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  1. #41
    Jena's Avatar
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    I hear you on your dilemma. And it's not easy to just say beat it to someone you love over differences in food choices. But you seem to be quite unhappy as is, so something has to change. Regardless of whether she takes your eating habits seriously you need to have a serious talk with her about her only cooking for herself and not expecting you to eat leftovers as if you are the garbage disposal! If you treat your body like a garbage can for crap food just so it doesn't go bad, well, you know what happens. She obviously loves you if she has been with you for this long. I am sure there are things she thinks are important that you don't take seriously too, so just make it know to her that you don't need to to endorse your primal lifestyle, just to support you because YOU think it's important. That's part of being a couple... good luck to you both
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  2. #42
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    I think we've got a lot of differences that just can't be beaten.

    She's very CW, I'm really alternative. She knows certain food choices make her sick, but she just doesn't care. She'd rather eat the pizza that makes her so sick. Also, we have very different work ethics. As in, I go crazy without a job outside the home that's bringing in money to live, and she's perfectly happy expecting me to pay for everything, and blaming the fact the house is a mess on me 'making things intentionally difficult' (AKA I don't do EVERYTHING but put my laundry in the washer, IE pick it all up, put it in the basket, take it to the laundry room, when it's finished, I don't take it back to my room fold it, and put it away, for example) and then I have to "help" her do things like make her CW dinner...then make my own dinner...

    We HAVE talked about this, and she says she's looking for work, but...It seriously doesn't take nine months to get a McJob in this area. She refuses to learn to drive, claiming anxiety, and she also refuses to walk to the bus to look for work down near the local mall, and I know that's hurting her job prospects, but... argh, whatever.

    Anyway...I've got an ultimatum that I've given her, and we've been growing apart i the past month or so, probably because I'm not enabling her as much as I used to. I'm keeping up my end of the deal, I'm not mentioning the job, but sofar I have yet to see her keeping up with her end. (She claims that she doesn't like people to watch her work, and it's humiliating to put in all these applications and not get a call back, but...y'know, if she would just listen to me, I'm sure we could have her a job soon...and at least I'd feel better that she's DOING something...)

    Ah I see myself alone for the rest of my life after this. And y'know, I'm cool with that.

    I guess there's just challenges that we all must endure...
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  3. #43
    Jena's Avatar
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    I'm sorry... but at least you are trying to make a change. You're deciding to fix it or end it. Good for you for not being willing to go on in an unhealthy relationship. I had to make that choice once too. I also said I would probably be alone forever after that ended and so far, two years later, I have been. I am okay with it. Only recently do I truly feel like I am in a place where I could even imagine dating again. Not because I was so heart broken or anything, just because I had to get to know myself better and know that I could be happy alone. That's the really awesome part though. The ability to be happy within yourself is one of the best qualities you can ask for in a person. It makes you a great partner and obviously it makes you great on your own! Best of both worlds if you see no changes or improvements in the relationship do yourself and her a favor and just end it. Rip off that band-aid in one pull. And after that limit contact with each other to necessity only. Take it from someone who STILL works with her ex that dumped her two years ago.
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

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  4. #44
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    Ah I see myself alone for the rest of my life after this. And y'know, I'm cool with that.
    nah you'll eventually find the yin to your particular yang

    but breaks from relationships are rarely a bad thing
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  5. #45
    Iron Fireling's Avatar
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    Well, I'm sorry your girlfriend can't make a compromise with you... it does sound as if you're better apart than together. I would go nuts with a partner who expected me to earn all the money and wouldn't pull their weight around the house (and made up stupid excuses for everything).

    Still this doesn't mean you will be alone for ever Maybe just for some time to get yourself sorted out and back on your primal path! There may come a time when you meet someone who shares your worldview (at least in the parts that matter).

  6. #46
    Alex Good's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Westly View Post
    I think we've got a lot of differences that just can't be beaten.

    She's very CW, I'm really alternative. She knows certain food choices make her sick, but she just doesn't care. She'd rather eat the pizza that makes her so sick. Also, we have very different work ethics. As in, I go crazy without a job outside the home that's bringing in money to live, and she's perfectly happy expecting me to pay for everything, and blaming the fact the house is a mess on me 'making things intentionally difficult' (AKA I don't do EVERYTHING but put my laundry in the washer, IE pick it all up, put it in the basket, take it to the laundry room, when it's finished, I don't take it back to my room fold it, and put it away, for example) and then I have to "help" her do things like make her CW dinner...then make my own dinner...

    We HAVE talked about this, and she says she's looking for work, but...It seriously doesn't take nine months to get a McJob in this area. She refuses to learn to drive, claiming anxiety, and she also refuses to walk to the bus to look for work down near the local mall, and I know that's hurting her job prospects, but... argh, whatever.

    Anyway...I've got an ultimatum that I've given her, and we've been growing apart i the past month or so, probably because I'm not enabling her as much as I used to. I'm keeping up my end of the deal, I'm not mentioning the job, but sofar I have yet to see her keeping up with her end. (She claims that she doesn't like people to watch her work, and it's humiliating to put in all these applications and not get a call back, but...y'know, if she would just listen to me, I'm sure we could have her a job soon...and at least I'd feel better that she's DOING something...)

    Ah I see myself alone for the rest of my life after this. And y'know, I'm cool with that.

    I guess there's just challenges that we all must endure...
    Is the sex good?
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

  7. #47
    bloodorchid's Avatar
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    alex, i know this is hard to believe, but one day you'll discover that sometimes good sex can't cover douchey behaviors

    i know, the knowledge hurts, just let it sink in while i ready the neosporin
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    I mean there's so many ants in my eyes! And there are so many TVs, microwaves, radios... I think, I can't, I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock.. I don't know because I can't see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren't too low!

  8. #48
    Mud Flinger's Avatar
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    Another thing to consider is that the more time you put into a failing relationship is the longer it will be before you can get into a good one. I'm sad to say it, but you are enabling her to be a cripple to herself. Do you think she would allow all these "phobias" if she were starving or out on the street? She needs to suck it up and get out there. She may discover that she's really good at and enjoys something and since when is it embarrassing to have someone see you work? Sad but it sounds like you actually may be in each others way here.

  9. #49
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    You know what, once you get that negative energy out of your life, good things will happen. I can speak from experience

    Keep up the positive progress! Howl at the moon!

  10. #50
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    pbj
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Here's a thought.... YOU COOK.

    Cook and shop for your own ass. My husband eats ice cream and bread. I don't. If I can ignore him, you can ignore her.
    +1
    my info:

    If you can't tell the truth about yourself, you can't tell it about other people --- Virginia Woolf

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