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  1. #11
    Jena's Avatar
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Well today was a rough one. Food-wise, emotionally, physically, it sucked. I mean I didn't eat a whole birthday cake or anything, but I did have half of a grinder from one of my favorite restaurants. Since my day sucked my friend came over with food and movies. I feel bad about myself for trying to use unhealthy food to make myself feel better. Not because its the end of the world or anything, but just because its so counter intuitive. Today was hopefully the end of dealing with a major stress I had going on in my life so I am excited to wake up tomorrow and start fresh. We make mistakes , we have the choice to move on or not. I am moving on. Sometimes I swear that I finally get myself on the right track and I try to sabotage it. I guess part of me is afraid. I am afraid that if I really try I will be disappointed in the results. I'm afraid that I will never make anything out of my life. Okay. That's it. I am making myself want to puke with all of this self pitty. Going to bed and waking up with my usual ass kickin attitude!
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

    My journal - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread66276.html

  2. #12
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    I hope you had a fresh start today and things aren't so stressful for you. Try not to focus on failing...... try to focus on the satisfaction you get by doing the right thing. I'm rooting for you!

  3. #13
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    The old ways aren't going to give up easily, Jena. Stay tough, you're doing an awesome thing! Don't let small failures discourage you, it's all about picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and moving forward. Grok on!

  4. #14
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    Hey, I just came to write a little before bed and was so happy to see a couple of very nice replies to my pathetic post from yesterday. My day did not go that well at first, but I finally whipped myself into gear. Cleaned up around the house, cooked some dinner, and spent some time with one of the coolest kids on the planet (my friend's daughter, but she spends half of her time in my apartment, lol). My eating was somewhat questionable today, but I could not kick this ham craving I have been having for the last few days. Its not even one of my favorite foods, but for some reason I thought about a big piece of ham and a baked potato with sour cream since the moment I got up this morning. So after my day of sulking I finally put my big girl pants on and went to the store and got some groceries. Mmmmmm.... it was fantastic. I had a few sausage links for breakfast too, but that's about it. I didn't want any veggies today. I ususally try to make it a point to eat vegetables, but just didn't feel like it today. I will make sure to steam up lots of brocolli for dinner tomorrow and maybe a big ass salad for lunch. I wanted some chicken wings while I was watching football, but it doesn't even really sound good anymore I guess I will see what I feel like when I get out of work at 1. The Lions have a bye week this week anyway (thank god, because frankly I can't stand to watch them make asses of themselves for another week in a row) so I might just skip the football this week and try to get some more job searching and resume sending done online tomorrow instead. I am done feeling sorry for myself, especially since I am the reason for all of my stress anyway. Sometimes when you are like, okay... I can't possibly eff up any worse than this time or that time... BAM! You really throw yourself for a loop. I promised myself that I have shit the bed for the last time (that's figurative of course, I don't shart in my bed) and I am putting all of my past behind me and moving on. I have a lot of things to get going in my life if I plan on "having it all" at a reasonably young age. Why oh why did I screw around for so long!? Oh well, I guess I wouldn't trade any of my life experiences, bad or good, for anything. They made me who I am now, and I kinda dig myself so its cool. Okay, tomorrow, at least getting some veggies in me, get some exercise even if its only a short walk, squats and push ups, and make a to-do list for this coming week! God, look at me ramblin on... this is what happens when I deactivate my facebook account, lol.

    Oh, yeah... how could I forget about my dessert tonight... homemade whipped cream mixed with melted dark chocolate, mmmm.... the chocolate was only like 60% so it wasn't that primal, but I swear back on track tomorrow... Monday at the latest
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

    My journal - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread66276.html

  5. #15
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    Hi Jena,
    A wise person once told be just put one foot in front of the other and soon enough your moving forward. What they forgot to tell me was every once in a while you fall down and slide back. Keep facing a forward direction and you will pull through. Back slides are ok and sometimes needed to find the path you might have missed in your haste to move past that which you want to get away from. Long and short of it - keep pursuing what you want and eventually you will get it.
    Cheers!
    “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

    "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Primal Primate View Post
    Hi Jena,
    A wise person once told be just put one foot in front of the other and soon enough your moving forward. What they forgot to tell me was every once in a while you fall down and slide back. Keep facing a forward direction and you will pull through. Back slides are ok and sometimes needed to find the path you might have missed in your haste to move past that which you want to get away from. Long and short of it - keep pursuing what you want and eventually you will get it.
    Cheers!
    Well I definitely did fall on my face there for a minute! And you are right all I can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and I will get through. Not that I want to just "get through" life, but in a few instances, that seems to be the way to go. I suppose my eating was better today in a way because I only ate 4 eggs, lol. Not my intention, just don't have much of an appetite today.
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

    My journal - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread66276.html

  7. #17
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    Good to know you are getting back on track even though it's with an unintentional egg fast. I had 4 eggs today as well but with a lot of other shit. Keep on truckin!

  8. #18
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    *raises hand*

    4 eggs for breakfast

  9. #19
    Jena's Avatar
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    All I can say it thank goodness I like eggs! I prefer meat, but when you're in a hurry eggs are awesome
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

    My journal - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread66276.html

  10. #20
    Jena's Avatar
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    Oh another "bad" thing I have been doing is working my way through a 1/2 gallon of cider. It's the only time I plan on buying it this fall so I don't feel too guilty. Hell, last year I was mixing it with Captain Morgan and chasing it with a pack of smokes, so I still say I am doing considerably better Not to say I won't add a little Captain if there is any cider left next weekend!
    Cha-cha-cha changes.... turn and face the strange...

    My journal - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread66276.html

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