Stubborn people and refusing to fix health problems page 5

[zoebird]

RachelW: are you out on your own, or do you live with family?

Because my family has no clue what is on our grocery list. Thus, they don't complain about it.

But, when they visit, they do complain about it. Not so much to us -- we look fit and healthy and we are fit and healthy so obviously it works -- but then when they have to do it. My parents ate primal PLUS cookies, cakes, and diet coke throughout the whole trip and gained weight (no duh), and complained that the diet "didn't have enough carbs." SO they had to eat those cookies and cakes!

My ILs are . . . I dunno. . . judgmental. If their friends aren't doing it, it's wrong/bad, so it doesn't matter what we do. DH and I have decided not to talk about it AND not to do primal for them (in their meals when they visit). We are doing an IF protocol which we plan to continue for the next 3-6 months to see how it rolls out.

For most of the holiday, breakfast will be on their own at the hostel, and we'll be meeting them after. DH will provide them with instant oatmeal packets and cereal and milk -- as to their preference. We will have lunch together, which will be salads and veg, eggs and/or chicken, and fruit. We will also have dinner together which will be fish or red meat and veg, but DH is going to provide bread and butter for his parents.

The only rough patches will be when we are all together. We are going to a bach (holiday home) for 4 days and will all be together. This means that they will observe us not eating breakfast. DS will of course have his usual, massive breakfast -- i'm sure they'll be critical of that, too. LOL But, we'll still provide them with lunch/dinner that isn't primal.

The way I see it is that the holiday is the wrong time to try and convert someone. My aunt wasn't fussy at all, but I'd forgotten who my parents were. I know my ILs, which means we need to keep things as comfortable for them as humanly possible.

And, the reality is that the carb flu plus holidays isn't great. so to push someone to that place isn't a great idea. Thus, we avoid it at all costs.

I'm happy doing what I'm doing. I don't need to convert anyone OR explain myself to anyone.

[Dirlot]

The saga continues, I will purchase the gaps book for them, but I don't think it will help I tried explaining to them that grains are not as necessary and helpful as they are made out to be. Now my parents harp on me about my grocery list and insist that I need bread and grains, I have lost a bit of weight and they say it's not because of my decreased calories or exercise(I just don't have flash cravings and binges like I used to), they say it's because without grains my body is not absorbing food and that is why I have lost weight. They say I am "killing myself" and "becoming anorexic", and that if I keep it up I will need an eating disorder clinic. I know this is BS, my skin is clearer and softer, my hair is finally gaining density and less is falling out, I am 2 sizes smaller, I sleep better, and I recover from colds more quickly. The real kicker is this: my sister is overweight, and she now feels bad because I weigh less and I am taller, so mom and dad think I should consider the feelings of others, because my improved health makes them feel bad. I give up, I am not going to bother anymore. This backlash has been going on since june, I am not going to argue with them anymore.

Wow that line got me....they have serious issues. I know they are family but wishing for you to be unhealthy is bordering on abuse.

[PrimalMama]

Wow that line got me....they have serious issues. I know they are family but wishing for you to be unhealthy is bordering on abuse.

Exactly what Dirlot said - SERIOUSLY.

[magnolia1973]

It makes me stabby when people think primal is somehow extreme. Last night I ate london broil with chimmachurri sauce, roasted squash and a salad. What exactly is so far out of good eating about that meal? The night before, I had a steak salad. The night before that was chicken with sweet potatoe and sugar snap peas.

Why is that unhealthy, yet sugar free, fat free yogurt with chemicals is? Or "whole grain cereal" with a bazillion ingredients? Or people that fast food 3 meals a day? It's like holy crap- meat, veggies and fruit- you're going to DIE from malnutrition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like somehow a Value meal with a burger, fries, and soda is somehow more rounded because there is a bun. Filled with HFCS. Or a Lean Cuisine with 6,758 ingredients, 2 recognizable pieces of vegetable, questionable meat is somehow better because it includes a cup of rice?

[magnolia1973]

The fucked up thing is that I can promise you I was a grain and sugar addict to nth degree and resisted giving them up and was in denial.... and once they were gone, all the sudden it was good. I never, EVER feel deprived. I never even think, "boy, I want some bread". As a vegetarian, holy crap, I DREAMED of meat.

[zoebird]

Wow, your being fit and healthy makes other people feel bad?

Crazy.

[Iron Fireling]

Ugh you're healthier and slimmer than your sister so you need to stop and get unhealthy so she doesn't feel bad?! There's something seriously wrong there.

And OMG I am sick of the people who freak out because primal eating has no grains. ARGH. Like...the weight loss course I went to with my son, they were saying how pasta is a "staple" food, like bread. And yet meat... is not staple. And butter... is verboten! Because something that has been PROCESSED to make it is somehow more of a "food" than stuff that is... well just food.

Fortunately, I find cooking a primal dinner just looks pretty "normal"... I mean, it's meat and veg! But primal lunches seem less normal (cause everyone has sandwiches, or at least SOMETHING with a grain...) and as for breakfast... If you're not eating a big bowl of "healthy" cereal, then it must be awful!!

Gah... I hate discussing what I eat with people. I just want people to leave me the hell alone to eat the way I like!

[jenn26point2]

I'm with everyone else in regard to your family telling you that your getting fit makes them feel bad and you should stop. Bullshit! Do what makes YOU feel good. If they feel bad b/c you're getting healthy, it's because THEY are jealous or feel guilty that they aren't doing the same. YOU can't control their feelings and THEY can't control your health. Do what's right for you. Lead by example and hopefully they'll come on board.

I notice that women who have Fibromyalgia have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and they obsess about it. So they go to doctors who give them pain killers, etc.

For my MIL, if the info didn't come from the University of Iowa or the Mayo Clinic, then she doesn't believe it. *eye roll* The Mayo has her on a course of action that will eliminate her need for prescription meds... sure enough, she's not taking prescription meds anymore, but last I heard she's using illegal narcotics cooked into brownies to ease her pain... The moment I found that out, our relationship changed SIGNIFICANTLY as I have zero tolerance for drugs. It's really too bad b/c even if I found out she wasn't using them anymore, I think our relationship would still be strained simply b/c of the way I eat and the fact that it "failed" for her... whatever. Don't care. It's not my pain. My pain is gone. (I didn't have fibro, but I had a lot of sciatic issues and back soreness that went away nearly completely since going Primal - not to mention the 37 lbs and 30 inches. )