Something went wrong this weekend and I gave in to my cravings, I think it was because I have not been getting a nearly enough sleep. I feel gross, amazing how one bad thing can lead to the next and all the sudden I can feel an extra layer of fat building up. My face is even swollen.
It is such a mental thing for me, I understand nutrition and exercise, learned about it from different perspectives and I have done personal research....but I am a mental mess, sugar addiction and anxiety.
I am drained, emotionally, physically, mentally - this just keeps happening and it is the one of the most ridiculous problems ever. It should be so simple and yet I am making it so so complicated.
I am tiered of feeling fat, I am afraid to go hang out with people sometimes because of it... being 10 pounds heavier than my normal weight makes a short girl look a lot different and I can not seem to mentally get myself to stop torturing myself with fatty sugary attacks.
Being worried about this has taken me away from being the person that I am... it has taken the fun out of life, my personality, my creativity
- time to go to the grocery store and once again load up for a week of primal eating hopefully if I keep enough real food around it will prevent me from walking to the gas station that is a block a way and buying ice cream, fudge, chips, chocolate candy bars, and those little powdered white donuts
bleh another week to try and change, or should I word it "this week I will change" even though I've said this for about the past 8 months...