The Journal of Kelmar page

[Kelmar]

Ok, I have started a journal before and just didn't keep it up, so, I am going to attempt this again. I think my life is about to take a very stressful turn and just having somewhere to write about it and maybe get some advice would be helpful.

Just a little background...I've been primal since January of 2012. My diet and lifestyle have really evolved over the last year. The longer I'm primal the more primal I want to be! I am a 38 year old female, 5 foot 7 inches and about 118 pounds. I haven't weighed myself in so long cause really I'm not that concerned about it anymore. I was really concerned with gaining more weight but my body seems to just be stuck here and I'm guessing it's where I'm supposed to be. I'm just going to concern myself with making good choices and let me body do what it wants.

On the exercise front I'm doing Yoga usually twice a day, but I do body resistance training about 2 days a week so on those days I only do Yoga once. I was taking about an 1 hour to 1 1/2 hour walk every night but the sun is just starting to go down to early in my part of the world now, so I think walking will have to be restricted to the weekends. I also like to do hill sprints or flat sprints once a week but really havent done those in a couple of weeks. I usually practice Yoga at home but I went to a workshop at a local studio last week and really loved the instructor and her place. I'm going to start taking classes with her and am seriously considering working towards becoming a Yoga instructor. I absolutley love Yoga, it helps me in so many ways.

I will let you all know that I am a big hippie. I am working towards balancing my life mentally, physically and spiritually. I am a big believer in Ayurveda. I adore live music and music festivals. I have 8 tattoos and plan to get more.

I am very sad to see summer go, it's my favorite season. I love hot and humid weather. Fall is beautiful and I'm hoping now that I am taking Vitamin D3 everyday I'll will adjust a little better. For a fun fall activity I did take my children (I have two) to an orchard over the weekend for apple picking! We had a ball and got fresh-pressed raw apple cider, honey from their hives and 10 lbs of apples (we went a little crazy picking, lol).

I having some troubles in my marriage right now and really don't know how things are going to turn out. My husband is having trouble adjusting to my new way of life and he doesn't want to share it with me. So, stress!!

Geez how this post got long fast!! I am really going to try and keep this up this time! So very nice to be a part of this forum and learn from all you wonderful people!

Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

So yesterday was a pretty good day all in all. Started the day with some relaxing resotration Yoga, at work I had to type a patient education booklet all about being heart healthy. Pure CW wisdom and it was painful to type and know that all of our patients are going to be receiving this info!!! But, alas a paycheck is a paycheck, the day is coming though when I can spend my days in a Yoga studio and not a basement office After work I did my favorite Yoga practice, backbends. Something about opening my chest and my heart to energy really makes me feel fantastic. Camel pose has got to be my favorite right now. Anyway, for dinner I had chicken breast and green beans with butter and bacon. I know chicken breasts get a bad rap around here but I love them (cooked in butter with salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and thyme) but I can get free-range, natural fed chicken at my local grocers and I cannot get grass fed beef there, so there you go. I spent the rest of the evening reading a book about shyness. I have been shy my entire life and it's time to break out of that shell!! If I hope to be a successul Yoga teacher it's something I really need to work on!

This weekend I am going to a concert that I am super excited about but I will definatley be indulging in some alcoholic beverages, so good choices all week

Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

Good morning MDAers! Yesterday was a pretty good day, started the morning out with my body resistance training, squats, push-ups, planks, side-planks, headstand and handstand practice. I tend to get really caught up in routines and I eat pretty much the same food every workday, chia/hemp protein shake with almond milk right after working out, a kiwi and some purple grapes plus a couple walnuts and almonds when I got to work, celery with natural peanut butter (i know but I LOVE it!) and dried cherries on top for a snack, a medium spinach salad with cukes, grape tomoatoes, red peppers, chicken breast and a whole carrot on the side (dressing of olive oil and ACV) then a little dark chocolate after lunch. Dinner however did not happen last night, I went to a movie with a friend and I really don't eat out hardly ever so I just ending up skipping dinner, I was kinda hungry when I got home but not enough to make anything so I just went to bed. The movie was pretty good, "Hit and Run" it had Kristen Bell and Dax (um Shepard?) in it.

I'm so excited for Thursday to get here so I can go to Yoga with my new instructor! I'm also going to an all-day chanting meditation and Yoga workshop on November 10th that I am not very patiently waiting for

Hope all you beautiful people have a wonderful day!

Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

Happy Thursday! I am excited today because I get to go to Yoga tonight with a new instructor at a new studio. I've been to a workshop at this studio and I felt right at home when I walked in, I think it's going to be a great fit for me!

Yesterday was smooth, started the day with Sun Salutations, ate pretty much the same thing as it was a workday, I did hip-opening Yoga sequences (which I love) when I got home....Opening my hips makes me feel so grounded to the Earth's energy and it is a big tension release for me. It's amazing the emotional response something like pigeon pose has on me, sometimes chokes me up and brings tears to my eyes....amazing.

As far as dinner was concerned it was kinda slim pickins in my house as this is the week before I get paid. So again, chicken breasts cooked in butter and green beans with butter and bacon, I don't really have any sort of relationship with food so eating the same thing a lot doesnt really bother me, other than I hope that I am not missing out on any nutrients.

We are having a potluck for lunch on Friday at my work (oh yay) I will probably just bring my salad and skip the other food, but I am bringing apple slices and honey as I have 10 lbs of fresh organic apples in my fridge! This variety of apple called "Search No Furthers" are super delish, cripsy and tangy but the flavor just bursts in your mouth, yum-O!

Tommorow is Friday!! I'm going to see Gramatix and Bassnectar!! It's going to be a mind-blowing show and I am forgiving myself now for the alcohol I am going to be consuming! It will be a super late night (already have an after party planned as well) so I will be pretty much useless on Saturday but I love live music, I love to dance, and I love Bassnectar, lol, so it's all in the name of fun.

Have a great day everyone!
Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

It's finally Friday!! Yoga was fantastic last night. The instructor is very hands on and I really like her mentality and attitude. She guided me into a twist I've never been in before to show the class how the finished pose should look, it was awesome! I also found out that sometimes I go a little too deep into postures and I have a slight bit of hypermobility in my joints, I'm very grateful she pointed that out to me because injuries are NO fun at all!!

Food yesterday was same ol same ol during the day, I messed up dinner again because Yoga was from 6:00 to 7:30, I didn't get home till almost 8:00 and then just ended up eating an apple. It was a very delicious apple but geez I've got to stop skipping dinner!!

Bassnectar and Gramatix concert tonight!! I am beyond excited but it is an outside concert and I am afraid I am going to freeze. The low for tonight is supposed to be 41, I want to wear leggins, a tie-dyed crop top with black boots and a black sweater, but man I don't know, I hate being cold...of course, there will be a TON of people all packed in together so mebbe that will help keep me warm, and of course I will be dancing my ass off, so hopefully won't be too bad, guess I'll find out huh?!

Everyone have a wonderful weekend!
Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

Oh my goodness what a weekend! The show was everthing I hoped it would be, had an absolutley fantastic time. I think the "play" portion of the weekend was 100%! I danced practically constanstly from about 9:00 pm to 4:00 am!! So the fun factor of the weekend spot on

Now the eating part of the weekend?? EPIC fail. I really didn't end up drinking that much, I had two vodka drinks an about 1/2 a beer, drank water the rest of the evening on Friday. Then Saturday night went to see another band with a couple friends and had two shots of whiskey and one beer. However, I ate two pieces of pepperoni pizza on Saturday, plus some sour dough bread and a piece of carrot cake on Sunday. I try not to beat myself up too bad because I really don't indulge in stuff like that too often, and it never makes me want to give up my healthy lifestyle, just makes me so ready to hit it hard and get right back to primal come Monday. I do feel guilty though for giving in to bad choices but it happened, no taking it back now, and I really did have a whole lot of fun so....it is what it is.

I've got to go to the grocery tonight, as I blew it off this weekend, so ready to stock my cabinets back up with good food! Did some gentle Yoga this AM as the only exercise I did over the weekend was dancing and that was really just play time I'll probably do some chest opening stuff and backbends this evening after the store.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

It was so good to get back to Primal eating yesterday after my detour weekend. It's hard to believe how much my mood has improved in just a day, Sunday and yesterday I was feeling a little down and kinda moody, but today I feel so much better! It is amazing what clean food can do for you. I did body resistance stuff this morning and that probably helped my mood out as well. I've noticed that since I haven't been walking my butt is not feeling near as firm....so time to up the squat factor. I think Im going to take kind of a "grease the groove" approach and so sets of 10 thoughout the day. I sit at a desk most of the afternoon and always try and get up at least once an hour to walk around, so now I will add a set of 10 squats to that as well. I really miss my walks, but I really don't feel comfortable walking around my neighborhood after dark, have never had a problem there so far but you never can tell!

Im going to try and fit some Yoga in this evening before I get to go an watch my biggest little in her vocal program this evening. It is sure to be entertaining, I really enjoy watching and she has such a sweet voice (not that Im biased or anything, lol)

I've got a delicious looking roast to cook in the crockpot for dinner tomorrow, mmmmm I cannot wait, tasting it already, lol!

Have a great day all
Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

Good morning! The vocal concert last night was delightful! I love it when they sing acapella and all those young voices just blend together, it gives me chills and touches my heart! Everyone did a great job my pretty little one included

Food yesterday was good, pretty much same stuff during the day, I had a beef patty and green beans for dinner. I am so looking forward to the roast that is in my crockpot right now! Got potatoes, carrots and celery in there with it, yummy!

So I did not do Yoga last night and I also chose to sleep in a little this morning and did not do any this AM either. I will have to do some tonight when I get home or I will start having negative thoughts and that is no bueno.

I'm thinking this weekend might be pumpkin time hopefully it doesn't rain and I can take the kiddos to the pumpkin patch. They have a corn maze and all that fun stuff too so should be a good time. And we all love roasted pumpkin seeds!

Hope you all have a great day today
Namaste,
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

Hello again! My roast last night turned out delicious, I put in potatoes, celery, carrots, onion, garlic, salt and pepper. It practically melted in my mouth it was so tender and I think my favorite vegetable has got to be celery, I love it raw, I love it cooked, and when it has been in a crock pot all day with all those other flavors, oh yum.

The blog post was interesting this AM. As I said I am a big beliver in Ayurveda and my dosha is a very strong Vata, hence in fall I get a double dose of Vata and that can really effect me at times, I really need grounding. It's interesting that eating to balance my dosha is basically eating seasonally. And whats better in fall that nice warm hearty filling stews and root veggies? Just feels right doesn't it?

I did get my Yoga in last night (thank goodness) and did body resistance this AM. I've been doing good with the random sets of 10 squats through out the day and this weekend I will get out for some hill sprints, I've got a perfect hill right across the street from my house and it feels like it's been way too long since I've been over there!

My thoughts have been turning to Halloween. I'm going to be Mother Earth this year. It's time to hit up the thrift stores and see what I can find to make this costume. I'm thinking a long flowey dress that I can attach leaves and flowers to. Flowers in my hair (I'll wear it down with loose waves) and some cool makeup effects, I'm sure I can find some great tutorials on Youtube. I LOVE halloween, so much fun to dress up

I think that's all for today I better get my tunes on and get back to work! Listening to one of my favorites today, Medicine for the People. If you like music that speaks to you check them out, fantastic!

Peace and love
Kelmar

[Kelmar]

So I watched this special on the History Channel last night, How the Earth Made Man, it was really interesting, all about how we evolved and clues that our bodies give us to show that, such as a hiccup is really a left-over from when we were fish and just starting to come out of the water so we needed a way to be able to breath air and water....and did you know there are two different species of chimps? Regular chimps that we all know and then there is a type called Bonaboos (sp?) apparently these chimps evolved in a kind of closed off part of Africa (by rivers and such) and they didnt have much competition for resources, this made them evolve with no dark side, like they are non-violent all the time, they share everything!! Isn't that amazing?? I wish that we all had evloved that way, the world would be such a totally different place. Anyway, it was a really cool show and I enjoyed it.

I have also been pondering lately my shyness and the way if effects how I feel about myself. Sometimes I can get so down on myself really for no reason. I get all sensitive and think that no one likes me and obsess over the reasons why people don't like me and why no one wants to interact with me. I am kind of introverted in that I do like to spend time alone and I perfer to shop and walk and stuff like that alone, but I also really love people and wish that I had a larger circle of close friends, but I don't activley seek people out ya know? I am afraid that if I do then I will find out that people really don't want to be around me...so stupid. These are the problems I am trying to fix with my diet, exercise, yoga, meditation and such. I feel like I am not balanced, and it's so hard to find that balance. Uggg, probably none of that made sense but sometimes my thoughts just take a dark turn and its hard to pull out of that.

I am happy that it is Friday however, I look forward to not getting out of bed at 5 AM tomorrow. And I will go for a walk and do some hill sprints damn it...I just WILL!

Hope you all have a great weekend
Peace and love,
Kelmar