Not sure if this is meant to be a joke or not, but I find it pretty damn hilarious.
This is the method I use for getting stronger. It excersices both your muslces and cardiovascular system. It uses one half of the pyramid method, supersets and a form of Hany's FST-7 routine. It's not for the beginner as it would amount to extreme over-training. It's probably good if you're on a platter.
I use this routine individually on biceps, back, shoulders, chest and upper legs. I do a shorter version on calves and traps, still with the 7 sets to finish and a completely diferent routine for abs as they're a right b*stard.
1. Take 10 gram of Creatine 30 mins prior to training
2. Drink a strong cup of coffee or green tea or anything with caffeine in it, 30 mins prior to training
3. Get some top tunes on your player
4. Don't bother warming up
1. Turn up the tunes
2. Start with your big excercise, for example; bench for chest, shoulder press for shoulders, some form of lat pull-down for back, preacher curls for bicep, flat bench tricep extensions for triceps, leg press for leg, Smith-machine or barbell shrugs for traps, machine calf raises for calfs; and do a light-ish wieght for a 10. That's your warm up.
3. Do some more sets, increasing the weight each time and throw in some stretching between them. I normally do 3 or 4 sets before I get to the maximum below
4. Do this until you get to the weight that you can lift for about 1 - 4 reps with. Before you do this set, wait 3 mins for your strength to at it's maximum. Now do your set and then, on exhaustion, immediately rep out with the weight from number 2, again to exhaustion.
5. Find another related excersie and do it for 10 reps, immediately dropping down for a lighter weight for another 10 reps
6. Repeat the above with another related excersie for 10 and then 10 light
7. Take every possible opportunity to look at yourself in the big ass gym mirror and say to yourself, or out loud, "I AM THE MAN!" or, not wanting to be sexist here, "I AM THE BIRD!"
8. 7 is optional, apart from the mirror looking, that's out of your control once you've got some size
1. Pick a related excersise that you're comfortable doing 10 of.
2. Do a set of 10
3. Wait 30 seconds to a minute and repeat
4. Do this 7 times in total
Repeat all of the above on a related muscle group. The routine should take about an hour. Finish off with abs or the punch bag or nothing. Remember, if you go on the bag, you are the man. Treat the bag like an adversery in the pub. Sneak up on it, sucker punch it and head butt it. Hit it with the water machine until it cries and begs you to stop.
Also, stare at the ass of every member of the oposite sex at all times and try and get eye contact where ever possible, as they will be most definitely impressed at this stage. Note: nothing will ever come of this, except maybe the loss of your gym membership. Although that's actually unlikely in my experience. In fact I've never seen anyone lose a gym membership, no matter how many paper towels they left strewn around the place.
Eat protein-rich Paleo but make sure you've got some carbs in there to help move the nutrients to your muscles. This is the time when it's OK to have fruit.
I was being serious but I appear to have gone off on various tangents. I do this in client meetings and then lose the business.
There is a good workout in there. The 7 set bit is awesome, especially if you've a body part that won't grow. Not your penis, your biceps or something.