Stubborn people and refusing to fix health problems page 3

[Chaohinon]

Instead of preaching dietary principles verbally, I prefer subterfuge.

Cook them an awesome meal that happens to be primal. I did this when my (mildly autistic/aspergers, has had horrendous gut issues his whole life) friend got kicked out by his evil bitch wife. My girlfriend and I took him in while he got back on his feet, and he was pretty much forced to eat the way we do. 3 months later, I mention the paleo diet and what it entails, and he gets this wide-eyed revelatory look and says, "you know, ever since I moved in with you, I've felt so much better in almost every way."

Just make sure to include some sort of gluten-free starch for people transitioning, and keep the fat at reasonable levels, and as long as it tastes good I don't see how anyone could say no. What kind of psychopath would turn down a juicy steak and a sweet potato?

[SarahW]

[FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=3]as someone who dealt with disordered eating for decades, juice fasting like this is one of the WORST things you can do. it's a sugar fest. you juice the veggies and fruits, remove the fiber and drink the remaining sugars. it's an insulin merry-go-round. for somebody that lives on crap food, drinking kale and beet juice for 2 weeks is damaging -- not healthy, in any way.

Oh, yeah, I don't think juicing is healthy. But one of the nice things about starting Primal with 16 days of FSND (we only did juicing-only a few days of that) was that my husband was thrilled to eat meat again, so now he feels that Primal isn't deprivation at all, it is living in the lap of food luxury (though he still sometimes talks about nutella on bread, idiot, he still such a sugar-addict).

I think a small amount of juicing can be okay for people with severe auto-immune and leaky-gut issues, which is what Phil and Joe (the guys in FSND) had. Why? I read the FSND forums, and everyone was like "what about fiber?!?" But then when people share TMI a lot of them are still crapping great amounts. After reading Gut Sense a few days ago about how some people have an incredible backlog in their intestines from eating way too much fiber and other crappy processed foods, and how a lot of people have damaged their guts, I think an almost-no-volume eating plan for a short amount of time could be helpful. The body stores enough b12 and other nutrients to tide the person over until they start eating easily-digested fats and build out from there. I know Gut Sense has supplements to solve this whole thing, but I am much more in favor of solving digestion issues with actual food.

But yes, the sugar rush is a problem. Some of the FSND recipes include putting olive oil in the juices (yummy? not really). But what is the sugar load of cabbage and cucumber anyways? Granted, when I mentioned juicing to people we knew and they said they had done it before they always went on to say "but you have to add lots of apples to make it taste good." If I was a much ruder person I would have said "yes, and you are obviously still quite obese." But since I am a nice person I just thought it. I was, at least, very careful with the amount of apples and carrots.

If nothing else, juicing keeps people away from grains and legumes, which also heals their gut. The fact that Joe and Phil have to go back on juicing a few times a year to re-heal their guts was the thing that led me on my search that landed me here.

[zoebird]

Subterfuge really only works when you live with the people, though. And, if they don't have an idea that you are doing something "different."

When my parents came on their holiday, they were doing "south beach phase 1" and I thought "great, that's primal" when I looked it up. So, I figured we'd be golden.

Unfortunately, because my parents were very stressed (they hate to travel), and for whatever reason our diet is not SB1 in their minds (it's completely different!), our diet was unhealthy and they "needed more carbs!" So pretty much any time we stopped to ask for directions, get gas, or see the view, if there was a cafe or shop, they were getting cakes, cookies, or muffins. My mother also insisted that she needed more protein and bought milk at nearly every stop.

They were very angry with us that they 'gained weight on their holiday' due to our horrible diet. I lost weight on our holiday. I always loose weight when I'm on holiday becuase I tend to eat much cleaner (don't know why). But what they didn't realize is that they were eating about 1800-2200 calories per day of primal foods PLUS then another 400-600 calories (or more) of desserts and milk. Weird, really.

Thing is, as stress eaters and emotional eaters, they have a real strong denial factor about their own process in it. Literally, my mom will tell me "You know me, I NEVER eat desserts" while she's eating the 4th dessert I've seen her eat that week.

[Iron Fireling]

Life is unfair... that's just the way it works. I tell my kids the same thing, especially my older son who complains about how his siblings can eat more than he can, and yet he's the overweight one. I just tell them, "Life wasn't meant to be fair, you've got to learn to deal with it!". The fact is, some people can eat rubbish all their lives and get away with it. Others eat a relatively healthy diet and end up sick. You either make the best of what you've got, or you give up. Sometimes I still feel it's "unfair" that everyone else I know seems to be normal sized, but not me. But that's just the way it is. I either live with it, or I bitch and moan about it and feel miserable.

Your sister has a choice... she either suffers with her illness, or she changes her diet and lifestyle, no matter how "unfair" it may be. There are other people out there in worse situations, kids dying of cancer etc. etc. That's surely worse than eating a "restrictive" diet (not that I think it's THAT restrictive...but that's another story).

[Pollyanna12]

My OH has a plethora of medical problems, including obesity, Crohns and galloping inflammation. His diet is appalling - all bread and cereals. Fruit and veg hardly ever crossed his lips before I came on the scene, and he is incredibly picky about them even now. I think it all comes form the diet he found worked when the Crohns was in its galloping phase in his 20s. He refuses point blank to listen to me about his diet, so I have resorted to subterfuge. I cook good food daily and try to keep the meals he has with me away from grains, as I don't eat them. I leave him a raw milk smoothie on the counter from time to time. Slowly, slowly he's getting more good food and less bad food. He also has the example of me in front of him, looking and feeling as fit as a fiddle, and shaking off all the viruses and colds he gets on a regular basis.

I'm hoping that eventually he will get the message and join in properly. In th emeantime, I do what I can to sneak good foods into his diet.

[Annieh]

I'm hoping that eventually he will get the message and join in properly. In th emeantime, I do what I can to sneak good foods into his diet.

Good strategy Pollyanna, that's pretty much what I do for my dh. I really wish he would make more positive choices for himself though. Like, how hard is it to choose juice over sugary softdrink? Wish my mum hadn't brought it over, now that it's here and he knows it, I can hardly tip it down the sink which is what I feel like doing.

[Twibble]

"I'm sorry, I don't know what magic pill you're looking for."

[Dirlot]

There was the big joke that we are all orthorexia here, I wonder they should call the avoidance of healthy foods?

[sbhikes]

You're right, Nady, and that poses a dilemma when invited to a pot luck meal, for example. How do you express love with food? The other guests may appreciate a cake or lasagne or whatever and feel loved. But I would feel bad supplying it to them. On the other hand, if I make something primal, like almond and banana cheesecake, and it goes to waste then I feel like they haven't been able to receive the love I wanted to give. (As well as wanting to rescue the cheesecake before it gets thrown out!)

What I do for potlucks is I bring traditional potluck stuff. A nice tuna casserole filled with pasta and cream of mushroom soup, for example. I don't worry if there's nothing I can eat. I can always eat later. Or before, for that matter.

I attend a breakfast meeting once a week. We take turns so it's not exactly a potluck. At least 80% of the time there is nothing for me to eat. I just have a cup of coffee and enjoy the company. Next time it's my turn I'm going to bring cereal and milk. Maybe poptarts and yoplait. I don't care about the food anymore. I can feed myself.

our diet was unhealthy and they "needed more carbs!" So pretty much any time we stopped to ask for directions, get gas, or see the view, if there was a cafe or shop, they were getting cakes, cookies, or muffins. My mother also insisted that she needed more protein and bought milk at nearly every stop.

They were very angry with us that they 'gained weight on their holiday' due to our horrible diet. I lost weight on our holiday. I always loose weight when I'm on holiday becuase I tend to eat much cleaner (don't know why). But what they didn't realize is that they were eating about 1800-2200 calories per day of primal foods PLUS then another 400-600 calories (or more) of desserts and milk. Weird, really.

This is one thing I just can't figure out. My diet is so unhealthy? I served a lamb chop with spearmint pesto, a half an acorn squash with olive oil and some sliced tomatoes and my partner cringes at "all that fat". After dinner he eats two bowls of pistachios. The other day he at half a bag of corn chips. He'll eat half a pound of M&Ms in one sitting. Oh yeah, but a small piece of meat and some vegetables with healthy oils is "too much fat" and I'm killing him?

(By the way, I tend to lose weight on vacation, too, and not always because my vacations tend to be backpack trips, but also because I get a kick out of making good choices on vacation. It really is possible.)

I'm hoping that eventually he will get the message and join in properly. In the meantime, I do what I can to sneak good foods into his diet.

I do that too, but I have to tell you that it's NOT WORKING. I think now it's maybe the worst thing I could do. Because while he is noshing on the chips and thinking that's not a problem, when he gets ill, he can turn to me and blame me for making him eat lamb chops.

I think what I am going to do is stock up on chicken thighs and plain white fish and every night when I cook he'll get a steamed thigh or piece of fish and steamed vegetables. Every freaking night. If that doesn't cure his heart problems, then he'll HAVE to examine the rest of his diet and his poor stress management. Or not. Whatever. At least he won't be able to blame me.

[Sabine]

It was almost a visceral reaction, like if we told them we were becoming cannibals.

I think I'm going to have to just try saying, 'Oh, I'm a cannibal,' the next time someone asks me how I did it. Too irresistible.