PB Journal (freedom.please) page 2

[freedom.please]

New day,
Thank the lord the past two days are over, some times I feel like I could have my own Man V. Food show. Stress is really an evil thing for me. I take my feelings and I eat them... its true

last night I had a great conversation with both of my parents over the phone. My dad and like to dream about buying and fixing up this store and he also started talking about his parents (who past a long time ago) gets a little emotional. My mom was trying to tell me that maybe I should go to a doctor and look at taking anti depressant medication I tried this last year and eventually said no way.. I do not like stuff messing with my brain. I do have some trouble with depression.

So, do I give in and try to find a happy pill again that works for me? or should I try to get back in to the Paleo diet and hope that my diet will change the way I feel (I'm sure it would over time)?

I hate being indecisive, need to work on this too

[Spiralicious]

I'm sorry things have been tough for you lately. Hopefully you will find the right solution for you! Whether or not you decide to go back on the anti-depressants, I really really hope you will keep up with the Primal eating! It can only do you good. Personally, I have found that I keep setting myself up for failure by expecting perfection, but every time I mess up, it's easier to stay with it when I start eating right again, and it's getting to be longer and longer in between slip-ups.
But whatever is going on in your life, giving your body the proper fuel will help you handle it better.
YOU CAN DO IT!

[freedom.please]

Today was a really nice day. Maybe not totally primal but close. I went out to dinner and found a dish of chicken and vegetables but I did have some of the side of rice

It was a really nice day because I got to partake in the Color Run 5K with my sister and cousin. Granted it was really chilly today we had a great time and it was a fun experience! Great to see so many people happy and excited all together.

I know this next week is going to be massively stressful with some things I have going on in school so I am making sure to take tonight and relax and sleep

"We are always getting ready to live but never living."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

[PHaselow]

Eat more fat. I am finally getting that it works! It keeps me satiated and I rarely snack (which gets out of control quickly) if I eat the fat. Use leftover bacon grease to fry up your eggs or in a vinaigrette for salad. Fattier cuts of meat. Butter and ghee.

Like you, I don't have much weight to lose, if any. I just want to feel better and find that happy medium without binge days. I want to eat intuitively to live another 54 years (hitting 100 is my goal).

Being new(er) to Primal eating, I have decided I need to go 100% primal for a period to get myself out of the habit of thinking I can have just a little bit of non-primal food without hurting my goal. Right now that doesn't work. When I start telling myself I can have that chocolate or that piece of cheesecake as a reward for doing so well eating primal it screws it all up!

So, bottom line is I feel your frustration. I've been keeping a journal for a few weeks myself. Good luck to you in breaking old habits. I'm sure it is hard in college. I am a stay-at-home mom with a husband who makes a good income. I have time on my hands to cook well and the money to do it right. My excuses should be minimal! ~Pam

[PHaselow]

New day,
Thank the lord the past two days are over, some times I feel like I could have my own Man V. Food show. Stress is really an evil thing for me. I take my feelings and I eat them... its true

last night I had a great conversation with both of my parents over the phone. My dad and like to dream about buying and fixing up this store and he also started talking about his parents (who past a long time ago) gets a little emotional. My mom was trying to tell me that maybe I should go to a doctor and look at taking anti depressant medication I tried this last year and eventually said no way.. I do not like stuff messing with my brain. I do have some trouble with depression.

So, do I give in and try to find a happy pill again that works for me? or should I try to get back in to the Paleo diet and hope that my diet will change the way I feel (I'm sure it would over time)?

I hate being indecisive, need to work on this too

Oh, my gosh. You are me! Me 25 years ago. Don't go the anti-depressant route just yet. I was on/off those things for 17 years without real relief. Sugar elimination and high doses of EPA (fish oil at least 2g/day for a few months to see) really helped my mood. Exercise, too. I took up cycling in college and it saved my life (my grades took a hit but, hey, I'm alive!).

If you do go the antidepressant route, take a look at the older classes of drugs (even back to the tricyclics) before you hop into the new stuff. Getting OFF of Effexor 9 years ago was the worst experience of my life. Those SSRIs can be nasty. There is a time and place for medication in this world, but try the diet first. 100% effort. It might not be the cure-all, but neither is the pill.

Hugs to you. It sounds like your parents are supportive and involved. I love that.

[freedom.please]

Did not sleep well last night -- found myself awake from about 2:30 - 4:30

Ponder topic : "Ideal" weight & body image

Here we are, a culture obsessed with our weight and appearance. Why have we become so obsessed with this? if we are healthy individuals does it really matter? -- but then again generally the healthy do not have as many issues with weight.

Ponder topic #2 : Why can't I mentally do it!!

In my mind my ideal weight is 120 pounds. This is what I see as my body's natural healthy weight. It is not skinny, I just know this is what I use to weigh when I felt good and before I discovered emotional eating. Right now I am 10 pounds too heavy, I feel awful, fat, slow, uncomfortable in my close, & irritable.

In reality it should only take me 7 weeks max to accomplish my desired weight. So lets say two months. This is not a very long time. I have been up and down for probably the last 6 or 7 months, had I just mentally stayed strong and done what I know is good for my body I would feel great and be right where I want to be. So for the next two months I need to figure out how to be extremely tough, of course I must continue with a healthy life style beyond this, but I know mentally to accomplish those two months is going to take something extra special

[freedom.please]

Oh, my gosh. You are me! Me 25 years ago. Don't go the anti-depressant route just yet. I was on/off those things for 17 years without real relief. Sugar elimination and high doses of EPA (fish oil at least 2g/day for a few months to see) really helped my mood. Exercise, too. I took up cycling in college and it saved my life (my grades took a hit but, hey, I'm alive!).

If you do go the antidepressant route, take a look at the older classes of drugs (even back to the tricyclics) before you hop into the new stuff. Getting OFF of Effexor 9 years ago was the worst experience of my life. Those SSRIs can be nasty. There is a time and place for medication in this world, but try the diet first. 100% effort. It might not be the cure-all, but neither is the pill.

Hugs to you. It sounds like your parents are supportive and involved. I love that.

Thank you thank you! I agree with you completely, antidepressants are a strange thing, I do not think it is good to be messing with brain chemicals in that way, what a mess it can make a person. I actually love going to cycling classes! I did this my freshman and beginning of sophomore year but for some reason I have been struggling to go this year. I think I should make the obligation to go this week

On a light note, have you ever heard of RAGBRAI (registers annual great bike ride across iowa) If you love to bike you must do this! It is a week long bike ride across Iowa, lots and lots of people, and every one has a great time. I have done this for several summers since it is something my parents have been doing for a long time. This last summer was a stinker with 115 degree heat index and head winds. But, if you have not checked it out you should! It is always the last full week in July.

Thank you again!

[PHaselow]

RAGBRAI sounds awesome! I live in WI, so it is doable. I'll look into it. I used to do the Best Dam Bike Tours for MS here in WI back in college. 150 miles over 2 days.

[freedom.please]

AHH! Tomorrow morning I have to take the PRAXIS exam. This is an exam students have to take to become a teacher (I am going to school to for Family and Consumer Science Education). Instead of eating my fear into this I thought I would journal! And just think if I was to eat a bunch of junk because I am stressed I would not do as well on the exam anyway. Have to get up early and just do my best

Today was so,so. But I made a fun game, I just bought a pull-up bar for my door way. Every time I had to walk into my bed room I had to do a pull-up before I could go in! I kept having to go in from the living room to get school stuff so I got my pull ups in for the day ~ I dig this

[freedom.please]

Go me, I survived the PRAXIS exam got the score back on the first two sections and they were fine, just have to wait for my score on the written part.

For dinner I made pizza, yeah thats right, PRIMAL PIZZA. It was great! Used eggplant as the crust and topped with tomato sauce ground beef, green bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and cheese (I am ok with dairy). Very pleased, I enjoyed it. For desert I had a few red raspberries.

Just living each day...