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Thread: Uncharted rambling of a Primal mind... page 33

  1. #321
    ssn679doc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Okay then, I am going to formally request that no pictures or pickies of any measuring of veiny parts show up here without the appropriate "CANIO Stay the Frack Out!" warning.


    No veiny pics for you!

  2. #322
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    Apparently I have to be pissed to do pull ups...... I am going out for a 3 mile run, so I wanted to attempt a pull up before I ran.... I addressed the bar... in a abusive military manner, jumped up, grabbed the bar and banged out 1.... then 2.... and dropped off the bar.... I like to quit while I am ahead..... now for my run.....

    I feel better now...

  3. #323
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    Quote Originally Posted by ssn679doc View Post
    Apparently I have to be pissed to do pull ups...... I am going out for a 3 mile run, so I wanted to attempt a pull up before I ran.... I addressed the bar... in a abusive military manner, jumped up, grabbed the bar and banged out 1.... then 2.... and dropped off the bar.... I like to quit while I am ahead..... now for my run.....

    I feel better now...
    Nicely done. Run a few miles for me. I need the exercise.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  4. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by ssn679doc View Post
    To the point that my wife, being the aggressive (read that assertive, outgoing) nurse that she is comes up to me tonight before I head off to work and starts poking at the veins in my forearm like she wants to start and IV, and says she hasn't seen my veins like this in years (in a playful manner) So, I played along and dropped my pants and showed her another vein she hasn't seen in years..... on the back of my knee....... you folks have dirty minds!
    THAT has to be the best medical professional pick-up line in history! Reminds me of Grandpa Gustafson in Grumpy Old Men... wanna' see my...?!
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  5. #325
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crabbcakes View Post
    THAT has to be the best medical professional pick-up line in history! Reminds me of Grandpa Gustafson in Grumpy Old Men... wanna' see my...?!
    I do plan on being the Casanova of the old folks home..... lol

  6. #326
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    Joke for you...


    The Navy found they had too many officers and senior enlisted so decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The retiring sailor got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

    The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

    But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chiefs' weenie and began to work back.

    "Dear Lord," he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?''

    The old Chief calmly replied, "In Vietnam.''
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

    What the F&#* is a decorum? - Mr. Anthony

  7. #327
    NZ primal Gwamma's Avatar
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    hahahahahahahahahahahahahah - breath - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahah - breath hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah breath hahahahahahahahahahahahahah - breath - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahah - breath - hahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah breath hahahahahahahahahahahahahah - breath - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahah - breath hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah breath hahahahahahahahahahahahahah - breath - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahah - breath hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahah breath
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

  8. #328
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Joke for you...


    The Navy found they had too many officers and senior enlisted so decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The retiring sailor got to choose what those two points would be.

    The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

    The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked Out with $96,000.

    The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'

    It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.

    But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.

    The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chiefs' weenie and began to work back.

    "Dear Lord," he suddenly exclaimed, ''Where are your testicles?''

    The old Chief calmly replied, "In Vietnam.''
    Let that be a lesson to ya..... don't mess with the Chief! lol.... that is a great joke!!! I WILL be passing this one on!
    Last edited by ssn679doc; 03-01-2013 at 03:38 AM.

  9. #329
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    Well, if we're going with military jokes...

    Why the Services Can't Work Together


    One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

    For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

    Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

    Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

    The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  10. #330
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twibble View Post
    Well, if we're going with military jokes...

    Why the Services Can't Work Together


    One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.

    For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors.

    Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter.

    Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.

    The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
    True, every word of it!

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