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Thread: Giving up on husband page 2

  1. #11
    Jena's Avatar
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    That's rough. It has to be heart breaking to see someone you love lose his health, especially when it's preventable by something as simple as diet. Sorry, some people are just unwilling to change.
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
    i don't think so, kenn.

    I don't see anything there that says "grass is greener" or that she's looking elsewhere. Rather, she's just sad that he's not interested in taking care of his health *now* which would improve the quality of his life later. And thereby also the quality of her life later, too.

    I think it's ok to be upset about that -- about the quality of life and mortality of your partner. It's normal even.
    But there is also the matter of perspective. My wife is convinced that I'm hastening my death by being primal. I have to tell her to back off. Conversely, there is no point me telling her about her unhealthy ways because she won't hear it. In the end, one of us will watch the other decline. It's in the contract
    Four years Primal with influences from Jaminet & Shanahan and a focus on being anti-inflammatory. Using Primal to treat CVD and prevent stents from blocking free of drugs.

    Eat creatures nose-to-tail (animal, fowl, fish, crustacea, molluscs), a large variety of vegetables (raw, cooked and fermented, including safe starches), dairy (cheese & yoghurt), occasional fruit, cocoa, turmeric & red wine

  3. #13
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    Yes, and I think that's what she was referring to. She's in the contract, she's aware of it.

    And yes, it is a matter of perspective.

  4. #14
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    *sigh*

    As they say... Opposites attract!

  5. #15
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    I feel the same about my dear wife. she is 15 years younger than I, eats a terrible diet an"d is smart enough to cook up a life philosophy to " Justify" her life choices. She is terrified of me dieing and leaving her alone so she seems to be trying to hurt herself to prevent this from happening. I hate having to watch her do this but saying anything just makes her mad. She claims to be a moral vegetarian and hates meat but will eat it happily if I make it, hunh? Of course her diet is based on bagels, strawberries, lowfat yogurt, hummus and sugar in myriad forms. I love her but she is an idiot sometimes, I guess she just has to get sick enough to wake her up but it is like watching a frog slowly adjusting to get boiled.
    Primal since April 2012 Male 6' 3" SW 345lbs CW 240lbs GW 220lbs and when I get there I am getting a utlikilt. This one http://www.utilikilts.com/company/pr...ilts/workmans/ actually.

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  6. #16
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    My partner is the same. I've also given up on him, not that I was trying to convince him all that terribly much. But I've decided that I have to pay a "tax" to eat a steak, which is that I have to buy the steak and I have to buy something from Trader Joe's that he can eat so I can have a dang steak or a grass-fed lamb chop and not get the stink-eye. So frozen tamales for him, grass-fed beef for me.

    He actually said to me that he's the total opposite of me and can't eat this way. Well yes, he is the total opposite of me:
    * I feel young, he feels old
    * I am healthy, he is unhealthy
    * My chronic aches and pains are gone, he takes pills and applies ice packs every single day for chronic pain
    * I am happy and cheerful, he is depressive, moody and irritable
    * My mind feels clear and focused, he complains of brain fog
    * My health improves more and more, he has a cardiologist now
    * I usually sleep well, he cannot sleep without psychiatric medications and even then he says he can't sleep
    * My digestive system works great, he claims he has not had a normal bowel movement for as long as he can remember (it sounds like IBS to me)
    * My skin looks pretty good and I feel healthy, he complains every day of chest pain or back pain or digestive problems or upset stomach

    So, if I want what he has, I'll do what he does. If he ever finds a cure, maybe I'll change my ways. But I'm not betting on it.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
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  7. #17
    not on the rug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    My partner is the same. I've also given up on him, not that I was trying to convince him all that terribly much. But I've decided that I have to pay a "tax" to eat a steak, which is that I have to buy the steak and I have to buy something from Trader Joe's that he can eat so I can have a dang steak or a grass-fed lamb chop and not get the stink-eye. So frozen tamales for him, grass-fed beef for me.

    He actually said to me that he's the total opposite of me and can't eat this way. Well yes, he is the total opposite of me:
    * I feel young, he feels old
    * I am healthy, he is unhealthy
    * My chronic aches and pains are gone, he takes pills and applies ice packs every single day for chronic pain
    * I am happy and cheerful, he is depressive, moody and irritable
    * My mind feels clear and focused, he complains of brain fog
    * My health improves more and more, he has a cardiologist now
    * I usually sleep well, he cannot sleep without psychiatric medications and even then he says he can't sleep
    * My digestive system works great, he claims he has not had a normal bowel movement for as long as he can remember (it sounds like IBS to me)
    * My skin looks pretty good and I feel healthy, he complains every day of chest pain or back pain or digestive problems or upset stomach

    So, if I want what he has, I'll do what he does. If he ever finds a cure, maybe I'll change my ways. But I'm not betting on it.
    sounds like he's pretty miserable to be around. and btw.. what kind of man chooses frozen tamales over grassfed meat? wtf?

  8. #18
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    Many Dietitians cant get their partners to eat "healthy" either.

    Perhaps you feel you know whats right, your partner may not feel the same, or doesn't share the same discipline when it comes to nutrition.

    Like I often say to my wife...

    "dont try to change me baby"
    Last edited by BigJilm; 09-28-2012 at 06:08 AM.
    I'll be back

  9. #19
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    My father will be 70 in November. He had his first heart attack when he was 44 and has had 3 more since then as well as 2 strokes. He has insulin dependent Type II diabetes. His father died of a heart attack at 35 and his mother died of diabetes related complications in her early seventies. Sunday, for the second time in the last couple of months, my mother had to call the paramedics because his blood sugar bottomed out and he was delusional, did not recognize her, etc. He refuses to change anything. I am past sad. I am angry. My son is 25 and weighs somewhere between 250 and 300. He eats just like his grandfather and they both think it is funny. I know how hard it is to watch those you love slowly kill themselves. I am so very sorry.
    You know all those things you have always wanted to do? You should go do them.

    Nah.. I was always aware "they" were out to get me.. even before I became Primal..... Now I can just run faster if they find me-Dino Hunter

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  10. #20
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    I am also dealing with the same thing....heart goes out to you! My husband has told me he is just "not that into me" anymore, because I have decided to live the way I want to live and be healthy....I don't like to sit around eating crap and watching TV all the time....I want to live...I guess it is what it is....
    I treat my body like a temple.....to nourish the Goddess who lives inside

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