My sister-in-law's diet... page 2

[zoebird]

You'll just have to ignore it. I've learned to ignore what my family eats, what my neighbors eat (though they eat really healthfully), and what have you. A couple of our coworkers eat very poorly, and it's shocking because we are health practitioners. But, hey, everyone has their own thing.

I would say that you could go ahead and offer her veggie-friendly stuff, and then she'll either take it or not. It's fine.

[PHaselow]

I'm not even sure what the point of this post is, other than that I think I'm going to start screaming and knocking her food out of her hands at some point if I don't let out some of my frustration.

So my sister in law moved in with my husband and I about 3 months ago. It's been awkward for numerous reasons, but one of the things that makes me the craziest of all is watching her eat. First off, she's extremely overweight. Second, she's strangely picky when it comes to her food - it has to look appetizing? I think is how she explained it to me once when we took her out to a Korean/Japanese restaurant and she didn't want to eat her noodles (SO GOOD) because they had pieces of strange looking vegetables in them (that could have easily been avoided). Except that this seems like complete BS because she'll eat veggie meat out of a can, and I'm pretty sure we all know what THAT looks like (dog food). It's seems like a convenient excuse for when she doesn't want to try something.

A typical day's food for her:

Breakfast: 1-2 bowls of some type of sugar cereal with almond milk
Lunch: Pizza from grocery store (small), maybe some fake breaded chicken, OR brown rice with soy sauce
Dinner: Veggie meat, maybe some beans from a can, MAYBE a couple pieces of lettuce or cut up peppers (some take on a taco salad), mashed potatoes with margarine (plastic, anyone?)

Taco bell is a frequent stop for her; same with the local sandwich shop (veggie meat on a baguette with ranch).

Let me just say, she's a very sweet girl who happens to be extremely conservative (Adventist). To her, not eating meat is religiously motivated as well as that she probably thinks it's gross. She prays over all her meals and I.just.can't.take.it. Thanks for this processed, GMO, sugar-filled inflammation bowl, and please help it nourish and strengthen my body???

Now I have a ways to go myself - I've been overweight my whole life, but I'm feeling better than ever eating primally. I've dropped 6 pounds in 3 weeks, but I don't think anything besides DRASTIC results (which is what I'm going for) is going to lend support to anything I'd try and say to her. Plus the whole idea that primal eating is based on evolution is something else that would cause her to believe it has no merit (because the world is only 6,000 years old in her belief system).

Anyway, this is mostly me venting and not having a real good idea of how to help her, at least until I can make some major progress of my own.

And for everyone's reading pleasure, here is the contents of her side of the cupboard!
Canned veggie meat
Canned beans
Canned corn
Canned green beans
Extra butter microwave popcorn
Spaghetti
Cookies
Soy sauce
Ramen noodles
Canned peaches
Saltine crackers
Tortilla chips
Quick oats

Any ideas/constructive suggestions would be happily received, or just feel free to vent about your OWN instances of encounters with horrific diets if you feel the need. Getting this out has made me feel slightly better, actually.

Quietly go about your transformation and be her example. Right now you are on your Primal Throne, which is only going to stress you out and put tension in the household.

Unless you are buying her food, you have no control over her eating habits. Let her brother do the lecturing. If she asks questions, then jump right in and talk away! Offer her some of what you are eating.

You say she is sweet. I am trusting you on that. If she was a bitch, then I'd offer advice involving a dumpster and a change of locks.

Congratulations on your success! Keep it up.

[Saoirse]

why are you trying to help her if she isn't interested? other than maybe finding some Adventist literature about healthy eating and leaving it in a conspicuous place (they eat much better than she does), live and let live. She sees how you eat and she'll see how it works for you. If she's interested, backing off and shutting up will give her the time and space to think about it and ask questions.

beyond that, sharing your space with others is hard. BTDT. the littlest things start to be super annoying and otherwise congenial, rational people may start to nag and nitpick. I can imagine being annoyed by her dietary choices.

[waterjen]

And for everyone's reading pleasure, here is the contents of her side of the cupboard!
Canned veggie meat

After four years of being a veg head, I didn't even realize they make canned veggie meat. Not that such a thing would have been tempting (fake meats just weren't tempting to me), but really ...

[Moll]

How about just offering her every type of good vegetable and fruit dish you make for yourself, and letting the rest slide? You can't change other people's minds or hearts for them. In stressful times, people cling to what comforts them, and though you didn't say why she moved in with you, the possibilities(job loss, problems at home, etc) suggest stress, and then there's just the stress of being around her brother and sister-in-law in a new situation, 24/7. Use some of your new-found primal calm to be gentle with her. That's the best kind of superiority.

I like this idea, the only problem is that we're SO poor right now that it's hard to afford food even for the two of us. Hopefully job situations are looking up and we'll have a bit more income to work with, and then I can put that into practice. And she moved in with us to kind of become more independent...was formerly living with her parents. So I guess it's a step in the right direction...
But yes, I will absolutely try to keep my primal calm.

[PHaselow]

If you want to change her habits, start with making her a healthy vegetarian!

Do some research on 7th Day Adventist's dietary recommendations and point out the the book of Leviticus banned Ramen noodles and canned fake meat. They just *sound* unclean. The book of Leviticus (where they base their recommendations) does not ban all meat; just unclean meat. A vegetarian diet is recommended for health reasons. Adventist's truly value health AND SHE IS NOT HEALTHY! Try that angle.

[Moll]

Logic won't work on her. Use your female wiles to belittle and denigrate her food choices. Alternatively you could just try the method my grandmother used regarding yours truly concerning the blubber situation. That is, grab a piece of belly flab, wiggle it around and state in a neutral tone "you've gone fat. You need to lose the blubber". Smile sweetly afterwards.

Worked for me.

LOL damn your grandmother must have quite the personality!!

[Moll]

why are you trying to help her if she isn't interested? other than maybe finding some Adventist literature about healthy eating and leaving it in a conspicuous place (they eat much better than she does), live and let live. She sees how you eat and she'll see how it works for you. If she's interested, backing off and shutting up will give her the time and space to think about it and ask questions.

beyond that, sharing your space with others is hard. BTDT. the littlest things start to be super annoying and otherwise congenial, rational people may start to nag and nitpick. I can imagine being annoyed by her dietary choices.

Around here (total Adventist town) most of them eat like crap.
I think it's just a case of her having knowledge but not being willing to implement it.
And yeah - it's the LITTLE things that start to irritate...and I've always considered myself to be really easygoing and not easily aggravated!

[j3nn]

If she's buying her own food, then say and do nothing about any of it unless she asks for advice or suggestions. Just do you, we can't change others unless they are open to it. Nobody cares for unsolicited input when it's not even on their agenda to discuss.

[Moll]

You say she is sweet. I am trusting you on that. If she was a bitch, then I'd offer advice involving a dumpster and a change of locks.

Congratulations on your success! Keep it up.

Lol her brother's not much of a talker.
I'm intrigued by this dumpster/lock change suggestion hahahaha.
Thanks for the congrats - I'm feeling excellent!!!