"Your dad is so fat".... Primal Papa's Journal. page 41

[BearsBeetsBG]

Oh, I agree.... but I have also found that the more fat I actually eat - especially in meat - the less I like it.

Not making excuses. Just a fact. I'm not wavering. But I would like better results.

It doesn't have to be fat in meat. It can be a handful of macadamia nuts, or extra olive oil on your salad, or avocados... (or just spoonfuls of delicious coconut butter - but *ahem* nobody does that, right? Most certainly not me...)

[Primal Papa]

So, back to that girl who gets left home every weekend....

She was out tonight with my wife and my kids at a craft fair... She is off from school all next week for Thanksgiving. She will be off tomorrow because her parents are sending her on a cruise, with friends of theirs. The girl told my wife that she doesn't want to go, but her parents are making her go. She also told my wife she is not happy about being with people for a week that she doesn't even know at all.

So where will her parents be, or why are they sending her away for a week with people she doesn't even know ( though the family does have a girl her age ) ?..... Well, they are going to Georgia to golf for the week.

It just isn't right.

[Goldie]

Primal Papa, you may have to experiment a bit with what you eat to find what works best for you. And give each experiment at least 3-4 weeks to see how it goes.

A lot of people say "eat more fat", but that doesn't work for all of us. I tried Paleobird's "eat moar fat" protocol, and I GAINED weight at 300 calories under my normal maintenance calorie level. More fat does NOT work for me. I tracked every calorie, weighed/measured every bite, monitored my fat/protein/carb levels very closely... and more carbs, less fat works better for me.

I'm not saying "eat less fat"; I'm just saying that things might work differently for you. I've read that some people have a hard time when they eat even small amounts of fruit; others can't lose weight if they include dairy.

And you might also want to have your thyroid levels checked, if you haven't already (I've been awake for 24 hours so my brain isn't in top gear at the moment... I don't remember if you've mentioned this).

The human body and metabolism is a strange and mysterious thing, and one size definitely does NOT fit all!

[Primal Papa]

TY Goldie... yes, my thyroid was checked about 4 - 5 months ago.... came back normal.

I really think I am one of those people who need to do LOTS of exercise to lose weight, more than diet. Every time in my life whan I have lost significant weight, I have also worked out like a mad man.... But I did that before I had my heart attack, and before I was found to have diabetes. I am sure I can't reach that level these days.

Typically back then, it was about 10 hours a week at the gym, PLUS 100 - 125 miles a week of biking at 12 MPH on a flat river trail. And then sometimes ALSO working out at home by hitting a heavy bag. Even then, with watching my diet, it took a year to lose 75 pounds. And I really didn't gain much muscle, because I didn't lift weights... it was all cardio for the most part.

[geostump]

This what I've found that seems to work for me thus far. Fat is good, so are potatoes. I can still have a real Coke now and again and it doesn't hurt me. Fruit, I can take it or leave it, but prefer to leave it. Yesterday, I made a quasi bulletproof coffee. I used coconut oil and flavored coconut milk and it was delish! I eat a ton of chicken thighs and I love bacon. I'm actually thinking of making up a bunch of bacon this weekend and putting it in ziplock bags to keep in the fridge. Lifting weights and cardio are good for me(I just need to stop being so damn lazy).

That girl you are talking about is going to end up not wanting to have a relationship with her father when she's an adult. I feel like she's already looking at years of therapy already. Poor girl.

[Richardmac]

Hey just checking in. Dont get discrouraged. I cant remember your current level of exercise (I know you are giving this your all and its fantastic), but maybe your extra weight is new muscle? If it is not dont get discouraged. Either consider increasing your exercise level (this might not be possble with work, family etc), but also think of eating mroe to fuel your metabolism and thus burn more calories.

Here is what I ateyesterday (alot of chicken when usually I would have more variety but here is my food intake so you can compare - to a point of course)

1. Fratatta with black pudding and goats cheese
2. Two chicken thighs + apple
3. Three egg omelette with basil, banana.
4. Sweet potato with a homemade chicken curry (my amazing wife stripped down some chicken and mixed it with some herbs, cocunut milk, peppers etc.
5. Pan fried chicken breast + salad
6. More chicken curry
7. One chicken thigh, grapes, homemade chicken liver pate and oat cakes.

There was also a couple mugs of honey and lemon, as well as plenty fizzy water and a G-Bar (gluten,dairy, wheat free pumpkin seed bar containing about 9G's protein).

Like I said alot of chicken. I would usually have more fish in there but you get the idea.

Richard

[Primal Papa]

So, I would like to get something off my chest at the risk of alienating some of you.

I have never had a great relationship with my mother. She is 71 years old. My dad died when he was 42. My mom never remarried, or even dated much after my dad died. I think they kept it well hidden from me, but listening to things my mom has said over the years makes me think that maybe she didn't really like my father, and now she is telling me that I am just like him.

OK, so she is 71 and can't drive anymore. She lives in a low cost place with all old people BY HER CHOICE. I once bought her a house to live in, and she lived there for 2 years before moving to the old folk's place. She said she couldn't afford to live in the house. I paid the mortgage, but she was responsible for everything else.

So, about 4 months ago she gave up her car. She really had no choice because she became a menace on the roads, as she could no longer make good judgments. When she would visit me it would not be uncommon for her to park 3 - 5 FEET from the curb because she couldn't tell how far away she was from the curb.

I live 20 minutes from her. My brother lives an hour away, but works 20 minutes away from where she lives.

Without a car, she CAN arrange transportation - FREE - through where she lives, but she almost never will, instead, calling me to take her places 80% of the time, and my brother 20% of the time. I totally understand her reluctance to use the free transportation service that can be arranged. They are frequently late, and you must fit what you want into their schedule. It stinks, but it is free.

So, my mom asks me to do a lot for her.... take her places, help her around her apartment, and the like..... I AM 100% OK WITH THAT.

What I am not OK with is the way she always tries to take advantage of me by asking me for "about an hour of your time", but then wanting me to stay and do 2 - 3 hours of work. I blame myself for this because I let her get her way so often before... So the last time I went to help her prior to yesterday was about 10 days ago. We got into a fight because as always, she didn't tell me the complete truth when it came to what she wanted from me.

All I ask is that she tell me what she wants done so I can set aside the appropriate amount of time to help her, while leaving me the rest of the day to do what I have planned for myself.

OK, so yesterday we got into a BIG fight, and I told her I was done helping her anymore since she can't respect y time. Here is how this went, and how it always goes:

I called her up 3 days ago to see if she wanted me to take her to the bank the next day. She said yes, but that she would call me at about 1PM after she came home with her friend from shopping. At 1PM, no call..... at 2 PM, no call.... at 3 PM I call her house and leave her a message on her machine that I wasn't coming at all because she was already 2 hours late, and I had things to do. At 6PM she called me, and for a change she was in a really good mood. She said she was out having a great day with a friend she hadn't seen in years. She didn't call me though, to tell me she wasn't going to be available for our bank run. She does not have a cell phone. I bought her one and paid for it, but she lost it, and I canceled her plan, since she made LITERALLY 3 calls in 2 years.

At that point she apologized and said she should have called. Then she asked me for "about an hour of my time the next day" to go to the bank, and help her out. I agreed. I arrived at her home 3 minutes later than I said I would be there. She later brought this up, saying I was late getting her.


Sorry, this is LONG, but I need to get it off my chest, and maybe you will agree with me - or not.

So, I said I was taking her to the bank, and then would come back and help her around her apartment. We get out on the road and she asks if I have time to take her to Aldi's ( a low cost SMALL grocery store ). I have seen her go to this store often, and she usually buys like 3 or 4 things and is done, so I agreed. When we went into the store, she said "Go take care of your banking, and come back and get me".... My bank is in the parking lot of the same shopping center. So, I went and did my banking. Ten minutes later I go back to pick her up and she is still in only the 2nd aisle. And she has about 15 items in the cart. She THEN tells me that she is stocking up and will be a while..... 30 minutes later she is ready to check out..... So ALREADY I have given her an hour of time, and we have not yet gone to the bank, nor done the things she wanted me to do at her apartment.

So, as she is about to check out, I ask her why she needs to go to the bank, but I already know - she wants spending money.... So I tell her that we don't need to go to the bank, and that she can get money back from the cashier when checking out.... I ask her how much money she wants, and she says "Thirty Dollars".... which of course we know that most places dole out money in increments of 20. I again tell her that she can get the money from the store upon checkout, but it needs to be $20 or $40, not $30. She then says AGAIN that she wants to go to the bank to get the money.

At that point I tell he NO we are not going to the bank to get money, and that she can get it right at the store and save us 20 minutes. She says that she want to use the bank for the withdrawal, and not the store. I tell her it isn't going to happen., and that I have things to do, and need to get moving. So when she checks out, she uses her debit card, and DOESN"T TAKE OUT THE MONEY. And then says "Well, I messed up, and now we MUST go to the bank". She didn't "mess up". She did what she did because she wanted to.

So I knew that, because that is just the way she is. So I refused to take her to the bank, because her bank was 10 minutes further away, and that was going to be about 2 hours of my time, and I still had not done what she needed at her place. I told her that I don't mind helping her but please respect my time. We have the same "chat" every time I go to help her, and it usually gets loud.

I took her home, unloaded her groceries, and did the things I told her I would. I also told her that I am done taking her places, as she doesn't respect my time.

Honestly, she does this ALL THE TIME..... asks me for an hour of time, but then when I get there, she wants 2 - 3 hours of my time. And she doesn't think I should get upset. She doesn't get that I have my own plans too.

So I told her I was done with this.... as I was leaving she said "You're exactly like your father".

[Sabine]

I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. Your reactions seem very reasonable. It is the curse of unreasonable people that they can wear on us until we begin to doubt ourselves. You have every right to expect common courtesy from your mom. Good for you for standing up to a bully.

(And too many of us have mother issues to get on you.)

Hugs.

[geostump]

I have a lot of mother issues myself. This is the book I'm reading Who's Pulling Your Strings? by Harriet B. Braiker, PH.D. It's really opened my eyes and made me realize a lot of things. Check it out and I'm also going to start exploring my mother and relationship issues.

[Twibble]

I made this w/o a recipe, but this should be close:

Beanless Chili:

4 ounces of bacon grease
2 pounds of diced stew meat
2 chopped onions
2 diced jalapenos
2 cloves of garlic, chopped
about 36 ounces of fresh tomatoes, processed in my cuisinart until just barely chunky. I didn't skin or de-seed them.
3 TBS of chili seasoning
1 TBS of chili powder
2 TBS of maple syrup... yes, maple syrup.....
salt and pepper


Sear the diced stew meat in the bacon grease and set aside. You may have to do it in batches. I did.

Saute the onions, garlic, and jalapenos in the remaining grease - there won't be much left. Be careful not to let anything burn.

Now take EVERYTHING and put it in a dutch oven if you have one. Cook in a 325 degree oven for 2 - 2.5 hours.

Now, since rice isn't rally primal, here is what I did: I riced a big head of cauliflower and put the stew over it.... It was good, but I am not sure I would do it again. It took a few bites to adjust to chili and caulilflower in the same bite. The chili was really tasty, tho.

I am sure you could easily adapt to stove top use, but I didn't want to have to be stirring all day.

I'm a bit late since I didn't have internet the last few days...but this sounds very tasty. I might leave out the cauliflower though...