understand it at an adult level and will continue to provoke thematic consequences either to relive depressed emotions so as to expiate them or to achieve some other cathartic release.

Depending on subsequent traumas experienced by this individual, healing may or may not be the end goal. Documented case evidence indicates a strongly narcissistic personality coupled with self destructive tendencies, thus indicating that resolution is not the goal. Pain for pains sake seems to be the goal. This can indicate an excessive amount of guilt over the provoking incident which most likely was not within the patients control.



Bottom line.... She wont be a good partner until she fixes this. Now if you want to be her guinea pig, enjoy that pain. but know that once she fixes her problem she WILL NOT CHOOSE YOU.... You are just the school, she will graduate and move to someone with whom she has no baggage at all.

Whoa. Thank you for posting this. I never thought of it that way...

[Urban Forager]

Quelsen could be right or......

I know this isn't going to be a popular view but maybe she is realizing what she walked a way from. The intensity of the relationship may have taken her by surprise, she may have felt she wasn't emotionally ready for it. When I met my husband I had it in my mind that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I liked and respected him too much to date him casually and I didn't think I was capable of being a good long term partner. Obviously I decided to take the plunge (we've been together 20+ yrs.) even though I didn't feel ready. There are no guarantees and I'm not sure any one is ever really emotionally ready. You can learn and grow together.

I think you should talk to her (in person) but let her know you are not willing to go back and forth. She needs to be honest and admit why she pulled away from you.

[TheFastCat]

Don't be sorry TFC.

Why did she want to end things in the first place again?

She said that I was much more prepared for the relationship than she was... she still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend that she broke up with 10 months ago... that I didn't accept the person she was. Three days beforehand she was pushing me away; it was out of nowhere and caught me very offguard.

[bloodorchid]

wow.. yeah, print quelsen's post off and tape it everywhere

[boomingno]

wow.. yeah, print quelsen's post off and tape it everywhere

This x 1000000000000000000.