Stubborn people and refusing to fix health problems page 2

[SarahW]

What it would be is pretty inadvisable.

Would it would mean is a rather large intake of a raw brassica, which is a goitrogen:

I may have exaggerated a bit. You also juice a lot of tomatoes, beets, cucumber, bell peppers, spinach, cabbage, onion, carrots, peas, and broccoli - in other words lots of nightshades and other goitrogen substances.

But - but, I think that teenage girl probably deserves a 2-week juice fast. That will show her what "deprivation" actually looks like. Plus, her intestines probably need a good long rest.

[BennettC]

Juicing...gross!

[Drumroll]

I have a friend who commented that I look so healthy, I'm in good shape and would I tell him how I did it? Sure, I'm willing to help a friend out. He's VERY overweight anyway. Dangerously so, and it's all in the gut too, the most risky place to hold such extra weight.

So I told him I engage in light/moderate exercise a few times a week, I go on LONG walks regularly, and I eat a very low-carb/high fat diet. I was just getting to the primal blueprint and reducing inflammation when he interrupted me.

"I want to get healthy, not KILL myself man. What you're doing is actually slowly wasting to nothing. I get it now!" He went on to explain that low-carb diets are akin to a dangerous mania and a dangerous plague on society, destroying our health.

I said, "fine, discussion over. Don't ask me for advice EVER again."

If he can complement me one second and tell me I'm killing myself with a dangerous, psychological mania the next second, I don't want to be a part of THAT conversation.

I think it's less that he ACTUALLY thinks I'm killing myself, but he's threatened by how easy it actually is. People WANT it to be hard so that they can have an excuse for not doing anything about it. When they realize it's easy, they feel uncomfortable about the fact that they no longer have any excuse for inaction.

[noodletoy]

I may have exaggerated a bit. You also juice a lot of tomatoes, beets, cucumber, bell peppers, spinach, cabbage, onion, carrots, peas, and broccoli - in other words lots of nightshades and other goitrogen substances.

But - but, I think that teenage girl probably deserves a 2-week juice fast. That will show her what "deprivation" actually looks like. Plus, her intestines probably need a good long rest.

as someone who dealt with disordered eating for decades, juice fasting like this is one of the WORST things you can do. it's a sugar fest. you juice the veggies and fruits, remove the fiber and drink the remaining sugars. it's an insulin merry-go-round. for somebody that lives on crap food, drinking kale and beet juice for 2 weeks is damaging -- not healthy, in any way.

i have no problem with actual fasting, and do it myself now -- wholly. but that's because my insulin is safely regulated by my everyday diet.

[Jena]

My only question is how did you turn out to be proactive about your health and have a sense of accountability? Your family has some nerve in my opinion. I would just tell them you are done trying to help someone that refuses to help themselves. If they get mad they will either get over it and change or not. That is their choice, not yours.

[Scott F]

Hell, my family is so stubborn they won't even read look a book I ask them to.

[Annieh]

People are addicted to the carbs.

Funny, when my husband convinced me to do the FSND reboot (juicing) everyone we knew was supportive, "oh yeah, good idea, so healthy, I should do that again myself." But when we switched primal everyone was suddenly "what? oh no, I could never give up pasta! that's crazy!" It was almost a visceral reaction, like if we told them we were becoming cannibals. So, drinking nothing but kale juice for days on end is acceptable, but just cutting out grains is crazy? WTF?

lol

[Annieh]

I've heard that people don't change until the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same. I guess that would also apply to diet/lifestyle too.

The problem though, as others have pointed out many times (this thread and others) food is more than just nourishment for the body. It's also the traditions of a dozen generations, the social connection of friends, the comfort on a stressful day, for many cultures, the expression of love. Not easy to say *no* to all of that~

You're right, Nady, and that poses a dilemma when invited to a pot luck meal, for example. How do you express love with food? The other guests may appreciate a cake or lasagne or whatever and feel loved. But I would feel bad supplying it to them. On the other hand, if I make something primal, like almond and banana cheesecake, and it goes to waste then I feel like they haven't been able to receive the love I wanted to give. (As well as wanting to rescue the cheesecake before it gets thrown out!)

I'm sure there are some crossover foods both primal and yummy (to me everything primal is yummy). Real fruit salad and cream comes to mind, for example, but even then people feel guilty eating the cream, and too much like they are "trying to be healthy" when eating the fruit. It's tricky.

[CrazyCatLady]

They are not ready to hear advice. They are still in a disbelief stage. They are not ready to take control of their lives. Life is not fair. If life were fair, little kids would not get diabetes or cancer. Babies would not die of SIDs. But they haven't figured that out yet. They are dwelling on the one thing that they can't change (fairness) instead of the many things they could do to change.

If this were my family....I would not offer advice unless asked, (which they did) and then tell them that they asked your advice, you gave it, it is up to them to follow it or not....but, they are not allowed to berate you for telling them what they wanted. If they still want to berate you...well, then I wouldn't offer advice anymore even if they ask.

At some point they may come to a time when the information clicks, and they will follow it. I always had that hope when I was doing drug and alcohol prevention talks in the past. May not help those kids right now, but at some point it may help them to help themselves or a friend later on. It may be akin to believing in the Easter Bunny, but it is helpful to me to think that. And sometimes I have had people who pick up on things after the millionth time of asking for the same advice and follow through. And are happy that I told them a million times until it sunk in.

[zoebird]

This is a very emotional topic.

It's very personal in that, you care about these people a lot. And when they ask about what you do, and you share it, then they reject it. Often, they reject it with a lot of anger as well . . . which asserts that you are somehow "bad/wrong" in the situation, or somehow to blame. It's a very strange emotional dynamic.

I have personally opted to stay out of it. If they ask for information, I simply say "I'll send you a web site that has some information that we think is great." And that's it. Usually, I won't ask if they'd read it, and unless they ask me "how is that working for you, or how do you prefer to cook your tri-tip sirloin?" then, I don't talk about it at all.

At the end of the day, you can only save yourself, and you have to just let people make their own decisions. If you live with them, just learn to change the topic when it comes up.