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Thread: Porn: Even less Primal than Twinkies! page 24

  1. #231
    sjmc's Avatar
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    Lauren Dubinsky: What I Wish I'd Known Before Watching Porn

    Why more and more women are using pornography | Culture | The Guardian

    I hope this doesn't make me an ugly hag, but porn-addiction really isn't a male-specific issue

  2. #232
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    Quote Originally Posted by sjmc View Post
    Lauren Dubinsky: What I Wish I'd Known Before Watching Porn

    Why more and more women are using pornography | Culture | The Guardian

    I hope this doesn't make me an ugly hag, but porn-addiction really isn't a male-specific issue
    Hmmm. Not sure what effect Lauren was going for, but what I got out of her article is that if you have previous emotional issues or little self esteem then you might not do well watching porn. Seems like anyone who stares at a fitness model magazine and then berates their perceived imperfections which leads them to orthorexic disorders are in exactly the same boat. Outlaw fashion magazines I say!

    On the other hand if you have relinquished your hang ups and accept yourself and your partner for what and who you are porn can be perfectly fine. So maybe you should have an honest look at your own psychological state before persuing any act that could be construed as "addictive". Are you comfortable with yourself? Are you confident in your ability to be rational and ignore authoritarian argument? Can you see things for what they are and are not.... especially certain acts and or actors.

  3. #233
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    It also seems like a lot of the issues in both of those articles center around shame and porn.

    What is it with shame for sexual urges in this country. There is a big part of the problem right there... going into doing a thing with the attitude that it is "wrong" and "dirty" and it makes you a "bad person". That is a part of the emotional issues that come out of this when they do.
    That people are taught that sexuality is "bad".

    Also.
    I'm still curious about the answers to these questions...
    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    But since you maintain that women don't really want sex... what's the problem with men wanting sex from real women less.
    Seem like that would work out just about right! [Doesn't it?]

    Or do you think that men should want sex from women who don't want sex and thus deny them making the man live in a constant state of dissatisfaction...
    (I've seen this in some marriages BTW, it tends to not end well.)

    Or should the woman give in to sex she does not want nor enjoy simply to allow the man to please himself [with her body]?
    (From what I've heard many men don't much enjoy this either. Sex with a partner who just bears it is not pleasant from what they say. It ends about as well as the "no sex marriages" above.)

    But still, your opinion please DB.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  4. #234
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    It also seems like a lot of the issues in both of those articles center around shame and porn.

    What is it with shame for sexual urges in this country. There is a big part of the problem right there... going into doing a thing with the attitude that it is "wrong" and "dirty" and it makes you a "bad person". That is a part of the emotional issues that come out of this when they do.
    That people are taught that sexuality is "bad".

    Also.
    I'm still curious about the answers to these questions...
    This is exactly part of what I was referring to with our "Victorian" culture.

  5. #235
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    Yes, it's still a large part of what children are taught.
    Shame of sexuality certainly leads to more problems than sexuality does.
    Hell, it leads to pretty much ALL of them.

    Fortunately I never got those "shame" messages. Being raised by hippies and all, I got lucky.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  6. #236
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    Well the author of the first article definitely has her own set of issues, but most of what she's talking about are objective problems that both sexes can encounter with excessive porn. The second article mentions that women watching sex nowadays is seen as "hip and liberating," and mentions shame/guilt with respect to addiction.

    My aim in posting them was just to provide evidence that women do watch porn (they are more than 30% of the audience) and also experience deleterious effects. Surely some of the reasons for watching are the same, and some different, and some of the negative effects the same, and some different (and of course I'm talking about at unhealthy levels, where what constitutes an unhealthy level will vary from woman to woman), and what else would we expect?

    But davidbrennan is only worried about the boys and men, while it's really a potential problem for anyone who might want to watch porn, which is everyone !
    Last edited by sjmc; 05-12-2013 at 11:21 AM. Reason: grammarz

  7. #237
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    In the Lauren Dubinsky article:

    "Later in life, I caught myself remembering how I used to watch it for a few minutes here or there, and wondered strictly out of boredom if it would fill the big, empty space of loneliness in my late nights. There were no parents around to hide from anymore, and no one checking my Internet history. Pornography was easy, and I never exactly knew why it was bad, particularly since I wasn't actually having sex. To me, it was just something dirty that you probably shouldn't have anything to do with. But "probably shouldn't" never stands up against loneliness and boredom."

    That is shame NOT in connection to addiction.
    That is shame purely in connection to watching porn,period.

    This tone makes the whole article much less objective.
    As does this...

    "I'd watch porn every night for a couple weeks, then not at all for a few weeks. Always off and on. Clearly I wasn't addicted. Just like I smoked and never became addicted to nicotine and drank, but never became an alcoholic. I was just watching it, and could stop anytime I wanted. No damage done, because I was still in control. Right?

    Not really. Nicotine still seared my lungs, and alcohol still did some decent damage to my liver and personal life. Just because we aren't addicted doesn't mean it does no harm."

    I smoke a cigar on occasion and have a few drinks. That isn't the same as having an addiction, it isn't harmful.
    Neither is it the same if I watch porn sometimes and self pleasure, the same as having a full on addiction.
    If she took it too far that is her issue, not the issue of every person...
    Again, I think her discomfort with pornography in the first passage I quoted has a lot to do with this. By some peoples standards this would not be considered overuse, but because of her ingrained idea that porn is somehow "bad" and "dirty" it took a lower level of usage for her to cause this shame in herself. That is her upbringing causing the emotional issues... not the porn.



    The second article is more general, talking about many women seeking help from therapy for porn and other sex addiction, it does not specify that not all of those women recieved messages growing up that porn/sexuality are "bad" however. Just that some do it becuse it is cool or "sex education". One at the end of the story was a self described "committed Christian" who no doubt was educated by her parents that "porn/self touching/etc is bad" as that is the norm in that type of household.

    The types of emotional issues that each woman comes away with will vary according the messages received in their upbringing.
    You have no idea the number of strictly raised religious girls that I've known that end up extremely hyper sexual as a result because they are trying to buck the system... that is not the fault of porn. That is rebellion. It was going on before porn even existed with short skirts and beer in bars.
    Can porn be over done?
    Sure... that doesn't make it "bad".
    Last edited by cori93437; 05-12-2013 at 12:02 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  8. #238
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    Right, I absolutely agree that there is nothing inherently bad about porn. I'm just agreeing that it can be overdone, and specifically, it can be overdone by women who are not already hot messes.

    The first article was a bad choice.

  9. #239
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavidBrennan View Post
    Alright, so you don't agree with the video and articles. That's cool. Some people aren't into the paleo diet, either. Different strokes for different folks.
    Clever insult aimed at cori there. You compare not agreeing with you about pornography to not being onboard with the primal diet, which on a pro-primal forum of course is a very negative thing. But then you pretend that it's not an insult by saying "that's cool" and "different strokes for different folks". Clever.

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidBrennan View Post
    So you need porn to get off?
    Did Wanderlust say that? No. Again the snyde attitude, implying things about people that aren't true.

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidBrennan View Post
    Myself and MANY other dudes, though, can admit that there is a huge, huge experiential difference between quickly jerking off to a single image and then surfing through porn (which is so addictive that two and three hours can pass without even realizing it.) Any guys wanna corroborate that?
    So actually this is all about you. You are the one with a problem. But instead of making that the focus of the thread, you pretend that it is about porn users in general. Couldn't go long without revealing the truth, though.


    You have a porn problem, okay. But don't project that on other people who watch porn, which is perfectly normal. In the past I am sure people masturbated fantasizing about women even when they didn't have pictures or movies. Somehow the species still survived.

    And those "brain on drugs" pictures? They are for ... drugs. You claim they would look the same for people watching porn ... but have absolutely no proof of that. Plus, pretty much anything can stimulate the brain in a way that makes it look strange. E.g. watching violent movies "activates the same parts of the brain as when people want to commit violence" is something thrown around often, neglecting to mention that normal TV watching activates that part of the brain too. Doesn't prove a thing.

    Hmm, let's see, how do people manage to join Mensa if they watch porn, if their brain activity is so severely damaged by it? How do they manage to get doctorates and do advanced research, if porn fries their brains?

  10. #240
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    The way porn is consumed now (tube sites) is extremely damaging compared to pop in a tape in the old days. Its not unusual for a male to surf for an hour and see 30 different naked women before ejaculation. This is the "norm" now. If you dont think someone could get overstimulation issues from that your crazy. And the tube sites that are popular now have only been in existence since 06 or so, so the ramifications may not be shown so quickly. It doesnt mean that anyone has a porn problem, but this is the way its consumed now. There are plenty of people with PhDs in neuroscience that have things on how porn screws up your brain, especially in adolescents who are watching it before full sexual development.

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