Hi Everyone,
I am a fan of this website, and been a long time lurker. I know plenty about nutrition and fitness, conventional and not. I am a firm believer that fat is good. My problem is in not being able to stay away from grains and carbs for long enough periods, even though I know I feel better when I don't eat grains/sugar.
Long story short- I feel like crap. I don't need to lose weight, but I could stand to get leaner and stronger. I am tired of the constant cravings, the lethargy, the mind-fuzz, racing thoughts etc. brought on by sugar and carbs. I want to feel good. I'm hitting rock bottom. I need help. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and bulimia (in and out-and I don't know if bulimia causes depression or my anxiety and depression cause me to seek relief from food. Chicken/egg question but I am more able to control the eating disorder these days).

My question relates to protein. ONe of the reasons I stopped living the primal lifestyle when I tried a couple years ago was because I was losing my mind with the numbers. I never quite got to the point where I was able to feel strong, or have enough energy even when I was working out grok style (not overdoing it, no chronic cardio) ANd..I gained weight and started feeling flabby despite a 1500-1700 calorie diet. It seems like to really do primal right, one has to become a counter-not just overall calories, but protein as well- because too much protein turns to glucose. Back then when I gained weight, even though my carbs were under 50, I was told it may be too much protein. I was maintaining 60-70% fat intake. I may not be exact on the numbers, but I just remember it always being a matter of such a delicate balance. Constantly checking calories, protein/fat content. Not just being able to go to the recipes section and eating a meal from there. After a while, the uncertainty, and the counting was driving me nuts. I stopped doing primal, went back to lean meats, some fat, still minimal carbs, and at least lost the flabby feeling and got my firmness back. But I feel crappy nevertheless in a different way.

Seriously...It's not supposed to be that difficult is it?? I get the book tomorrow-will there be an explanation of this in there? I see people on the forums saying "don't count calories", but yet it seems many people do. It almost seems like you have to.

Can ya'll give me some pointers and advice on starting right? Right now I'm just fearful.

THank you so much

PS: I'm 41, 5'7'' and 132 pounds