It's one thing for me but...what about the kid?? page 2

[Chorlton]

We have similar issues with school, parties, grandparents etc --the way we figured to get by is to allow these things but where possible just to request they "go easy" on the bread/pasta if possible. The basic thought is that by being really strict we might make it hard for our kids in these situations, and they're young, a little bad stuff won't be too damaging in the greater scheme of things.

Having said that, if your kid has a reaction to some foods, WTF is up with someone feeding them that stuff? It makes no sense at all...

I hope you get this sorted out!

[Alex Good]

Look at it from the kid's point of view. She is trying to do what is healthy and your friend is forcing her to eat things that she believes are causes her pain (and they probably are causing her pain).
Not only will your friend screw her up physically, she will also give her psychological issues.

[quelsen]

Seriously if your "Friend" refuses to respect your child's clearly articulated personal choice.....

There are many megalomaniacs who's only targets are children.

this is not a light issue, how you treat the defenseless says too much about your personality and values.

this person is willing to ignore a child just because they are a child. what else are they capable of.

[JoPaleo]

The other day my ten year old daughter tells me she's going primal and that bread gives her heartburn!

Have you expressed this to your friend?

[RitaRose]

this is not a light issue, how you treat the defenseless says too much about your personality and values.

Truth.

To the OP - I do think this is an important opportunity to teach your daughter how to stand up for herself, and it's something that's best done matter of fact and as opportunities arise. It's not easy, but it gets easier with practice.

I had to teach my son to stand up to his dad, who was using him as an outlet for his anger after we divorced. After a while, my son would get an upset stomach every time he knew his dad was picking him up. I am legally not allowed to prevent a visitation with my son as long as there is no abuse (CPS doesn't use my definition), but since he was 14, my son could refuse. I never told him what to do, just told him I would back him no matter what he wanted.

The next time his dad called before a visit, my son told him he was sick (hey, baby steps). My ex knew full well he wasn't, but it empowered my son to know he had a say in his own life, and it taught my ex that bullying was going to cost him a relationship with his son. Now, years later, they have a good relationship that is loving and respectful on both sides. And my son is able to stand up for himself (and others) easily.

[magicmerl]

Being gluten sensitive is not nothing.

I would definitely talke to the mum about it and reframe it as a health choice for your daughter.

Maybe offer to provide some gluten free alternatives for your kid so that it's not an imposition on her to become a short order cook?