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Thread: It's one thing for me but...what about the kid?? page 2

  1. #11
    Chorlton's Avatar
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    We have similar issues with school, parties, grandparents etc --the way we figured to get by is to allow these things but where possible just to request they "go easy" on the bread/pasta if possible. The basic thought is that by being really strict we might make it hard for our kids in these situations, and they're young, a little bad stuff won't be too damaging in the greater scheme of things.

    Having said that, if your kid has a reaction to some foods, WTF is up with someone feeding them that stuff? It makes no sense at all...

    I hope you get this sorted out!

  2. #12
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    Look at it from the kid's point of view. She is trying to do what is healthy and your friend is forcing her to eat things that she believes are causes her pain (and they probably are causing her pain).
    Not only will your friend screw her up physically, she will also give her psychological issues.
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  3. #13
    quelsen's Avatar
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    Seriously if your "Friend" refuses to respect your child's clearly articulated personal choice.....

    There are many megalomaniacs who's only targets are children.

    this is not a light issue, how you treat the defenseless says too much about your personality and values.

    this person is willing to ignore a child just because they are a child. what else are they capable of.
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iron Fireling View Post
    The other day my ten year old daughter tells me she's going primal and that bread gives her heartburn!
    Have you expressed this to your friend?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by quelsen View Post
    this is not a light issue, how you treat the defenseless says too much about your personality and values.
    Truth.

    To the OP - I do think this is an important opportunity to teach your daughter how to stand up for herself, and it's something that's best done matter of fact and as opportunities arise. It's not easy, but it gets easier with practice.

    I had to teach my son to stand up to his dad, who was using him as an outlet for his anger after we divorced. After a while, my son would get an upset stomach every time he knew his dad was picking him up. I am legally not allowed to prevent a visitation with my son as long as there is no abuse (CPS doesn't use my definition), but since he was 14, my son could refuse. I never told him what to do, just told him I would back him no matter what he wanted.

    The next time his dad called before a visit, my son told him he was sick (hey, baby steps). My ex knew full well he wasn't, but it empowered my son to know he had a say in his own life, and it taught my ex that bullying was going to cost him a relationship with his son. Now, years later, they have a good relationship that is loving and respectful on both sides. And my son is able to stand up for himself (and others) easily.
    Last edited by RitaRose; 10-03-2012 at 04:24 PM.
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  6. #16
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    Being gluten sensitive is not nothing.

    I would definitely talke to the mum about it and reframe it as a health choice for your daughter.

    Maybe offer to provide some gluten free alternatives for your kid so that it's not an imposition on her to become a short order cook?
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  7. #17
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    Coeliac is a serious medical condition and the damage it does in the gut is cumulative. It can lead, in later life, to Crohn's disease, diverticulosis/itis (i have this and it's no joke) and having to wear a colostomy bag for the rest of your life. I suggest you get your daughter the full blood test as a first resort, and the biopsy of there is still doubt. She will then have a medical diagnosis and no intolerant person (which this woman, IMHO, is) can say she is just fussy.

    So if your child had a peanut allergy would she give her peanut butter then and watch her die with the resultant anaphylactic response? One would hope not.

    Have a look at the Coeliac Australia site
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  8. #18
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    Tell people that you're jewish, and its a Kosher thing; they will construe asking questions about it as anti-semitism.
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  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by quelsen View Post
    Seriously if your "Friend" refuses to respect your child's clearly articulated personal choice.....

    There are many megalomaniacs who's only targets are children.

    this is not a light issue, how you treat the defenseless says too much about your personality and values.

    this person is willing to ignore a child just because they are a child. what else are they capable of.
    I don't remember reading this thread back in October, but that's some profound stuff on so many levels.
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    I don't remember reading this thread back in October, but that's some profound stuff on so many levels.
    :-)

    we take too lightly the profound issues and make too much out of non issues
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