You keep asking what should you shoot for with fat. What you should shoot for is protein. Determine your protein requirement, which should be between .6g and 1g per pound of lean body mass (that's your weight less all your fat, probably around 100-105lbs, this is not your goal weight). Try to stay in that range of protein each day.
If you want to lose weight, your body will be trained on a low carb diet to burn fat for energy. But if you don't reduce the fat, it won't have to use it's own stores. So fat is where you will need to reduce your calories. If you prefer not to reduce carbs, then you'll just have to reduce calories overall from both fat and carbs. You can also train your body to burn fat for energy with slow exercise like walking.
Sadly, there is always some hunger when you are losing weight. But I found that with a low carb diet the hunger was vastly reduced. Not everybody experiences this though.
If your hormones really are all messed up, you may have to endure a lengthy period of time just letting your body heal. Being able to eat satisfying, nourishing food and not gain weight will be a blessing during this time and will likely be your experience so long as you don't overeat. But don't undereat, either. You can't afford the stress of that. Your two menu plans appear to be a little light on food. If I were you, I'd skip all the added fatty things (whipped cream, coconut milk, nuts) and just eat real food to satisfaction, cooking in enough fat to get the job done or make a dish tasty, in sensible portions.
I started this diet with beginning stages of metabolic syndrome, not menopause or hypothyroidism (although I've always tested a little on the low side). During the entire time on this diet I have not ever actually gained any weight even when I have way overdone it, which I think is a miracle. It's also a miracle how amazingly healthy I feel after a year of this.
Female, 5'3", 50, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
I can squat 187.5lbs, press 75lbs and deadlift 200lbs