What do you guys think about my music? page

[Gadsie]

sorry for the non primal related topic,
But I just wanted to hear some opinions on the music I write
Last year in school we had to start a personal project, I decided to write stuff, and eventually I decided to record to beats. Anyway, here's a very short preview of a song I started today and still have to finish

Still kill remake by Kees William Brakman on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

[Bosnic]

I find most (but not all) rap music to be degenerate, and to promote thuggery. People who listen to it too much get this attitude about them, that is funny to observe. They glorify money over everything else ("get money"), while at the same time their attitude problem makes it so they don't respond well to authority, and thus are continually switching between minimum waged jobs. Their entire life becomes about increasing the size of their ego, rather than being a productive person, and a decent member of society. They purposely mispronounce and misuse words, and call it "slang" when in fact it's illiteracy, thus lowering their job prospects even further.

[Gadsie]

I find most (but not all) rap music to be degenerate, and to promote thuggery. People who listen to it too much get this attitude about them, that is funny to observe. They glorify money over everything else ("get money"), while at the same time their attitude problem makes it so they don't respond well to authority, and thus are continually switching between minimum waged jobs. Their entire life becomes about increasing the size of their ego, rather than being a productive person, and a decent member of society. They purposely mispronounce and misuse words, and call it "slang" when in fact it's illiteracy, thus lowering their job prospects even further.

hmm, I think you're mainly talking about soulja boy and lil wayne. Artists like Mos Def or Immortal Technique have some real good songs.

[ATTAACK]

Perhaps the problem with rap or hip-hop is that we try to judge it as it relates to music. This really isn't music per se, but rather, something different. So let's examine the "music" you do have in this. Okay, you have 3 chords. Here's my "primal" side coming out: You know absolutely NOTHING about music. You have no knowledge of music history, theory, forms, etc.

Now, having said that, I'm not saying your work has no value. There might be a group of people somewhere who find your "poetry" compelling, but ask yourself this: Is there anything new or original or unique in this work? If you choose to work within the genre of hip-hop then try to find something new. Your shitty grammar and your need to be viewed as tough have been played out again and again.

My advice to you would be to get an education, read a lot of books without pictures, get a job, enjoy your family, eat bacon, read some more books, get over trying be viewed as "hard" and all that bullshit...

Brought to you by a professional musician who reads, has a job, enjoys his family, eats bacon, and knows that coming from the 'hood and being a hard ass are things to be left behind to idiots. Grow up.

[Gadsie]

Perhaps the problem with rap or hip-hop is that we try to judge it as it relates to music. This really isn't music per se, but rather, something different. So let's examine the "music" you do have in this. Okay, you have 3 chords. Here's my "primal" side coming out: You know absolutely NOTHING about music. You have no knowledge of music history, theory, forms, etc.

Now, having said that, I'm not saying your work has no value. There might be a group of people somewhere who find your "poetry" compelling, but ask yourself this: Is there anything new or original or unique in this work? If you choose to work within the genre of hip-hop then try to find something new. Your shitty grammar and your need to be viewed as tough have been played out again and again.

My advice to you would be to get an education, read a lot of books without pictures, get a job, enjoy your family, eat bacon, read some more books, get over trying be viewed as "hard" and all that bullshit...

Brought to you by a professional musician who reads, has a job, enjoys his family, eats bacon, and knows that coming from the 'hood and being a hard ass are things to be left behind to idiots. Grow up.

I follow the highest education possible here in the Netherlands, I read books, enjoy my family and eat bacon. I don't know what makes you think I'm trying to be hard. I don't know what makes you think you know me.

Anyway, cool you're a musician, can I hear sething?

[Gadsie]

Something completely different
My bubble by Kees William Brakman on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

[Uncephalized]

You've got a good voice for speaking/rapping, Gadsie. It's a little funny that a guy from the Netherlands sounds like Eminem but it sounds pretty good. Keep working on writing lyrics and you'll keep improving.

You might want to know that in the word "grimy" the "i" is pronounced as in the words "time" and "crime" and "grime" (which is the root word), and not as in "Jim", "slim" or "grim". It rhymes with "slimy".

I find most (but not all) rap music to be degenerate, and to promote thuggery. People who listen to it too much get this attitude about them, that is funny to observe. They glorify money over everything else ("get money"), while at the same time their attitude problem makes it so they don't respond well to authority, and thus are continually switching between minimum waged jobs. Their entire life becomes about increasing the size of their ego, rather than being a productive person, and a decent member of society. They purposely mispronounce and misuse words, and call it "slang" when in fact it's illiteracy, thus lowering their job prospects even further.

Do you think you're being original or saying anything interesting when you criticize the music "the kids these days" are playing as though the same basic argument--and I use the term loosely--has not been levied against every new genre or musical style since the dawn of time?

Music isn't about being a decent person or promoting moral values, necessarily. It's just music. We play it to have fun, to express ourselves and tell our stories, to impress women, a million reasons.

Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, a lot of the people you think have been turned into anti-authority wastrels by that scurrilous rappity-hop music are anti-authority because they come from a socioeconomic background where they were regularly harassed or abused by authority figures like police and school administrators, always had the worst assumed of them, were never given second chances when they messed up, and are therefore rightfully indignant at the rank hypocrisy and double standards applied to them? That maybe they have a hard time getting and keeping jobs because they were never prepared for that world in the way that middle-class people routinely are from childhood? That maybe they glorify money and wealth because they've never had any, and feeling trapped in their circumstances see it as the only way to escape? That they might have grown up in a world characterized by gang violence and lawlessness, and their view of the orderly, mostly law-abiding and quiet world of the middle and upper classes is always taken from the outside looking in? That maybe, just maybe, their music reflects this kind of background rather than causing it?

Yeah, I'm sure some idiots adopt the hip-hop image and start letting it run their life--just like idiots do in every time period and with any excuse. It's because they're dumbasses, not because they listen to the wrong kind of music.

Perhaps the problem with rap or hip-hop is that we try to judge it as it relates to music. This really isn't music per se, but rather, something different. So let's examine the "music" you do have in this. Okay, you have 3 chords. Here's my "primal" side coming out: You know absolutely NOTHING about music. You have no knowledge of music history, theory, forms, etc.

Wow, this one is even worse! So centuries' worth of folk music traditions, many of which are based off pentatonic scales and simple chord progressions--which makes them highly accessible to casual/amateur musicians while leaving plenty of room for embellishment and embroidery by the more dedicated--are not music because they aren't the product of formal education in European music theory? And genres that rely on non-Western conventions like emphasizing rhythmic complexity over melody--those aren't music either? What an extraordinarily parochial and bigoted point of view.

Music is a characteristic of all known human societies, everywhere in the world. You don't get to decide what qualifies.

Now, having said that, I'm not saying your work has no value. There might be a group of people somewhere who find your "poetry" compelling, but ask yourself this: Is there anything new or original or unique in this work? If you choose to work within the genre of hip-hop then try to find something new. Your shitty grammar and your need to be viewed as tough have been played out again and again.

So it's not useful or productive for an amateur musician (Gadsie is a teenager, who by his admission has only been doing this for roughly a year), or writer, or performer, to imitate the structures or traditions of an established genre when learning his skills? Everyone needs to start composing original and innovative work from day one or they are just wasting their time?

I guess I should have just given up playing ukulele a couple of months ago when I only knew the C, G, F and Am chords, because I wasn't composing original cantatas. And I should definitely give up now because after a whopping 8 weeks I've only managed to play "Fur Elise", "Greensleeves" and "In the Hall of the Mountain King" competently in the classical style, and I STILL haven't managed to improve on the "Moonlight Sonata". God, I must be the most dimwitted and worthless musician the world has ever seen.

English probably isn't even his first language! He's from the Netherlands, for fuck's sake. How the fuck is he supposed to learn how to write better if every time he writes something a little awkwardly someone talks to him like he's an idiot and tells him to go do something else?

My advice to you would be to get an education, read a lot of books without pictures, get a job, enjoy your family, eat bacon, read some more books, get over trying be viewed as "hard" and all that bullshit...

Brought to you by a professional musician who reads, has a job, enjoys his family, eats bacon, and knows that coming from the 'hood and being a hard ass are things to be left behind to idiots. Grow up.

And you continue to dig yourself a deeper hole of assholery by making about a dozen assumptions about this kid from a different country who you've never met, just because of his affinity for a genre of music you obviously don't like. Yeah, you've got life all figured out for everyone, don't ya?

[Gadsie]

Thanks Uncephalized, you spoke some truth
I post everything on youtube so I don't get hurt by any haters anymore.
I have to say though that the track I posted in the OP wasn't a very good one,
I have other lyrics I'm more proud of

for example
Self Hate Bad Dub Cover - Atonomous - YouTube
Atonomous - Rise and Fall Cover (Nas) - YouTube
My bubble by Kees William Brakman on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

I recently got called by Funk Volume. An kind of underground label well known on youtube. I hope they'll call again..

[Blanchy]

Hey Gadsie, have you ever listened to Aesop Rock or Lupe Fiasco? I think you'd like them.

Aesop- Aesop Rock - Zero Dark Thirty - YouTube

Lupe- Lupe Fiasco - Bitch Bad [Music Video] - YouTube

They're both very intelligent guys, and write some great lyrics.