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Thread: Ugh, Being Nice Feels Crappy page

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    Mr. Anthony's Avatar
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    Ugh, Being Nice Feels Crappy

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    A friend and his girlfriend wanted me over for dinner so I could go over some documents with them. I knew she was going to be probably making some kind of pasta dish or something similar, so I wasn't looking too forward to it. She's one of those people who would be crestfallen if I didn't eat her food, so I had already made peace with this being the one meal in the last several weeks that I hadn't made for myself. I eat really clean, and wasn't going to stress about one meal. No big deal.

    Sure enough, manicotti, garlic bread, Brussels sprouts, brownie, ice cream (she also constantly gripes about putting some weight on even though she's running and riding a bike a lot). Had a little of everything, and now feel sluggish, burping a lot, kind of gross overall. Oh well. Good training for the Great American Beer Festival in a few weeks, where I already know I'm taking the weekend 100% off, I guess. I don't worry about a few times a year of just going crazy, since I don't have cravings or food issues or anything. Just treat it like the occasional drinking binge for special occasions.

    Still feel kinda gross though.

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    Jena's Avatar
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    I make a couple exceptions to primal... we'll call it my 20%. One of those exceptions... beer, wonderful delicious beer. Not necessarily often, but when I do indulge, I really indulge
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

    My journal - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread66276.html

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    i always choose the relationship with the people over primal in situations like this. but, when i want to stay on plan it's good to accept the invite and offer to help cook. take that meal you were served...i would say this, "i would love to help you out in the kitchen. have you ever tried manicotti using seasoned zucchini instead of noodles..."
    not only does that strengthen the relationship and make tastier, primalier food, it also--hopefully--opens them up to a fully primal meal next time.

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    Sabine's Avatar
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    The title of your post intrigued me.

    (This is NOT to say one might not/should not choose to eat something that disagrees with them for social reasons sometimes. Just some stuff that popped into my head.)

    Interesting how often we put ourselves at the bottom of the pile, and cause ourselves physical/health distress to be social. I wonder how it would come across if it were framed as what it actually were? "I will raise my blood sugar to dangerous levels, suffer three hours of gas pains, and struggle with fatigue tomorrow to show I care about you."

    Is there anything besides food that we do that with? Is there any polite way of getting the information across?

    Once a friend asked me to 'whip out' a quilt for her. I told her that although she was a good friend, she didn't know what she was asking. 'Whipping out a quilt' just can't be done. She thought she was asking for an easy thing that would be fun for me to do. What she was really asking for was something that would cost me $200 in materials and 40+ hours of time.

    Likewise, our friends think they are offering something good, when they are really asking for a sacrifice. And there is (not yet) a socially acceptable way to point that out to them.

    So, you were nice to them, at the cost of being horrid to yourself.

    What if every time you ate pasta, you had to slice your arm? As long as you cleaned it and slapped a band-aid on that sucker, it would probably cause you less discomfort than what you did go through. But our friends would be aghast! "You mean you have to BLEED to eat my pasta!?!" What happens to us is less visible, but no less (and maybe more) damaging. It just isn't acceptable to talk about it, or even try to avoid it, according to some people.

    Well, this probably isn't what you intended at all from your post (much like gas from pasta!) but you got me thinking.

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    UniqueTII's Avatar
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    I am not willing to eat garbage for the sake of my friends' feelings, and I have yet to find a single person who has an issue with it. They all, however, are more than appreciative when I cook for them!
    I wish I liked to eat liver.

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    Mr. Anthony's Avatar
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    Yeah, normally I would've helped out and made something better, or brought a dish, or whatever, but I had just gotten done working and went over there. I think you guys are more worried about it than I was; I just felt less than optimal for a few hours. Normally eating is just like throwing some more fuel into the tank of a great-running sports car. Last night it was more like dropping in some substandard fuel and having to let it burn off. Not a big deal, but it did help reinforce how good I always feel primal.

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    I hate having a food hangover after a night of eating crap. At least it was just one night & it didn't send you into an uncontrolled SAD binge.
    I think once you've been primal for a while our bodies can recover a lot faster from crap food.
    Start Weight: 63.6kg/140lbs
    Goal Weight: 54kg/118lbs

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    Why not just say ahead of time, "my body is sensitive to grains so I tend to avoid them, and I'm watching my sugar because I don't want to get diabetes. You don't have to change what you're making, just please don't be offended if I don't eat everything"?

    I would've gone and eaten a bunch of brussel sprouts, then claimed fullness. But I'm not as nice as some of you; I'm willing to offend my friends for the sake of my health. For me, a banana w/ peanut butter is a cheat. A beer is a cheat. Ice cream is a big HELL NO and offering it to me earns you a lecture on the dangers of rBGH in milk (causes breast and colon cancers, among other things), and I don't feel bad about making you feel bad about your food choices, because I just might be saving your life.

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    Monika's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabine View Post
    The title of your post intrigued me.

    So, you were nice to them, at the cost of being horrid to yourself.

    What if every time you ate pasta, you had to slice your arm? As long as you cleaned it and slapped a band-aid on that sucker, it would probably cause you less discomfort than what you did go through. But our friends would be aghast! "You mean you have to BLEED to eat my pasta!?!" What happens to us is less visible, but no less (and maybe more) damaging. It just isn't acceptable to talk about it, or even try to avoid it, according to some people.

    Well, this probably isn't what you intended at all from your post (much like gas from pasta!) but you got me thinking.
    Sabine...I found this to be quite profound. Nicely put.

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    Dirlot's Avatar
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    I appreciate you took one for the team under 80/20 but for me I would probably pull the wheat card, OR eat before hand and have a small please/thank you portion.
    Eating primal is not a diet, it is a way of life.
    PS
    Don't forget to play!

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