So pleased to hear things are getting better. *hugs*
Happy to say that I'm feeling much better. Still having the anxiety, but it is tolerable now. I'm learning to identify my personality flaws an am changing them. It's just the beginning of course. My new focus: Clean eating (for nutrition, not as a social activity or out of boredom), increased walking and adding squats and push-ups... and more things along the way of course, absolutely no dating for an undetermined amount of time... when I've achieved more of a sense of peace. I'm thinking 6 months to a year... maybe longer. Prepping my self for an emotional Sunday... I have to go to a baby shower (I freakin hate those things) so I am missing the Lion's game >:/ Then the final episode of Breaking Bad... so excited to see it, sooooooooo sad it's over. The sadness was eased a little when I read that the creators are making a new show about two cops in Battle Creek! I was born and raised and still live in the Creek Nothing cool happens here, lol... so it's pretty exciting!
So pleased to hear things are getting better. *hugs*
My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.
Having a very restless night. So much on my mind, but in a much more positive way than before. I am making some changes in my life that I don't think a lot of people will understand, but I think that it's all going to be for the best. I'm no longer concerned with dating and certainly not procreation or i should say the definite possibility of not procreating. Well I mean I will still think about it of course, but it's not going to be at the forefront of my mind any longer. I am really trying to focus on my health and overall well being. I'm trying to do what's best for myself. I know that my friends may not agree with some of the choices I am going to make, especially one of my best friends, who is trying to set me up with some guy. I told her I was completely uninterested in dating right now... she's confused as to why, but I couldn't really find the words to explain it... I am not really sure why myself. I guess I just have a different view on things right now. The reason I can't sleep is that I spent the night at a friends and the "night noises" are different here. It will make me so grateful to go to bed at home tomorrow night (well technically tonight). Not looking forward to work in a couple hours, but I'll manage. I guess I just needed an outlet to vent a little in hopes of getting sleepy. Have to be up in an hour or so and the phone battery is dying. I suppose I'll try to catch a few more z's.
I'm am completely exhausted, but still did my walking, wall push ups and squats today... starting small, but going far (I hope)! Legs were so sore. I can't believe I managed to do them at all today, lol. Not hungry, so I'm going to rest a little bit and hopefully not fall asleep!
Omg... just waking up and my stomach and my legs are sooooooo sore. I'm still proud of myself though. I can feel myself getting stronger. Pushing myself makes me feel good. Doing it again today, assuming my legs don't just collapse, lol. Another thing I am going to do today is make my list. It's going to be long. My list of shit I need to get done. One whole section will be organizing rooms. Organize coat closet, organize kitchen cupboards, organize the giant boxes of papers I have, etc... I am going to begin getting rid of all the crap I don't need. It's going to be a long list, but I will get everything on it done. I did my book case the other day and it made me feel so much better that I think it's time to do that with everything... ha, just thinking about all the different things to do now I am getting overwhelmed! That's why I need the list. One thing at a time. Today's goal is just to make the list... oh and somehow get my sore ass out of bed
An order of no strength training for me today... walking only. It's a day of rest. Feeling quite content and excited to see what each day will bring right now. New experience #1 tomorrow... very excited
Tossing and turning all night. I never sleep well when I've had too much wine. Oops. Trying to think of a primal goodie to prepare for myself for the game today. Also, back to my strength building routine today after two days rest. I intended only one day of rest, but got busy yesterday.
It's nice knowing a place where you can say "I had a plate of chicken thighs for dinner" and not get weird looks
I feel like I'm back at the beginning of my primal journey. In a good way. I can't believe how much I have gone through in a week, also in a good way, hard, but good. I've been reminded that there are good people in the world, that there are people who understand me and my journey. There are people who don't get it too, but who are kind enough to be supportive anyway. I live in an apartment complex and I parked at my friend's boyfriend's last night (in the same complex) and just ended up leaving my car there. This evening I still hadn't gone to get it, rough day. And he comes to my door and said he didn't want me walking to get it in the dark, so he took me down there and ran up to the apartment and grabbed the bowl I left there. Another friend sent me some beautiful music that really moved me along with some supportive words. I feel so blessed to have come across so many beautiful giving people in my life.
It's these seemingly small kindnesses that made my day better. When my day is made better I make better choices, healthier choices. When I make better, healthier choices more of my days are made better. After a day of feeling a little "off" I am feeling more connected and at peace. I'm grateful.
Strange day... but still feeling great! Still got my workout in and haven't had a "cheat" yet... which is easy when you have barely eaten in two days, lol. My theory... if you're not hungry, don't eat. So lucky to have such wonderful encouraging people in my life. From the time I got back on track... about 8lbs down in two weeks. Very happy. Looking forward to tomorrow.